meredith grey and me

back when grey's anatomy was new, my officemates and i assigned characters to each of ourselves. i was meredith grey, gay was christina, rache was izzy, raul was george, and lala was alex. we laughed at how each character, to a certain extent, seemed so appropriate to each one of us - like how gay could sometimes be afraid of intimacy, and how rache and raul were close to one another, and how gay, rache, raul, and i got along swimmingly well.

at some point in time i think all of us watched grey's anatomy (on dvds, hehehe) religiously, but now, i think i'm the only one still addicted to it.

anyway, i was nursing a bum stomach friday night when i remembered i still hadn't finished season 6 so i turned on the tv and dvd and started watching. there was this episode, i can't remember now which, where it struck me how hardcore these people were about being doctors and i couldn't help but feel bad over the fact that i'm not as hardcore as being a lawyer. i sent a text message to my boss/friend and i'm willing to be she thought i was drunk cause i was texting stuff in a semi-wailing state but i couldn't really get over how being a lawyer isn't my life; rather, it's just a job.

sigh.

is it midlife crisis?

is it career crisis?

or worse, could it be that i wasn't really meant to be what i am now?

oh, i hope not.

i've a hearing (yay!) on wednesday. it's a labor case -- something i absolutely love with a passion -- and hopefully being in the stinky and hot corridor over at PPSTA building, appearing before a labor arbiter, and pretending i'm hot sh*t will remind me why i studied for five years (evening class kasi) and and reviewed for the bar twice only to have the honorific atty appended to my name.