dear frances, a miracle would be much appreciated right now. thanks.

When I was young and cocky, I didn't think much about skin care. Soap was almost always the the only cleaning agent of choice, and it didn't really matter to me what soap I was using even. As a matter of fact, one time, I actually believed my aunt that bathing using blue laundry soap (it was ajax i think) would do wonders for my skin.

When I was young and cocky, lotion was just something relatives brought home from the US when they couldn't think of anything else to give you. Moisturizer was a foreign concept and toners, well, toners were just eskinol with a sprinkling of dalacin-c (if i remember it correctly).

When I was young and cocky, I didn't mind putting lotion (yes, body lotion!) onto my face to make it softer. I didn't mind burning under the hot sun -- sunblock was too expensive and I knew that sooner or later, things would go back to normal.

When I was young and cocky, I thought soft supple skin would last forever.

And then this happened. I was burned, I was peeling irregularly, and I had an impending blind date with someone who's in the Philippines for just two weeks. I was desperate, and I tried almost everything.

It didn't come as a surprise that in spite of all my efforts, nothing much happened. All the facial moisturizers, sunblock, recovery creams, toners, and extra loving care couldn't undo the damage I had done to my skin simply because I neglected to apply and reapply sunblock that weekend. I wasn't young anymore, so I couldn't have afforded being cocky. So, I am sending a major shout out to the beauty gods to send some love my way. (please?) I want to try Kiehl's Midnight Recovery Concentrate because I am no longer young and cocky, and my skin could no longer afford the abuse being young and cocky brings..

You see, long after that trip to beach, people were still commenting on how dark I was (note, not tanned, but dark as in maitim -- to the tune of repeated chants of ang itim-itim mo!!!) It didn't matter that I regularly used a particular whitening product range, applied moisturizer with sunblock first before heading out of the house, and stayed out of the sun as much as I can. More than a month after getting back, my skin was still not over the torture it received. I'm afraid it'll never go back to its former glory -- I need a miracle, and judging on Frances's running diary on her experience with the Kiehl's Midnight Recovery Concentrate, maybe it's just what I need to bring back that youthful glow I once enjoyed.

And don't think I want to do this so I can be fair again -- the only reason why I used whitening products (and so wrong I know) at that time was cause I (mistakenly) believed that it was the best way to get my old skin back.

Promise, I'll use only two drops a day. Promise, I'll sleep the requisite 7 hours. And super promise, I won't be cocky anymore with my skin.

But before I go on making a bazillion promises, I just I hope I win my very own bottle of Kiehl's Midnight Recovery Concentrate from Beauty For A Living!

*image from kiehls.com

the quest for metallic shoes goes on and on and on...

remember this? that day, after consulting a number of friends via text, i went to work, and actually attended a client meeting, wearing silver shoes with tiny silver balls and black grosgrain ribbons. and while those shoes died a natural death after being worn one too many times, my shoe closet has never been without a pair of shiny metallic flats - from bright palara silver to lovely matte gold. as a matter of fact, the other day, i barely restrained myself form buying yet another pair of gold flats. i so wanted them, but i couldn't afford them anymore, not with an upcoming trip to vietnam.

but then, i read anthology shoes's tweet. and i followed the link. and there it was: anthology's shanghai in gold.

ooooh. it's just too lovely to contemplate. and a size 8 at that. i'm beginning to think the shoe gods finally heard me.

*sigh* it would be perfect on the plane to vietnam, with a simple pair of dark jeans and a plain white button-down top. it would be perfect while eating those fresh spring rolls wearing a loose white summer dress (to hide the overstuffed tummy). it would be perfect walking around the market wearing cream shorts and a plain white tee. oooh... it would just be perfect anywhere, and considering that we're flying there and back with no check-in luggage, having one pair of shoes to go with every single outfit would just be heaven. and if i, the always over-packed shoe addict were to bring only one pair of shoes on a trip, then it would have to be something as fabulous as the shanghai in gold.

and did i say i was a size 8? at the risk of being repetitive ... it's just PERFECT.

my inner elle woods

when legally blonde first came out, i was slaving my way through law school while working as an instructor in the university to help pay for tuition and other expenses. i couldn't help but laugh at the circumstances that brought her there, and how she managed to triumph in spite of all the obstacles that being a misfit posed.

and so, every single time i felt out of place in law school, i'd watch legally blonde. after all, just like elle, i was more concerned about the shallower things in life than my own career as a lawyer.

eventually, i made it through law school, and i (thankfully) passed the bar examinations. i'm a lawyer now, a good one, i'd like to think so, and i'm supposed to be living the life i've dreamed of in the past. still, every so often, i can't help but sit and ask myself, is this what i really want?

this is where my inner elle woods steps in. whenever i get stressed with my job, i relax by walking around the mall. sometimes, when money isn't so tight, i treat myself to a little something -- and being the shoe addict that i am, it's almost always to a new pair of shoes.

so i've got high heels and flats, pumps and sandals, boots and sneakers. and, since flooding is almost always horrible in the manila area where i used to work, i even have a pair of pink rainboots. notwithstanding my extensive shoe closet, i am horribly aware of the fact that i do not have hot pink shoes to complete my elle woods self. if i only had a neon pink pair of anthology flats, my collection would be complete.

i can imagine myself in them now ... at the office on a casual friday, in lovely jeans and a simple top, then wow-ing everyone with my neon pink flats. i'd be so cute (a little self-indulgence here!) i could burst.

and, who knows, maybe on the day i'm wearing my uber-cute neon pink anthology flats, i'd bump into my own prince charming and flawlessly execute the bend and snap ☺♥☺♥☺