smile naman diyan

{part of my rainy stormy friday DVD loot}

to break the non-stop pity party that's been going on the past couple of days, let me just share how positively pirated my grey's anatomy season 7 dvd is. not only is katherine heigl still part of the cast list, worse, it has the cast of house pictured. ☺

thank goodness the dvd was problem-free. started friday night and finished the last episode tuesday evening. the next emotional roller coaster won't be till next year i suppose, as season 8 won't start till september. then again, i also got the house season 7 dvd (and, in case you're asking, i checked, and no grey's anatomy cast on the cover, ha!ha!) and since house and cuddy got together in season 6's cliffhanger, am not so sure the new season won't be emotionally gut-wrenching.

then again, there's the option of watching top chef just desserts and big bang season 4. at least there, it'll just be a toss up between getting horribly hungry or terribly nerdy. not bad, not bad at all.

thinking of sipping buko while digging my toes in the sand

{last photo of jackson wagner before it crashed}

maybe it started the day i got home and discovered that my hard drive had crashed. or maybe when i allowed myself a totally inappropriate crush. or maybe the day i got horribly disappointed about something at work. i can't really tell when, but i do know that i'm not the same girl who was blogging with so much gusto just a month ago.

maybe hormones are to blame (although i've always hated anyone who'd insinuate that my bad mood could be attributed to me having my period -- that's just an excuse, IMHO) or maybe i'm just tired. maybe it's cause i haven't really spent time with my true love, henry sy. i don't know. something's amiss, and i can't fix it for the life of me.

so now, as the title implies, i'm thinking of sipping buko while digging my toes in the sand. and i don't even like buko. tita celia has so generously offered to share her room at the shangri-la mactan when she goes there next month for a conference. and, while i initially said no since i have a cebu trip planned with theo and cathy (we were able to get piso fare tickets) that same month, i figured that no one in her right mind would turn down shangri-la mactan. so, i reconsidered and told tita celia i'd look for cheap tickets online and if i could find one, i'd go with her.

the cheapest i found were P2,000++ ... not bad, considering that in the span of six hours last sunday, i spent half of that for lunch, a pedicure, and a facial. so now i'm just waiting for tita celia's confirmation that the trip is a go, and once i get that go-signal, i'd buy my tickets (keeping my fingers crossed that pat the pilot will be able to get that flight as well ... it would be cool to actually see if he's as great a pilot as he claims) and start scrimping (translation: baon + no lakwatsa for july) and start thinking of, well, what else, sipping buko while digging my toes in sand.

it doesn't get happier than that.

closed for renovations

things haven't been hunky dory in rosa-land recently. i blame the weather, hormones, season 7 of grey's anatomy, and SM withdrawal, not necessarily in that order. in a perfect universe, the PMS-y attitude will go away once ... well, once THAT happens, but this is not a perfect universe. so i'm still grumpy, irritated, extremely short-tempered, and unhappy.

in any case, i've come up with a list of things that'll be imposed in MY life ... up until further notice. you see, i've figured that most of my heartache comes from disappointments, especially when things i'm passionate about just don't pan out (the way i want them ... yes, i am a control freak like that. or spoiled, depending on who's talking. haha!). so without further adieu (i began writing this at 9am thereabouts ... and look at the time now!), the LIST:

1. punctuality is overrated

last sunday, i texted a friend and that friend texted someone else and we ended up scheduling a late lunch together. since i was doing my grey's anatomy marathon, and since i had just loaded up the washing machine, i asked if we could meet up at 1:30pm. they told me to finish my washing later cause someone had to be at a 3pm meeting. so i said okay.

i ended up arriving at 1:10pm due to parking problems. one texted "five minutes" only to arrive 24 minutes later (yes, i am OC about time like that). another one -- no idea whether she was oblivious to the time or what not -- passed by mr. quickie first and arrived at around 1:30 already. no one apologized for being late.

waiting irritates me. waiting without knowing where the person i'm waiting for irritates me all the more. waiting and finding out later that the person was late cause she finished an episode of what she was watching and couldn't be bothered to be early irritates me the most. but, since irritation is the most i can feel for friends i love dearly (all was forgotten as soon as mushroom chicken mushroom was ordered and mozarella thingees were served), i've decided that (1) i will be uber late myself; or (2) i will automatically add half an hour to the appointed meeting time and only arrive then; or (3) i will shave off half an hour from the time i actually have to meet with them and arrive only at the actual time.

maybe this will save me from a lot of "wru?" text messages ... or maybe not.

2. passion is overrated

i am passionate about things. so while i don't cry when i watch movies and i don't feel bad for dismissed employees (pro employer all the way, ha! ha!), when things that i feel passionate about don't go the way i firmly believe they should go, i feel horrible.

horrible as in eat lots of chocolate horrible. as in "i will buy that even if i don't know what to do with it" horrible (hence the bazillions of pillowcases bought over the summer). as in you'll-be-sorry-you're-my-friend-cause-i'll-text-you-about-it-all-the-time horrible. so i felt bad when the HK vacation with my mom and brother got all messed up because they'd rather sleep in the hotel. and i felt bad when i believed management was doing a cop out decision over something. and i felt bad when people in community say okay lang yan when something could've been done better.

so beginning today, i will only be passionate about things that i can control. i can be passionate about keeping the dining table free from random junk. i can be passionate about changing the sheets weekly. i can be passionate about getting to be by 10pm so i get the requisite 7.5 hours of sleep. i will not be passionate about schedules and work-related stuff that are out of my control.

3. indifference is king

i once read that the opposite of love isn't hate but indifference. eventually, i realized it to be true, and i saw how the best way to make someone panic is to show the other person how little you actually care about the situation.

the past couple of months, i couldn't even begin to understand why some people around me could be so indifferent about stuff. they simply didn't care -- i'd discuss with them something that (at least to me) seemed so earth-shattering and they'd say, "ganun talaga dito." the first month, i was all like, "i want to be model employee" and i heard nothing from them except a sarcastic "good luck". worse, i'd see people mocking those who made a big deal out of these things. then it hit me: indifference isn't only the opposite of love, it was a coping mechanism. being indifferent meant they didn't care either way, so if it didn't pan out the way they wanted it to, well, at least, they didn't feel anything about it in the first place. how positively ... astute?

this morning, probably still a bundle of negative energy from all the upset-ness (no such word, but couldn't think of an apt one) of yesterday, i sent this text message to a good friend: i have decided that ... i'll make a checklist of stuff for myself and i'll stick with my checklist for now - no emotions first, no feelings, just pure unadulterated focus on what has to get done. i figured i sort of screw myself up cause i allow myself to be nice, sweet, and horribly invested in things - work, relationships, service. so no emotions first.

i'm not exactly sure how it'll turn out. but maybe, just maybe, i'll be less stressed come december.

p.s. and if the plan doesn't work, i'm hoping that at least the shangri-la mactan thing with tita celia pushes through. i sooooo need a couple of days of just doing nothing but basking in shangri-la goodness.

rejected

first things first: i am not a credit card girl. so, while my debit card gets a regular swiping, i am hardly prone to the devil-may-care shopping spree simply because i don't have a card i can charge it all to.

sadness, i know.

technically, though, i do have one. tita celia gave me an extension card where i can charge the stuff she asks me to get for her. and since the credit limit is infinitely more than what i'd actually spend in a month (wait, the credit limit is infinitely what i can actually afford to spend in a month, or a several months), i've been pretty happy with it. it's my credit card for emergencies, surprise purchases (like the insta-tv), and for when i find myself with no cash and no gas.

like last saturday. confidently, i whipped out the credit card and told the gas attendant, "full tank!" and, while the numbers were turning (at an alarming rate, mind you), i pretended to be relaxed. after all, i knew my card could easily cover it. now, whether i could pay for it was a different matter altogether.*

alas, my confidence was short-lived. as the attendant made his way towards me, i could see that he was about to ask the question that every credit card wielding person wanted to avoid, "do you have another card." and since i didn't have another card, i gave the requisite "try it again!"

they did, and it still refused to allow me to charge. thank goodness that they had express payment which meant that i didn't have to leave my phone or something like that to guarantee payment -- after all, i had on me was P300 and clearly, that wouldn't be enough to pay for the gas they had just put in my car.

the entire drive home i tried calling 89-100 to figure out what went wrong but 30 mins on hold later, i was nowhere near getting an answer (although i was about to exceed my globe limit, boo!). so while i'm technically on pins and needles out of excitement that my application for a BPI credit card seemed to have been approved already (details have appeared on my bpi express online account but card isn't with me yet) and the swiping that will take place soon, i'm beginning to think that me and my debit card won't be divorcing just yet.

*okay, lest i alarm my parents and the general public, i can. i am a responsible adult who has an excel file of her budget on her cellphone. it doesn't get any more OC than that. happy?
and, oh, i am sorry for being defensive about things like this. there have been times in the past that some people have not been too happy with the wit/humor/sarcasm/writing style and have actually called my attention to the fact that i may not be a very responsible person. so there -- a disclaimer. and an outright statement that i am responsible: i have savings, i spend well within my budget, i do not have debts, and i drive below the speed limit.

rainy days and dvds always make me sad

at 2:30 p.m., the announcement we've been waiting for finally came: it had rained enough for the president to give the go-signal to go home. so, after sending off one last email, consuming the sopas (i am in love with sopas more than FBv2* ... that's a fact) i had reserved for merienda, and dropping off tita mayu's printer (two weeks after i had promised to return it -- i am a rotten cow, i know!), i was finally on my way home.

well, more like on my way to a most important pit stop should i be spending the entire rainy weekend at home: ruins.

i'm not sure everyone can relate but anyone who (1) lives in the south and (2) is familiar with BF Homes topography would know the importance of ruins. ruins is the home of pirated dvds, faux bags, cheap thrills, and mixed cds. now that there's a robinson's beside it, ruins' importance (for me) increase a hundredfold. because ruins + robinson's means i can stock up on dvds + the all-too-important junkfood stash while watching dvds.

i got there a little before 5 (no, it did not take me 2.5 hours to get home. (1) i don't drive THAT slow and (2) my house isn't THAT far from QC, just really far) and it seemed like the entire south had the exact same idea. each stall i visited had one or two shoppers (i hate shopping in a dvd stall with plenty of customers ... i like looking for the "underdog" and purchasing my dvds from there. what can i say - i like the seller's undivided attention!) and it took a while before i found an empty stall where i can get my fix.

house season 7. grey's anatomy season 7. top chef just desserts. big bang theory season 4. and, since i begged the lady for a discount, i got the move "no strings attached" for free.

the minute i got home, i stuck the movie in the dvd and started watching (it was a great movie, btw. perfect for the-universe-is-so-perfect-that-impossible-things-will-happen dreamy-eyed people such as myself). after that, i got started on grey's anatomy.

and that's when i got in trouble.

let's backtrack a little: when grey's anatomy first came out, my friends from the court of appeals and i were all hooked. and we each appointed characters for ourselves. ironically, we all liked who we "were" in the show and it somehow coincided with our personalities. over the years, they stopped watching, but i continued buying dvds and watching entire seasons in one go. when i watched season 6, i ended up texting my boss (my boss!!! eeeep!) with existentialist questions like why am i not as passionate as these people are about my career. such a doofus moment, but considering that i was crying (and i never cry - just ask my friends) while typing out the text message, it came out more pathetic than anything.

so, imagine that it was cold and it was raining and i was alone and i was watching season 7 grey's anatomy ... bad, bad, bad combination.

i am proud to say though that i had held off texting my boss this time, but i did send a barrage of messages to gay about life, love, and what-nots when i continued my dvd marathon last night. now, i'm afraid to turn on the dvd and continue my marathon ... who knows what kind of thoughts an overcast sunday + episodes 8 onwards might bring.

then again, gay is just a text away. and so is my boss. i think they love me enough to put up with the drama.

*forbidden boy version 2 a.k.a. the new crush
** sorry for the liberal parenthetical remarks. i am just a wee bit chatty this sunday morning

random friday l♥ve

♥ this week was a bad week - had a major UTI attack that involved a lot of pain + blood, not-so-happy things at work, frustration about this and that. it really isn't something to write home about.

♥ tita mayu got a globe line with unli text and calls! yahoo. i have globe unlitext, and i'm more of a texter than a caller anyway, but this means that i can get in touch with her more about my mundane day-to-day existence once more. maybe this means it's truly time to give up my sun prepaid line.

♥ i'm blessed with good friends i can text with my incessant ranting and they'd reply with words full of wisdom and love. okay, some aren't as loving but they're still my friends anyway.

♥ it's been raining non-stop and there are times when i'm expecting to wake up in the middle of the night sopping wet cause my roof caved in from all the water. so far, i'm still dry though, but i guess i really have to start figuring out how to make more money.

♥ speaking of more money, i have this extra racket thing on the 9th, but no details yet, so i'm worried about that. i'm a sucker for details (if my things can't be in order, at least my life is) so i'll want those details soon!!!

♥ i've a mind to withdraw my savings and just buy stuff mindlessly, which is stupid i know.

i am my father's daughter

mothers and daughters share a special bond, no doubt about that. and probably my mom and i even moreso since my dad has spent a lifetime away from us. but, i look at myself in the mirror and i know, i am my father's daughter.

it's not just the looks. it's the fact that i can spend an entire day reading a good book and be fine with it. it's the fact that i love conversations and conversations with spirited debates. it's the fact that i love food and eating out and being adventurous.

i miss my dad. i miss those evenings when he'd wake me up so that i'd cook hotdog for him and spend time chatting about stuff. i miss his wisdom, his infinite patience, how he's a manly man who takes care of all of us.

my dad never really got the chance to be a hands-on father, but i never felt like i'd been abandoned. my dad sent me letters growing up, dispensing advice especially when i needed it the most. he was there for all of my graduations, came home the year i passed the bar, and showered me with all the love i needed growing up. on my first official date - grad ball! - he stayed up late waiting for me and gave my date a major grilling after he found out that the guy had chosen to go to la salle for college (he's an atenean!). and when he found out i was dating the wrong boy, he sent me a long letter to make me realize i was being stupid in thinking it would work.

and of course, let's not discount the fact that my dad is oh-so-updated -- he actually reads this blog! (and you know what, he's so cool that i don't actually mind that he knows stuff about me!)

i am blessed to be my father's daughter, and one day, i hope that my future daughter will be blessed to have a dad like mine.

things i learned this week

♥ when it's 2 am in the morning and you're on the verge of tears cause your pc won't boot, certain friends will commiserate with you. others wont. and some will give you stupid answers like "maybe the battery drained and you just need to plug it."

♥ you never really need the box of the thing you purchased until you've thrown it out and you realize you don't know whether it came with an installer disk that might solve all of your problems in an instant.

♥ an external hard drive is your friend.

♥ all those reminders to make a back-up? i should've used it as an opportunity to actually back-up.

♥ never postpone the chance to actually print the best pics from your most recent trip.

♥ a guy may be married and have kids and be a jerk and i'd still create fantasies about him. but trust the crush to die the moment i learn that he spent 7 years in college.

♥ i should quit lowering my standards and accept the fact that (1) i do want to end up with someone who went to UP-DLSU-Ateneo and (2) conversation matters. and oh, the non-use of text language when exchanging SMS is a MAJOR deal.

♥ as i posted yesterday, KFC is love. starbucks' cake pops is also love.

happy long weekend! i've a lecture later, a lunch with a friend on sunday, and planning on monday. not much in the way of a vacation, but it would be nice if i could do something that -- as a friend puts it -- is pampasaya ng kaluluwa.

KFC lang ang katapat ko

as you might very well know by now, i've been having a bad week. all recent sightings of forbidden boy v. 2 notwithstanding, my week has been beset by one issue after another.

and as if things couldn't get worse, my office PC's powercord died this morning. yes, a powercord that's barely a year old.

in any case, this week also brought one of the happiest things in the universe to me: a bucket of FREE kfc chicken.

let's backtrack, shall we?

monday, i think i was wallowing in the sheer number of stuff to be done, half of which i could barely make sense out of, i saw pam's tweet asking who wants a bucket of kfc chicken.

i immediately replied: me! me! me!

much to my surprise, she asked me to DM her my address. is a bucket of free KFC chicken actually going to make its way to me?

apparently yes. cause yesterday, it arrived. 8 pieces of chicken, four pieces of rice, four sidings, and a big bottle of coke.

now, the entire universe can gush about the chicken-all-you-can from max's, but this girl, i'm a KFC girl through and through. as a matter of fact, when my friends and i went to max's to actually do the chicken thing, i chose to order lumpia and potato salad instead. and while friendster is oh-so-passe, can i just say that the best testimonial anyone ever wrote about me there was that "i'm the best thing since KFC started giving out free gravy." ♥

so, bring on the four hours of sleep at night, a laptop that lost the past 1.5 years of my life, issues with certain people, and three board meetings. because free kfc came my way, i can do anything.

i always knew that one day i'd benefit from all that tweeting, ha! ha!

what the???

jackson wagner ... my beloved one-and-a-half year old laptop. my dad got me jackson wagner after i asked him to comment over laptop specs ... i guess he realized that ben (the former laptop) was too old to be truly functional so he got me a new one.

yes, i am loved.

we used jackson wagner last saturday. ironically, i was planning on bringing ben instead to "protect" jackson wagner from other people's hands, since i won't be the one operating the laptop. i am oddly possessive about my things -- i hate lending stuff so when i offer to lend you something, it means that (1) i trust you and (2) i love you (parang I.T.A.L.Y. lang ha!) but, i figured that i'm just being paranoid and selfish so i brought jackson wagner.

then i got home late saturday, pressed the power button, and boom - jackson wagner refused to boot.

it would get me as far as the background that's on the screen when you log-on to the pc and would just stop. no way to log in, no way to figure out what went wrong.

of course, i just had to call my forever guardian and savior mars (funny how when i texted my dad about it, he told me to ask mars to fix it for me!) and he tried his hand at it but jackson wagner refused to budge.

it was in a coma all right. maybe it felt bad cause i was so *inggit* with theo's new baby, monsoon (a lovely macbook pro), or maybe it thought it needed to get my attention. at 1 am sunday morning, it had my full attention, no question about it.

i think i must've texted bazillions of people about my predicament, and while most offered logical solutions, there was one text that threw me in for a loop:

baka naubusan lang ng battery. i-plug mo kaya.

i was so tempted to reply - ano akala mo sa akin, tanga? i mean, wouldn't i - or anyone for that matter - know the difference between a battery-dead laptop and a laptop that wouldn't boot? sigh, thank goodness for restraint.

in any case, jackson wagner's out to be repaired right now. hopefully, it involves some fairly minimal repairs and what-nots. the last time i back-up was march, so i'll truly be losing a lot of files if it were to be something major. i'm still mad, i'm majorly frustrated, and it was crazy heartbreaking not knowing what to do in the wee hours of sunday morning.

i'm hoping that the next time i post here, it'll be good news. keeping my fingers crossed.

here comes the rain again ...

... and i'm so in love with it.

rain means staying at home and listening to the wind outside my window.

rain means reading a great book until i fall asleep.

rain means a cold evening.

i'm just praying that people won't be terribly inconvenienced by the rain -- no flooding, no drowning, no one losing his home to this crazy wind.

botox is expensive

dear self,

please remember that ...

worry = wrinkled forehead = wrinkles = need for botox. as i said, botox is expensive (plus no one wants to look like a porcelain bust in real life.)

so please don't stress yourself over things at work ... they don't pay you enough to invest so much feeling into it. i mean, if you're spending even your free time on how to "fix" things, that isn't really good, especially since (1) you're not responsible for "fixing" stuff and (2) you've got other stuff to do (like understand the valuation process, haha!).

and please don't stress yourself over things at lingkod ... your standards are not their standards, and you're just making enemies wanting to elevate things to the next level.

do stress about stuff you can control, like the mess that's gathering at home once more, cebu plans, and the PDIC thing.

hugs,

me

*image from here.

five things to be happy about

yet another happy list (as inspired by my boss and this book)

one ...

{finding P300 in my travel wallet}

two ...

{my raincoat/trenchcoat bought on sale at an insanely cheap price}

three...

{betty crocker candles in cinnamon bun and cherry pie}

four ...

{freshly-popped popcorn with lotsa salt}

and, five...

{only one more load of laundry to go}

life isn't particularly good right now: a number of friends don't have jobs, my roof is leaking, and there are stuff at work that's making my heart sad. but this list is a reminder that no matter how bad things get, nothing's so horrible that god isn't on top of it.

it's easy to refuse a visit from the ex when you've got a project brewing

last saturday, i was finally able to set-up my pinterest account. and together with pinning away, i loved looking at other people's boards and getting more inspiration from them.

one of the boards i love - understandably - belongs to sherry of younghouselove. as i was going over her boards, i saw this:

{inspiration downloaded from here}

now, while i dabble in crafts here and there, i'm not exactly the type of person who'd create art (or some permutation thereof) to fill in a blank wall. i am comfortable with blank walls. blanks walls aren't scary. but then i saw this and was just inspired to fill the wall facing my bed with giant letters spelling out a lovely quote (and reminder to myself ☺). since we had just made lovely glitter letters spelling out my boss' name for a contest (see glitter letters here), i figured, i'd make this out of glitter letters.

since i couldn't get the image out of my mind, i made the pic my desktop wallpaper. but, as i looked at the picture more, i realized that the beauty of it came from the variety of papers used + the lack of uniformity and perfection, so i started gathering my supplies and started working on my own sign.

{leftover scrapbooking stuff. i don't scrapbook, but i love the supplies}

i didn't mind that it was nearing midnight already. i figured, if this thing didn't work out i would have (1) lost my scrapbooking supplies and (2) i'd have an excuse to buy glitters + cardboard + glue when i go out sunday and start all over again.

since i'd at least need a "guide" to determine the size of the letters, i cut out a famous amos box i had lying around and made a rectangle. my letters should more or less be this size.

it wasn't long before i got really busy. at some point, i realized the overhead light wasn't enough so i got a lamp to further illuminate my working space (a.k.a. my dining table)

{love that pair of scissors}

the first couple of letters were complicated ... not shape-wise (especially since the printed circle was the last piece of a notecard set that i particularly loved. the project was a nice way of "immortalizing" the notecard set.) but more like since i was getting the hang of working with letters again. prior to working on the glitter letters for my boss, the last time i made letters was way back in college when i was studying to become an elementary school teacher.

{first four letters, two of which i scrapped in the end}

an hour (or more ... much more -- i had lost track of time already) later, i had all the letters i needed. yards and yards of curling ribbon + stringing the letters in the proper order + fighting tired eyes, i had this:

{my version}

i had actually pulled it off. for some reason, the version i saw online still makes my heart flutter more (but i do love the fact i was able to do something close to it at least) but i figured, i could have the sign up for as long as i want, and i could take it down anytime without feeling bad since this was virtually zero investment on my part as i had in store everything i needed for the project.

and about that title, well, here's a little side story:

my ex lives a block away from my house but miraculously, we don't really bump into each other at all. while he'd call once in a while, i eventually changed all of my numbers so there was a year or so where he had zero ways of contacting me. one day, about a month an a half ago, i saw him as i was on my way home and he dropped by the house. he'd text every so often to ask if he could come over, and i'd say yes -- for reasons i don't even understand. all he'd do would be to (1) ask if i had food; (2) steal my mint chocolates; and (3) sleep on my couch. an hour or so later, he'd wake up, say goodbye, and i won't hear from him at all until the next time he feels like repeating the cycle. last night, he asked if he could come over. i was so engrossed in this project that i pretended that i told him i was about to sleep so he can't come over anymore.

hmmm... maybe the best way to rid myself of the impulse yes is to make more crafts?

family + the old house

{from L to R: Ninong Tony, Ninang Beth, Mama, Tita Ethel, Tita Del}*

tita ethel had tagged me in a pic, and when i scrolled over the other pics in the album, i couldn't help but smile when i chanced upon this picture of my mom with her siblings + sister-in-law. these were the good old days, when everyone in my family got along swimmingly well and when we stayed in the old house which i truly loved.

i don't even remember when this picture was taken (although i remember mama's shirt. i think it was one of her favorites!) but i'm amazed at how young, thin, and pretty my mom was (she still is, by the way!). she couldn't be older than i am now in this snapshot, and i'm wondering whether or not the person i am today would be friends with the young mother in this picture. probably not -- my mom and i, we're just too different.

that said, while i couldn't be any more dissimilar to my mom, i'd like to think i am my mother's daughter in a million of ways. i may not be rich but i'd like to think my finances are in order. i have an inordinate love for footwear (something my mom did nothing to curb, being a shoe lover herself) and have begun to appreciate beautiful things at home. and though i got accepted at both UP and ateneo, i decided to be an iskolar ng bayan to continue the legacy that my grandmother and my mom started. let's not forget my legs: my legs are my mom's (oh, how i wish i could've inherited legs from my dad's side of the family!).

i miss our old house. it was the house that i grew up in, and while i've lived in this house longer, i can't help but think of that one as home, and this one as the "new" house. maybe cause i had wonderful memories there -- memories of my 7th grade graduation party, my joint birthday party with kit, pretending to be bea lucero while hanging from the macopa tree, and my DIY swing made from rope and a rice sack. i can still remember how the house painters made my room caladryl pink (my peg was one of my favorite clips, and while it was cute at that size, multiplied a million times over, it was scary enough to make my dad comment on it every time he entered my room) and how i hated the white curtains that i inherited from my mom (my old room used to be the master's bedroom). save for the times my mom and i passed by the old house when we first moved here, i've never been back, and i haven't thought of going back. i still know how to get there but to actually try going, nope, not in the 9 years i've been driving.

maybe families + old homes are like that -- they're good in your mind, but are a bit tricky in real life.

*pic was downloaded from tita ethel's FB album.