brainnnnnnnnsssssssssss (PvZ style)

my brother rarely compliments me. if at all, the only thing he tells his friends about me is that i'm smart.

i can actually imagine his conversation with them.
friend: how's your ate like?
brother: she's smart.

it's pretty much like when someone's dating an un-pretty girl and your comment's like "oh, she's mabait." or "she's payat." in my case, "ate's smart."

so when my brother got stabbed and i met his college friends for the first time, they were like, "you're not ugly naman pala." i'm like "whatever gave you the idea that i was?" and they replied, "cause kit said you were smart."

uhm, so when did smart and cute become mutually exclusive?

anyway, i've always been okay with being smart, and i'd take smart over pretty on any given day. so when i got really yucky fat i'd excuse my refusal to diet by saying to people that dieting would make me dull, and stupid. or at least not as sharp as i'd like to become. just imagine how i felt when i flunked the bar on my first take -- now i'm fat AND stupid too? thank goodness for a take 2, and for better than expected grades (especially in commercial law, THAT was a surprise.). and thank goodness for bosses that somehow i can impress with my legal mumbo jumbo and friends that aren't lawyers (cause they're somehow impressed with my legal mumbo jumbo too, hahaha).

since sharon cuneta (my forever idol, hahaha) is allegedly losing weight, and since my boss came up with legal's biggest loser, and since i'm tired of being fat and want to be sexy (yes, not payat, not fit, but sexy. walang basagan ng trip) i said, okay, this will be the year i lose 50 lbs. yes, i'm all set to lose the equivalent of a pre-schooler.

i've stopped eating rice. i've almost stopped gorging on junkfood. and i'm finally doing something after work aside from going to the mall. the only side effect is that i think i'm getting slow in the head. you know how some people talk to me and i go around in circles never getting around to stating my point? or how i'm always staring off in space. my brain is slowly dying. it misses rice. it misses junk food. it misses all things fat and fried.

or it could be the bacteria spied by the xray last week that makes it necessary for me to get a root canal ASAP. i read somewhere that you should be scared if its a problem with your teeth, especially bacteria cause it's so near your brains and it could just like that easily creep up and make you stupid.

oooohhh. brainnnnnnnnnnsssssssss.

p.s. i just re-read this post and it has absolutely no point at all, further solidifying the fact that my brain is dead and dying.

p.p.s. the dead and dying line is something that i used to say to a friend when i'm so tired and couldn't make up legal mumbo jumbo anymore. she pointed out, you can't be dead and dying and the same time. she's right. but it's a line i love. dead and dying. dead and dying. pretty much like a zombie, yes?

p.p.p.s. i found a new blog i love. richie z's pickiest eater in the world. he loves bacon. he loves potatoes. he loves corn. i mean it's like he's me, but he's a man. and he writes in the most yummy way possible (is there such a thing?). what bad timing to find him as i'm attempting to lose the most weight i've ever attempted to lose in my entire life (not that i've actualy attempted in the past, hahaha) but on the other hand, it's nice to eat vicariously through him. i don't know though if i should attribute the friday banapple binge and the sunday tosh and mary grace cafe food trip to his reviews.

officially broke

if there's one thing about me that i'm proud of, it's that i am financially responsible. or i'm just stingy with money. or i watch my money like a hawk. which isn't saying much, since i do give in to shopping binges once in a while.

so let's revise that - let's just say i've always been good with money. i guess growing up with a mom like mine made me that way. it didn't matter that my parents had absolutely nothing when they got married: they were able to send us to good schools, i never had to miss an examination cause my tuition fee was unpaid, and my underwear and socks never "baconed". i had it good, i know. so while our family didn't vacation, and we didn't have lavish stuff at home, i was confident in the fact that i would be able to finish college and that i would never have to go hungry.

add to that the fact that from the time i graduated i always had a job (yep, even when i was reviewing for the bar) meant that i was able to sustain myself swimmingly well.

until now.

i thought i was good last year - i traveled, i got to buy the tv i've always wanted, and i bought stuff for the house. then the washing machine broke. and then i had to have the plumbing fixed.

and a whole lot of stuff i can't even remember now.

so while aircon's still pending -- yes, spike is literally HOT -- i have to set it aside once more as i received the bad news that i need a root canal.

and it costs 12k. yes, as much as it would cost to fix my car aircon. and i'm so afraid that the molar is so close to the brain that i am so going to have the root canal asap and push aircon repairs aside for the meantime.

i still have to figure out though where i'll find 12k lying around. i mean i have savings, but it's on time deposit since i wanted to set aside money for a rainy day. and i just forked over P6,300 for association dues (for this lot which i had to pay for in lieu of my real estate taxes which my brother *allegedly* advanced). sadness, right?

on a happy front, i might finally get my leave monetization from the court of appeals ... in a month, or two, or three. gah, here we go again.

heto ako, basang-basa sa ulan

and so began my weekend. i was wet, i was soaked to the bones, and i was frozen cold. and all i could do was to sing in my head, over and over again, the aegis song.

gah. so much for global warming, la nina, and crazy climates.

i got home late on friday, with the lingkod anniversary prayer meeting and fellowship after that. still, that did not stop me from attacking the lamp inside my room and spray painting in a flat white in the middle of my living/dining areas. yes, i know i should've done it outside, and yes, a sleep-deprived person won't exactly be the best person to do a full coverage in the middle of the night and yet those things did not deter me from doing my own little DIY project. i liked how it turned out, like, not love. it was okay, and let's just say that now, i'll be more confident in tweaking things up.

saturday, i woke up with the grim determination to fix my closet. why, i don't really know, but i started by hauling everything out of the two small closets in my bedroom and dumping everything on my bed. i didn't finish this job until sunday evening (i dumped everything in laundry baskets when i went to sleep saturday night) but the entire exercise made me realize that even after removing clothes i haven't really thought of in a while, and moving a whole lot of other clothes, jackets, and my suits to the master bedroom (where i used to put all my other clothes since they wouldn't fit in my bedroom closet anymore), i still have a sizable amount of clothes to wear. this just means one thing -- i shouldn't really go shopping for clothes for the next couple of months, or at least until i lose the weight i'm slowly but surely shedding off.

since my house has been "lingkod central" recently, my new AG had our meeting at home last saturday. i set the table which, oddly, impressed shy enough for her to say that she now loves my house. i'm really getting the hang of being a hostess ... and i'm loving it. i'm slowly accumulating serving stuff i like -- last weekend i bought several bowls since it turned out that the set i've been using at home has only four bowls -- enough for the members of my immediate family only! i really ought to make a trip to dapitan soon -- i want more bowls, and spoon rests, and other fancy shmancy party stuff. the two-tiered plate thing i previously got is sooooo useful, as well as the cake tray which, for some reason, has never held an actual cake yet (it has held brownies, a toffee nut loaf, and muffins, but not cake.) i've realized that the trick is to clean up immediately after the guests leave, or at least put everything back in its place, even if you mean to do the washing the morning after. it really keeps the clutter at bay, and i love it!

on a happy note, i've finally figured out why the swan (or is it goose?) neck faucet in the dirty kitchen hasn't been working properly. with my handy wrench, i dismantled the thing and learned that a lot of pipe shavings (from when they cut the pvc pipe i guess) and dirt (from who knows where) got stuck inside. once i cleaned the inside parts of the faucet, it began working fabulously well and so, no more need to do my bulk load of dishes outside! well, of course i still need to get the kitchen light working (hahaha) but for the meantime, a lamp (that used to be in the desk inside the master's bedroom) is doing quite a great job.

i'm thinking of really getting the laundry room (hehe) clean by this week -- maybe i can start tonight? it still has some of my readings from law school, as well as a whole lot of stuff. i'm thinking that if i didn't read them when i was being graded on what i learned from them, it's highly unlikely that i'll be reading them now, right?

so that was my weekend. how was yours?

meredith grey and me

back when grey's anatomy was new, my officemates and i assigned characters to each of ourselves. i was meredith grey, gay was christina, rache was izzy, raul was george, and lala was alex. we laughed at how each character, to a certain extent, seemed so appropriate to each one of us - like how gay could sometimes be afraid of intimacy, and how rache and raul were close to one another, and how gay, rache, raul, and i got along swimmingly well.

at some point in time i think all of us watched grey's anatomy (on dvds, hehehe) religiously, but now, i think i'm the only one still addicted to it.

anyway, i was nursing a bum stomach friday night when i remembered i still hadn't finished season 6 so i turned on the tv and dvd and started watching. there was this episode, i can't remember now which, where it struck me how hardcore these people were about being doctors and i couldn't help but feel bad over the fact that i'm not as hardcore as being a lawyer. i sent a text message to my boss/friend and i'm willing to be she thought i was drunk cause i was texting stuff in a semi-wailing state but i couldn't really get over how being a lawyer isn't my life; rather, it's just a job.

sigh.

is it midlife crisis?

is it career crisis?

or worse, could it be that i wasn't really meant to be what i am now?

oh, i hope not.

i've a hearing (yay!) on wednesday. it's a labor case -- something i absolutely love with a passion -- and hopefully being in the stinky and hot corridor over at PPSTA building, appearing before a labor arbiter, and pretending i'm hot sh*t will remind me why i studied for five years (evening class kasi) and and reviewed for the bar twice only to have the honorific atty appended to my name.

di bali na maging kambing ... basta payat na kambing

today's the first weigh in day of our biggest loser contest. i wish i could say i'm confident of winning the P500 SM GC up for grabs today, but i can't. every night, before going to sleep, i've snuck in a piece (or two!!!) of ferrero to keep me going.

you see, i've religiously been trying to cut down and, gasp, eat salads every single day.

salads are good. salads should be fun. salads should be happy. unfornately, salads make me feel like kambing.

but, as i've texted my friend, di bali na maging kambing, basta payat na kambing. still, i could only take so much greens, hence the major cheat ferrero that i try to eat as slowly as i can, nibbling that round piece of heaven a tiny bit at a time.

the biggest loser contest at work will be on till the 10th of March, a day before my officemates and i leave for dumaguete. my personal biggest loser will be on till the end of the year. if i get to my target weight, my boss has offered a free reign of her closet -- and that i can get every single piece of blouse/pants/dress that my little greedy heart desires. i've already one top in mind. maybe if i paste a picture of that on top of the ferrero box, i wouldn't be as tempted.

then again, i've a lunch at spiral tomorrow. and i'm hosting a party at my house tomorrow night. good luck to me come sunday, when real life strikes back and i am reminded that i've got to win that ipod shuffle. maybe tomorrow will just be my cheat day ... my major cheat day.

but until then, i've a salad for lunch ... and liempo. in my twisted diet universe, liempo is grilled and therefore a healthy alternative. hahaha.

edit: weigh in over ... i did lose the requisite two pounds, but anji lost more at three pounds. waaah. goodbye sm gc. next week it'll be lipstick and make-up brushes. todo na to.

major blooper

when i do my groceries, for some inexplicable reason, i get three of something. three cans of my favorite 555 sardines. three cans of my favorite whole corn kernel. three bags of chips (but not anymore!). as a matter of fact, just this morning, i bought three bags of various lettuce (bagong buhay!) from the farm girl who comes here every time the farm has excess produce.

when it comes to shoes, its usually horribly expensive to buy three of something. plus, who would want three of the same pair, right? but, i have this habit of buying two pairs in different colors when i can't pick between two. hence, one pink and one blue flowered ballet flats from robinsons a long time ago, one hot pink and one teal ballet flats from bayo, one black and one brown strappy sandals from i can't remember where, and one brown and one black round toe "sensible shoes" from aldo. it's an addiction, i tell you, an addiction i don't plan to get cured soon.

last week, three of us from the legal department headed off to trinoma cause i wanted something from landmark. my boss brought us to designer's boulevard to check out the shoes and, lo and behold, there it was -- uber lovely round-toe slingbacks from steve madden. i liked the bronze ones, but i liked the pewter ones too. so i bought both. as i said -- an addiction that will go untreated till the day i die.

the difficult thing though with having two of everything is the confusiong that comes, especially when you're up by 5 am and you're rushing like crazy to get to work on time. i grabbed the pair of shoes from my shoe cabinet in the dark and stuffed it inside my shoe bag before heading out of the house in my crocs. guess what greeted me when i opened my shoe bag when i got to work: one bronze shoe and one pewter shoe. i don't know whether to laugh or cry. here i am, feeling fabulous in one of my favorite dresses, hair blown out by the parlor so it's not fluffy or anything, face all made up (i've finally figured out how to quickly "do" my face without appearing like i'm covering a multitude of sins) only to be walking about in mismatched shoes.

then again, i can always say i couldn't decide which pair goes well with my outfit so i decided to wear both.

ooohhhh... what a major blooper, i tell you. and you know what's worse? the fact that i have to be all authoritative and what not in a work-related thing in ten minutes. gaaaah.

i just have to hope they won't check out my shoes. because right now, the choice is between my bronze/pewter heels and crocs ... and i don't think i can get away with crocs.

type A

last saturday, while i was at my community's leaders' retreat and planning, one of my leaders sent me this text message: tone down po ang pitch mg voice. para kang nasa korte attorney :) alalahanin mo, BL* pa rn yun kaharap mo :).

yesterday evening, immediately after we had our meeting for the anniversary, another leader sent this message: Hi rosa. gentle remindr. was not able to talk wd u aftr d miting. i knw kampante k sa relatnshp mo wd jc or i dnt knw if still mern pa rn ung inis mo sa kanya. nevrtheless, try to tone dwn a bit.

wow ... two messages of the same nature in one week.

there's a huge part of me that's discouraged, and an equally huge part of me that's chastised. i know myself to be a passionate, hard hitting person. maybe that's why i became a lawyer, and maybe that's why my former bosses said it was a shame that i chose to leave litigation and move to the corporate world. (maybe that's also why i'm still single but that's another matter altogether.)

i could gripe and say a whole lot of stuff about this matter, or i could be submissive and totally admit i was wrong (even if i were seething deep inside which might make me burst like a balloon and that's no good at all). so, instead, i'll just channel that line i got from this uber funny email i got from my boss: UMASAL LAMANG NANG AYON SA GANDA. (i should really post the text, cause its crazy funny, but blogger won't let me do it, and i've too many things to do to even begin to figure out how to do it). it said stuff that hit me the most, like how i don't have pretty underarms and i'm fat. that said, wala akong kaparapatang mag-taray.

quiet and gentle spirit, here i come.

edit: here's the link to the text of umasal lamang ayon sa ganda. enjoy reading.

*branch leader

yesterday's mini-miracle

you know i love shopping. and you know i love sm shopping even more. and when sm shopping becomes sm bargain shopping, well, i am in retail therapy heaven.

and yesterday, i was in retail therapy heaven.

a long time ago, i saw this amazing katsa (canvas) and chrome laundry hamper. it wasn't your usual katsa and chrome laundry hamper, though. it was the kind which would allow you to separate your whites, coloreds, and delicates. i wanted it sooooo much, except (1) it wasn't in my budget and (2) it won't exactly fit in my bathroom.

it looked something like this:

it was one of the few times in my life that i walked away from something i loved, but I knew i had to be practical.

and then water happened.

then my washing machine broke, forcing me to finally buy the automatic washing machine i've always wanted but wasn't possible without water happening. because the washing maching was more expensive than any other washing machine i've bought before, i stuffed it in the maid's bathroom, which i've begun calling "the laundry room".

yes, i'm pretending to be westernized and all that by having a laundry room instead of a maid's room. so fitting, especially since i don't have a maid to do the laundry which i'd have to do whether i wanted it or not.

anyway, with all the home improvement stuff i've been doing, the cleaning, getting rid of stuff, and organizing to make things pretty, i've realized that hey, i can now get the laundry hamper/sorter and put it in my laundry room!

and so began the search for the laundry hamper which, for some reason, wasn't in any of the sm branches i visited. and we all know how many sm branches i actually visit when i'm on the search for something i want.

yesterday, i found myself in sm southmall, fully decided to buy it. so i actually approached a sales person and asked for it. and, miracles of miracles, this sales person actually knew what i was talking about! not only that, he volunteered to call sm megamall when i said that it was where i spied the coveted laundry hamper/sorter.

so i waited, and i waited. i checked out the other stuff i wanted (but not available in the color i needed, boo) and surprise, surprise, he came back with the laundry hamper/sorter.

it was the last piece. i tried looking at the price tag from where i was and noted that there were "before" and "now" prices so i was happy with the fact that i was going to get it cheap. what i didn't know was that i was going to get it dirt cheap.

it used to be P899.95. then it was marked down to P699.95. what it didn't say on the sticker was that the lovely, lovely piece of laundry magic was now only P270. 80% off, baby!

then the cashier asked if she could check my points, maybe i'd want to use it. so i said okay. i had around 80+ points. so i used P70 and paid P200 for my laundry baby.

P200 ... that's about a cup of coffee at starbucks and a tiny pandesal. or a pedicure at a salon. or the a tooth of the zipper of an LV bag.

guess who went home as giddy as a cat?

lists

i am, by nature, a list maker.

back in college when everyone and their cousin had a tickles planner, i wrote down lists of things i wanted. i also made lists of things that made me happy. in a calendar i hung inside my dorm closet, i had a list of the clothes i wore for each particular day.

i make lists of goals, of plans, of things to do. i make lists of things i want, things i need, and things i wish my parents would get for me.

it's fun, especially when you get to cross off stuff from the list.

during one particularly boring meeting, i was writing lists as i was taking down the minutes. and then my boss saw my list, and commented, "OC!"

funny, anyone who's ever been to my house can attest to the fact that i am by no means an obsessive-compulsive person. then again, is it possible to be OC about one thing and not about other things? after all, i am the girl who bought a new phone because i wanted the excel file of my finances on hand at all times.

not-so-crazy, just financially responsible. haha.

anyway, i've a bazillion things of stuff i want to do later after work and when i get to town center, and it's making it difficult to concentrate on the stuff i have to write/review/research for work. so in the interest of unloading my brain, and for ready reference later, here's the list:

• check out Gourdo's
• do i want to buy new pillows from sleepcare? check budget. what budget?
• true value/ace --- btw --- i have to go to ace in southmall to complain about that thing i got the other day which broke immediately after installation. when? when? when?
• sale at plains and prints?
• buy chicken for kuya ef's party
• check bank balances
• ham? for salad. s&r? but no car
• random home stuff :) happiness!

okay, back to work.

K.E.

he who replies to all text messages.

he who answers calls of distress.

he who listens patiently and tries to resist saying i-told-you-so.

he who is a friend, brother, teacher, driver, mentor, and donor rolled into one.

he who does not age.

he who laughs at my jokes, drives me home, and lends me drill bits, the step ladder, and yaya ising all the time.

he who fed us steak on sunday night.

we will begrudge the day he decides to marry and leave us without his company. for now, we are thankful that he has deemed us worthy to be his friends.

may your prayers be answered.

may your dreams become reality.

may you find good health, peace of mind, and the desires of your heart.

and may we never fight as much as we did in 2010.

happy birthday, k.e.

you are loved.

forgive me spike for i have sinned

dear spike,

you know i love you. you know that we've been through thick and thin, through handsome boyfriends and fugly ones. you were there when i flunked the bar and when i passed the bar. you kept me company through every job interview, lugged my stuff home after i left the UP dorm system, my teaching job, my government job, and my law firm job. you brought me places near and far, and you don't mind when i make you fly (at least as much as you can fly) and sometimes ignore humps.

you, spike, are the best.

a month ago you shocked me when your aircon stopped being cold. and you shocked me more when the talyer said you might need P12,000 to get better. i took you to your version of asian hospital, you know for a second opinion, and they agreed. and, oh, they even said it might even cost me more, in the event there are maladies that they might have missed in their cursory inspection. plus it's going to take time -- like a week, if not more -- cause they'll have to order the parts and take the engine down (or something like that). so i promised, maybe after the break. after all, we do need to lug all my presents and what nots to QC for the holidays, right?

then bathroom repairs took over. you know, i may have bored my readers talking about my plumbing woes and leaky pipes. but you, oh you were the best. you just took me to ace hardware and wilcon builder's depot and my friend's hardware store without fail every single time i needed another elbow joint or epoxy or pvc pipe. we went around metro manila in aircon-less conditions, and your upholstery might have gotten ickier in the process, but you carried on. you're my steadfast little soldier, and i love you all the more for it.

after i said goodbye to the plumber last sunday, and promised myself i'll hold off all repairs until i get my next bonus, you probably thought, hey it'll be my turn. you probably had visions of being brought to the casa, getting your aircon fixed and repaired, and consequently, being able to spend more time with me since you'd be fully operational after the quick trip to the doctor.

that was the plan, really. it was sooooo the plan. until i told my officemates, hey, let's go to trinoma. you see, i saw some perfect ceramic stuff where i can store my kitchen sponges. at Php29.50 a pop, they'd only cost me Php59. no biggie, right? but then my boss brought us to designer boulevard, her personal shoe haven. and i flipped over this uber gorgeous steve madden round toe slingbacks to discover that the pair i wanted was on sale. on super happiness kind of sale. and then my officemate pointed out that it came in two other colors. i was able to resist the black pair (way too many black pairs of shoes, IMHO) but the bronze and pewter ones, ooohhhh, i was a goner.

i paced back and fort, pretending to think it over. but you must understand, these were shoes. shoes!!! you see, spike, before there was you, there was my love affair with shoes. i LOVE shoes. i used to make at least two trips (with a cart!!!) from my dorm room to the car just to bring out the shoes i've stashed beneath by dorm bed. i had shoes with me in my law school yearbook creative pic. i love you spike, but i guess i am addicted to shoes.

can you just imagine how pretty and confident i'd feel wearing them to work (as a matter of fact i'm feeling mighty pretty and confident right now)? so, i'm hoping you'd understand. i'm relying on the hope you'd understand. i'm so sure my love for you isn't unrequited. so inasmuch as i love you and have forgiven you for breaking down just when i needed you the most, i'm pretty sure you'd understand and forgive me too for breaking down and buying two pairs of shoes when i should've been setting aside money for your repairs.

and if you don't, well, so shoe me. (hahaha. i so have a sense of humor. tee-hee)

with much love,

rosa

happy new year everyone!

a very happy new year to everyone!

wishing you a prosperous new year, filled with happiness, good health, and a bazillion reasons to smile.

and Lord, thank you for your faithfulness in 2010 ... looking forward to what you have in store for me in 2011!!!