Tuesday, March 30, 2010

say a little prayer for me

five years ago, i finally said goodbye to the UP College of Law. and, i said hello to unemployment.

ever since i graduated from college in 1998, i've never been without a job. even though i resigned from my short-lived stint as a pre-school teacher in mid-december and was actually prepared to be unemployed for a couple of months, i was lucky blessed enough to be offered a full scholarship for a master's degree in education, with a monthly stipend equal to my previous salary.

not bad, not bad at all.

then, a year and a half into my master's degree, a friend challenged me by asking me why i didn't take the UP law aptitude exam as originally planned. so i said, maybe i will. and i did. and i passed.

my parents weren't exactly into supporting me again as a full-time student, plus i couldn't get out of my contract with the school so i decided maybe i'll be a working student.

and so for five long years, i was a teacher by day and a student by night. it was tough, horrible at times, but it paid for stacks and stacks of photocopies. my dorm room, and my day-to-day expenses.

but then i had to resign to review for the bar, and so, right after finishing my degree, i tendered my resignation. since i wasn't exactly brilliant as a law student (i blame my working student status, hahaha), i had to figure out what to do after the bar.

it was then that i realized that while i enjoyed the thought of becoming a lawyer, i didn't exactly know what kind of lawyer i wanted to become. so, i jumped at the first available offer: the court of appeals.

the court of appeals wasn't bad. it was great. i loved the working hours, but more than that, i loved that i learned more while i was there than in the five years i was in the college of law. everything seemed so practical. all of a sudden, the difference between a petition for certiorari and an appeal by certiorari made sense. i also realized i loved labor even more.

then it got to be a bit tiring ... after a while, every day seemed to be a repeat of the day before. so i decided applying for a job in a law firm. i told myself, hey, i think i want to experience how a real lawyer feels like: to sign pleadings, to appear in court, to be called "attorney" ... and, call me crazy, but i wanted to be very busy too.

fast forward to today -- while i still get to enjoy the work i'm doing now, i think i'm up for another change. i've been asking my friends for advice, for help, for prayers. i don't know where i'm headed for. i don't even know what i want the future to bring. there's a general feeling of antsy-ness at the pit of my stomach, and i just hope that whatever the future brings, that it'll be something that'll make me smile when i think of the word "work" once more.

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