old crushes never die, they just get un-hot with age

when i was in second year law school, i fell in major like with this guy.

he was cool, he was smart, and he wrote poetry. and did i mention he also sang in a band? he was so fabulous in my eyes that my heart dropped when he asked if we could study for this one exam together (i hardly studied, i just oggled). and all the classes we had together? well, i swear my grades benefited big time: i studied like i hadn't studied in my life just so i won't be embarrassed during my recitations.

he graduated ahead of me, passed the bar, and that was that. we weren't exactly friends to begin with, and although i did bump into him once after that, his presence consisted of just random items on my news feed and the occasional comments on my entries. he was, to my mind, someone who has gone to that place where law graduates who have passed the bar go - to serious life and 12-hour days, non-stop hearings and pleadings, and family life.

and so when i bumped into him last friday at the mcle, and he plopped down beside me while muttering, "why the f*** do we have to bother with this stupidity" (or something like that), my first though was, my, my, how un-hot is he now? of course, i ought not to have cast the first stone especially that i wasn't exactly at the prime of fitness, but this was my law school hottie, the stuff that my under-bar dreams were filled of! he is not allowed, in my universe, to deteriorate as much as he did.

the first thing i did was to send out a text message to my friends complaining why, why, why, oh why, has he turned un-cute?

three hours later, i took back everything i texted and thought. because more than the eye candy he was, my law school crush was brain fodder. this was the guy who wrote a song mocking my love for brett michaels as we sat pretending to listen to labor law 2 (sorry, sir!). this was the guy who wrote for the kule and lugged around a compilation of short stories. and, lewd and crass as he was still, these were things that just fed the charming "brusko" guy that he was.

so fine if he wasn't as hot as he was in second year law school when he sauntered into class and into my consciousness? he's still every bit as witty as he was before and i am, i must admit, in major awe of this boy all over again.

p.s. a disclaimer: just a crush, people, just a crush.