Monday, February 23, 2004

between school, parents, and church, you would think that these three would've taught you most of what you needed to get along in life. you learn to read. you learn to write. you learn to get along with people you don't like and you learn to be good. you learn the good stuff, you learn the bad stuff.

but what you never learn is how to get through a two-hour lunch with your boyfriend's family.

sunday lunches are sacred. i can see the boy saturday evenings, sunday afternoons, and monday late night, but not on sunday lunch. sunday lunches are spent with his entire family. sunday lunches are spent on family meetings. sunday lunches aren't spent with the girlfriend.

that is, until yesterday. the girlfriend of four months going on five was invited to THE family lunch.

it was his sister's birthday and she was paying. she told the boyfriend to invite me, and in spite of nervousness, tension, and great alarm that one only feels right before an exam one didn't study for, i said yes.

my chopstick skills - one i had since grade four - failed me. my let-me-peel-the-shrimp-with-my-spoon-and-fork-instead-of-my-hands-skills - which was non-existent to begin with - failed to appear miraculously. even my appetite - especially for all things yummy - failed me.

all i could manage was to bob my head and smile.

after all, what could one really do, especially if the first greeting i got after sitting down was from his five year old nephew who blurted in the loudest voice imaginable, "who are you?"

Sunday, February 22, 2004

all i wanted was a cheeseburger and see where it got me

it was a saturday, and saturdays are tax days.

i don't really like tax. at best i tolerate tax. it is, after all, a bar subject. six units of my law life, nothing i actually understand, is actually 1/8 of my bid at lawyer-dom. it's unfair, i know. don't even get me started on negotiable instruments law.

still, this saturday wasn't at all bad. it was one of the rare times i actually had tax cases with me on friday night, i actually attempted to be ready for class, and banking was cancelled due to jessup. tax was just a three-hour torture that i had to get through and over with and my weekend would be on its way to a glorious start.

and in less than three hours, it was over. and i realized right there and then that all i wanted was a cheeseburger. that being the case, i planned my route around the cheeseburger. i would pass by the drive-thru at mcdo katips. home would be through aurora, then left at edsa, then airport road, then home.

told my self, one hour. one hour should be good enough.

the long line at the drive-thru should have been a sign. i didn't heed it. i fell into line, waited a horrendous twenty minutes to finally get my cheeseburger meal, and consumed the damn thing in five minutes flat, fries and drinks included.

the wolfing it down part was really bad. i wasn't even in anonas when i was hungry again. yes, i waited twenty minutes to figure out whether i was hungry or not. yes i tried to resist the temptation in the form of street food. no i did not succeed. pop rice, in the middle of horrible traffic, was my friend.

by this time, it had been almost an hour since i left law. i was nowhere near my house. it didn't help that i discovered only then that it was impossible to make a left turn at edsa. i could've, except that i wanted to keep my license in my wallet where it belonged.

so i went straight ahead and found myself turning right at hemady, left at 3rd st., and left at gilmore. and what do you know, i attracted an admirer.

a spanking cherry red crv pulled up next to spike and the driver started to say something. did i cut across his lane? did i ding his bumper? did i do any of the millions of things jay specifically told me not to do while driving.

apparently, i did none. it turned out that he found me cute and wanted to know my name and number, and he wanted to be friends.

smooth. real smooth.

Friday, February 20, 2004

picture rosa.
picture rosa with a huge smile on her face.
picture rosa with a huge smile on her face twirling around in happiness.

thanks dude.

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

birthday plans

the day i turned 24 i caught chicken pox.
the day after i turned 25 i broke up with someone.
the day i turned 26 i spent re-evaluating friendships because friends who were oh-so-very-important didn't show up.

god help me that my 27th birthday was going to be anything like the past three birthdays. so, i made a good friend promise to spend my birthday with me.

he didn't do just that, he's been sending messages about his plan almost every single day.

he wants a party. he wants it in antipolo. he wants all of my favorite bloggers there. he denies it's an eb. he denies it's a ploy to invite HIS favorite blogger.

it should be fun, he promised.

but i don't have cash, i said. beyond broke even. and who would come, i asked him.

he had a guest list ready. and yup, the guest list involved a few of my favorite people.

maybe it'll work. maybe not.

we'll see.

oh, and you're all invited.

Monday, February 16, 2004

valentine humbug

by 6 p.m. on friday the thirteenth, i've started to believe that the gods have been conspiring to make v-day swell for me. my half-month salary was in the bank, saturday morning teacher cancelled class, aunt became free the entire saturday to help me cook, and students have helped me put together everything i needed for the plan. i should've known better.

the plan, at best, was a disaster.

i got everything covered, that is except the venue. evidently, that was enough to tick him off. suffice to say, it ruined our valentine's day.

we fought when we both got in the car, we fought when we just decided to take separate cars and go to my house and have the picnic there, we fought when we got to my house, we fought when he left, we fought when he got home and it was three in the morning and couldn't figure out whether what we had was worth keeping.

we both woke up exhausted, yet still very mad at each other. we had awkward phone conversations throughout the entire day, not knowing whether the "i love you's" we say at the end of each call still meant anything. no angry words this time, no shouting, no tears, and yet everything was bubbling beneath the surface.

at ten in the evening, after a very uneasy dinner, we talked.

we're good for another round. no one's giving up on anyone, at least not yet.

so over the weekend, i've lost whatever idealism i had for valentine's day. yes, vanessa, it's a highly commercialized event aimed at helping flower shops rake in money. yes rey, too much planning sometimes leaves you more disappointed than happy. there is nothing right now that will make me even remotely look forward to it next year.

still. last night, as i was lying in my bed thinking of what could've been - a nasty break-up before my nego midterms - i realized that i've finally found the one my heart, mind, and soul loves. i've finally found the one who's not just there for the ride but someone who is willing to sit behind the wheel with me and determine our direction together. i've found not only a partner, but a good friend.

i don't know if this is the great love that gary keeps talking about. i don't know if this is my mad passionate love. i don't even know where we'd find ourselves next week, next month, or next year.

but i'm glad, because today, we still have each other.

Friday, February 13, 2004

it's friday the 13th and things are going swell
so far

i've been silent, i know. it's not that i've got nothing to say, cause honestly, i've got lots. things just haven't been going very well for me. in fact, if i may say so, things have been the dumps lately.

i've consired writing about my problems and ranting and hating people. i've thought of sending out pleas for help to people who i know would be glad to lend a hand. but somehow i've mellowed down. angst does not make for good writing. it just gives more people ammunition against you.

so you must know then that the prospect of friday the 13th wasn't something i was looking forward to. my mom, unsuperstitious person that she is, absolutely refuses to leave the house on a friday the 13th. i wouldn't go that far, especially with a day full of stuff to do, but the fear was there.

but who would've known that the day was going to turn out great.

swell, if i may say so myself.


cause i won a radio contest. yup, rosa the girl who sends SMS while driving and sings to 103.5 klite songs while in traffic finally put these two things together (just the klite and SMS, not the singing) and got something out of it.

dinner for two.
movie premiere tickets to something's gotta give.

now, it's all good, i tell you. it's all good.

Monday, February 09, 2004

no, we're not losers

we could've been both out to see the lights except all we had was each other's voices to keep us company.  but still, not bad for a saturday nightsaturday nights usually mean movies.

or dates.

or dinner and coffee with good friends.

or even your occasional drive off to somewhere.

except that this saturday wasn't. for the first time in weeks, i found myself on my way home at 8 p.m. no gas, no money, no nothing. not even a boyfriend to take up my time.

all i got was my brother at home and a date with the gamecube.

but surprises do come. and when they come, they make you smile, even on a lame saturday night.

i didn't recognize his voice when he called, probably cause i didn't expect him to remember my number. it led to a few seconds of him being perfectly content knowing i was at home and me feeling pretty disconcerted not knowing who was on the other end of the line. but then he said his name, and it made me smile. i said, wait, let me turn the game cube off.

we were both mutli-tasking, him tinkering with his pc and me fixing the clothes in my closet, but we had the most amazing of conversations. for a while there, it felt like the old times. we laughed, we insulted each other, we discussed other people, we shared stories, we asked favors ... if i didn't check the clock i wouldn't have known it was 2.

and then we had to say goodbye. i had to go to sleep, and he had to take a bath.

i know the time could've been spent doing something else. and i know that somehow, it felt like we were losers for not having anything better to do than do a marathon phone conversation on a saturday night.

but now, looking back, i know that there's nothing i would've loved to do more that saturday night than chat with him.

except maybe buying shoes.

or new clothes.

or a date with the boy.

but still. it's the thought that counts.

Thursday, February 05, 2004

what's up with google?

i love google.

i've loved google since i first read about it in asian wall street journal.

i use google for everything, including searching for my crushes on-line. in fact, the reason i got into blogging was i googled a crush's name and found it in one of the blogs i used to read regularly then i started doing it myself. moving on ...

i love it so much that it's been my homepage for a while now.

but JUST NOW i find out that you can't go to google with passing through first.

wow. first they tagalized sesame street. then it was a whole slew of shows, including 24.

now google.

are we taking over the world?
wish list

* a copy of the original lemmings for pc * *a "P" on my thesis* *camera case* *memory stick* *flowers* *hot pink addidas climacools* *books 5, 8, and 9 of the wheel of time series* *dvd player* *satc season 4 onwards dvds* *csi dvds* *3M scotchtint* *lazyboy* *inspector parker*

Wednesday, February 04, 2004


four things i love about you: your smile, your commitment to everything you do, your concern for everything i do, and your love.

four things that makes me want to turn this into forever: the way you love your family, the way you love god, that way you love your friends, and the way you love me.

four things that caught my eye when i first met you: the way you carried yourself, the way you stood when i arrived, your height, and how you listened to everything i said and filed it in your brain.

four things i hated about you after i first met you: you didn't even walk me to my car, you wanted to end the night so early, you didn't send the customary post meeting text, and you didn't call until two days later.

four things that made me want to date you again after hating you: your forwarded messages first thing in the morning that are really cheesy and stupid sometimes but makes me smile nonetheless, you calling in the middle of the day just to tell me you're stuck in traffic and you thought of me, you staying in manila two extra days to go on two dinner dates one after the other, and you keeping your hands to yourself the entire time.

four things i wish i could do for you: learn how to sit properly, learn how to drive carefully, learn how to walk gracefully, and learn how to keep my hands off junkfood and softdrinks.

four things that i promise you: to stay, to avoid quitting just cause things are rough, to quit nagging when i'm pissed or PMSing, and to sit still and be content.

happy fourth.

funny though how he'll never get to read this but it's all about him.

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

would you believe a horse costs almost as much as a brand-new accord?

i have a lovely picture and no post to go with it.
i have a lovely idea for a post and no picture to go with it.


Monday, February 02, 2004

too tired

i'm too tired to do anything.

i've seen more sunrises than i care to seeon any given day, that would be normal, heck, people even understand when i tell them i'm tired. they nod their heads, thinking most likely that i deserve to spend at least one day thinking about nothing in bed.

except that yesterday, finally presented with a copy of kill bill, a dvd player, and a comfortable lazy boy, i fell asleep.

yeah, even before i was done with chapter two i was asleep. my cousin, who has seen it before, kept poking me awake. i'd wake up to see uma thurman convince herself to wiggle her toes. the next scene i saw was her walking to the front seat and driving away.

i was that tired.

so, yes kit, i lied. when i said i went home at two it was a 2 a.m. that will always be 2 a.m. regardless of what time i got home.

except that you'd have to forgive me, i couldn't exactly remember what time it was.
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