if the ms. court of appeals contest were as simple and easy as selling tickets, i may not be feeling major pressure right now.

unfortunately, it isn't. for one, i have to contend with the fact that of all the contestants, i'm the only one without a discernible waistline. another thing, i walk like a man looking for a fight, complete with the swagger.

now put those images together with eyes that have a tendency to roll when bored and a smile that refuses to show itself in front of a crowd and you have an idea why this contest is slowly, but surely, killing me.

since the competition officially began last monday, i haven't exactly been the most prepared contestant. while everyone had their hair and make-up done to compliment their sexy sportswear, i was pretty flat in my look-ma-i-just-bothered-with-a-little-blush-and-some-gloss look and my very conservative golf attire. while everyone had lovely studio shots, i submitted a picture taken from my cameraphone. and, while everyone's out practicing their talents, i am still busy getting my act together: what gown to wear, where to go for hair and make-up, and deciding exactly what they mean when they say "casual wear".

goodness. i think the only thing i have ready are my shoes.

anyway, who knows? maybe i can win the damned thing with my wit and charm. or maybe the girdle will do its trick. maybe my "fans" will find a way to cheer their lungs out and the judges will give me full points for the "audience impact" portion.

whatever. at least at the end of the day, i can say i did my damned best.