all i want

it's so easy to say that all i want now is that very lovely fino bag in burgundy.

or those pink pair of enzo anglioni shoes.

or even my desk magically fixed.

but, really, all i want is him back. even with the "neglect" or with the bouts of jealousy or the very miserable six months when the relationship was sputtering its last, i want him back.

stupid.

yet another bag

for the last month or so, been salivating over this bag from fino. for some reason, i have this major addiction to fino products. i started with a wallet, then saved up for the planner, got a keychain on sale, now i want this bag.

i don't think i've ever wanted anything as much as i want this bag, although sadly, i cannot afford it. i also can't imagine spending that much on a bag, especially when my up law tuition (13 units, plus misc. fees, plus books) is just slightly more expensive than the bag.

i know i'm just awful about saving when i'm faced with bags and shoes and watches. i can walk away from a really nice pair of pants, or from a top, but when it comes to bags and shoes it takes more than your average effort to tear me away from them.

take this lovely lovely pair of pink shoes from nine west. i was awfully broke, in debt cause i borrowed the money i used to buy a pair of black mules, but i wanted it and i wasn't about to let it out of my sight, especially at 70% off.

i was only able to walk away from the store cause they didn't have it in my size.

of course, i went to the shangri-la branch and the town center branch to make sure they didn't have it there either.

and when i spied a close clone at via venetto, i tried it on too. good thing my feet looked awful in them.

because honestly, another pair of pink shoes would've the very thing to push me to buy that fino bag.

wow

couldn't post yesterday since blogger was "moving" my blog over to new blogger and all i can say now that i've seen the window where you type in your posts is wow.

* * *

small world

funny how you can immediately spot a frat newbie. was waiting for tax photocopies to be done yesterday when there was this nice looking boy (yeah, they're all boys now, with me in fourth year and them fresh straight from college) asked if he could pick up the cases of the head honcho and the former vice-head honcho.

ah. clearly, this boy was from frat-that-thou-shall-not-name-unless-i-want-them-to-find-out-i-have-a-blog.

he struck a conversation with me after i let out a little (it was so tiny it had to be personal but he just had to notice) laugh when i realized that yes, he was a newbie alright. found out who he was, what he was indeed doing was service, and that small-teeny-tiny-world, he was the blockmate of monday gal through jae who i met through pam who i met through ... long story.

the world just keeps getting smaller. all of a sudden, people who you think you'd know only online start becoming real people.

a third boob

i do not know what sleeping early does to me -- aside from preventing me to study -- but last night i dreamt that i had a third boob.

you read it right. nestled somewhere below the right one, a little towards the center was a significantly smaller but nonetheless distinct third boob.

it so freaked me out that i woke up frantically clutching that space right above my tummy. thankfully, not even a tiny pimple was in sight. it was nice, clean, and best of all, boob free.

five random things

1. traffic
it gets more and more unbearable each day. it used to take me an hour to commute from UP to work. now it also takes an hour to drive from UP to work. gosh. if they want to hack the trees along katipunan or just be good little environmentalists they better decide fast cause the traffic is just horrible.

2. hotmail
for some reason, hotmail refuses to have good emails for me (read: mail from people i love or at least like) whenever i check it on a regular basis (like daily) but trust it to have good stuff whenever i stay away from it even for a day. dang.

3. mona
much in the same way that i read the harry potter books only after the fourth one came out, or how i got started on the wheel of time series somewhere around book five, i must admit i'm pretty late in getting started on the mona-addiction. i love this one and this one and this one and this one ... oh stop it. the list just goes on and on and on ....

4. pmpj . . .
. . . is alive and looks great and is on the verge of proposing to his girlfriend. what is it with the friends i make and proposals? even he seems to be on the brink of one! if bestest ex beats me to a relationship that leads to a proposal i will enter a convent in baguio and make ube, strawberry jam, and peanut brittle.

5. the bets i make
i have two pending bets. both bets are there to make me a better person. if i win, i win. if i lose, i end up not only a loser but broke.

after a couple of million fights -- apparently due to the pms the period brought -- mars and i are on perfectly normal we're-such-good-friends-so-let's-not-ruin-this-by-making-a-wrong-move situtation. today we did the "normal happy couple" thing (although we're not anymore): stroll through the mall, lunch, errands, and a quick "goodbye" right before the buzz.

i came home with a pair of black high-heeled mules and contact lenses, he came home with a shirt and a couple of new pictures he had developed. we both had squid breath from the thing we picked up from the thai deli stand at the mall. we smiled a whole lot, talked a whole lot, and enjoyed the five hours we spent together.

now if only all non-relationships were as easy as that.

* * *

night out with bestest ex was, at best, ho-hum.

we talked and talked. we had awfully honest conversations and we walked an awful lot and he kept wincing as i drove from ortigas to makati. but in the end, i realized that he was that, an ex, and as the great scheme of things would have it, should be in that little hole in the wall where you stuff your ex-boyfriends.

back to regular programming

i never thought my internal plumbing would ever be okay, almost gave up hope and made the decision to have them just remove everything down there if they find yet another cyst growing in me.

but then after i got probed and poked and generally violated (a.k.a. ultrasound) i received the best news i've had in months.

i am fine. everything's normal. no growing cysts. no bleeding lining. no nothing.

just one happy left ovary enjoying its new lease on life.

* * *

so if you're a friend from real life, you can now claim a free lunch. it's on me.

because that news meant that i have been spared a very expensive poke in the stomach.

i think you're an onion

tried to sleep early for the first time this week. snuggled under layers of blankets with an old book and tried to make the most out of the fact that my roommate wasn't around yet to criticize me for sleeping so early when i had three deadlines looming over my head.

i was successful, for two hours at least. a little past eleven, i woke up to the sound of several hundreds, no, thousands of frogs croaking. they say frogs croak because they're in heat. if that were true, then there must've been one hell of an orgy outside my window last night.

anyway, i started texting a friend who seemed to have learned how to text a whole lot faster. since we had an easy conversation going on, i stood up from the bed and started studying in between message.

i digress. what has onion got to do with it?

well, i tried paying him a compliment by saying that he was an onion. he took offense, saying that onions are rough on the outside an quite smelly. told him doreen (fernandez) would agree with me when i say an onion is a pretty good thing: it can make you cry but the tears are worth it; you cook it long enough and it turns sweet; you can have it raw, half-cooked, cooked all the way through, breaded, ginisa, etc. etc. can you imagine a whole lot of dishes without the onion?

no, right?

no matter ho much i tried telling him how an onion is a good thing, he kept saying it wasn't. his last line (fell asleep so was unable to reply anymore) was, "no one wants to be an onion."

i do. and i'm betting there are a couple of people out there who'd want to be my onion cause you don't want the title.

no offense to ateneans but ...

IF I BECOME THE PRESIDENT OF THE PHILIPPINES, PAPASABUGIN KO ANG ATENEO

evil, i know. it's just that the traffic gets a little more awful every day. today i left UP a little bit earlier and got to work more than a little bit later.

and for those who know how i drive, no, it's not because i drive a little slower each day. in fact, i am proud to say that i now know how to use the fifth gear. ha ha.

bad idea pointed out though that with 18,000 students, UP may very well be the reason for the traffic. no, i don't think so. of the 18,000 students, only 1,500 have cars. and if it were true, how come it's CP Garcia and not the university avenue, or the academic oval, or the freshman walk for that matter, that's bumper-to-bumper?

i am convinced. it's the ateneo.

* * *

but since i love her blog, and his column, and idol and my dad happen to be alumni of ateneo, and i plan to send my future little boys to ateneo, i take back what i said.

miriam na lang ang papasabugin ko.

* * *

violent mood may be result of the period. the period is back. after a little more than five months in menopausal state, mentrual cramps are back with a vengance. now i have to make that call to the medicine girl and have myself injected again with evil hormones which will make me menopausal again.

it's not just that. according to the sheet of paper that the injection goes with, i will be experiencing weight gain, migraines, loss of bone mass, poor eyesight, and decrease libido.

*no comment*

* * *

the only light at the end of the otherwise bleak tunnel is that i might see bestest ex on saturday.

yep, vanessa, i saw bestest ex. nooninooninoo...

i can't don't believe this. really long post gone.

and to think that the post was about something FREAKY.

freaky. real freaky.

traffic sa ateneo! traffic sa miriam! traffic sa st. paul!

i love summers not only because it means i have two months free from the tedious life known as law school but also because it means no traffic.

gawd.

too much of csi makes rosa a happy girl

went home early thursday morning and made a declaration last friday morning that my brother won't be seeing me the entire weekend as i would be working on thesis and will be studying for my classes in UP.

well, no such luck. axn's csi marathon lured me big time. i was confident that tax teacher would not take up until twelve to tell us how he'll torture us for the entire semester. i had it all planned: drive home straight from class, and during commercial break, make a mad dash to the corner store to buy food to see me through the six hour marathon.

it worked!

and again, the same thing happened today. was hooked to the television for six straight hours, just rushing out -- endangering myself in the process -- to pick up shoes i had repaired. imagine: took the car out, made a mad dash to mr quickie four kms away, went back, and parked car... all in ten minutes!

anyway, it's late again and i have read only twenty pages of the hundred-page coverage for evidence tom.

oh me oh my.

recycle

since bestest ex made an appearnace, i never got to leave the first party for the night and make it to the second party where i'd be meeting the new guy. oh well.

the wonderful conversation plus a tentative date for next saturday makes it all worth it.

you're really cute and i want you to meet him

i've never really been big on female friends. chalk it up to the horrible experience of wasting more than half of a twenty-minute recess waiting for my friends outside the girls' cr as they brush their hair, powder their faces, and preen in general in front of the mirror along with two-thirds of the high school population of csa. girls are too difficult to deal with, if you ask me.

but then, as mark pointed out, if i really wanted to be a nice person (and no kidding, i really do want to be nice), the ultimate test will be to establish solid friendships with girls. in his oh-so-authoritative voice (not like he speaks in any other tone, but fine), he goes on about men are such easy creatures (as long as you're not dating them) and how women, are as tough to manage as metallic christmas wrappers.

so i'm trying. it's tough though listening to women talk about the loves of their lives, or dealing with a girl who just refuses to acknowledge that you're 26 and yes, you can manage your own car thank you very much. i still had difficulty seeing the good side of having a whole lot of women friends until a new friend uttered the magic words,

"you're really cute and i want you to meet him."

ha! apparently, the charm of having women friends is two-fold. first, they compliment you. they notice when you've finally mastered the art of putting blush on as if you're just blushing at the thought of something. they notice when you've done something really expensive to your hair. they know exactly how to cheer you up on that day when you're wearing your most lousy outfit. women can sense these things and they act on it, pronto.

second, they share. god forbid that your new male friend will introduce you to his other male friends. their simply too damn selfish for that. women on the other hand, know the value of passing on something that they have no use for anymore. that ex boyfriend who's really great and hot but simply not your match -- pass him on!

so there. if i do make it to this party tomorrow night, i'm going to make sure that i'm really cute and i finally get to meet him.

* * *

incidentally, there's a whole bunch of women out there who, like me, belongs to the 1/3 of the population who'd rather eat hot jamaican patties that preen in the washroom. and i'm really good friends with them.

a bad night for eating out

after the long drive from where i live to the dormitory, mars and i planned on finally getting that cajun chicken fingers we've both been craving for since 11 p.m. saturday evening. unfortunately, i left my towel at home which meant i had to drop by an aunt's house to borrow towels, which meant my grandma ordering pizza in honor of the fact that i was with mars that day, which meant no friday's dinner for me. phooey.

so yesterday, we planned on getting dinner after work for him and after law for me. i was excited as hell -- probably cause the last meal i had was a totally unsatisfying cafeteria corned beef at eleven. when we finally got there, well, friday's was packed so we decided to drive a little bit more and to take our pick between the places at the loop, dencio's, gerry's, or aresi. in the end, the thought of sisig and mango salad always wins out for me, so we decided that gerry's is it.

big mistake.

although i was really hungry, i don't really mind the long wait it takes for them to bring your sisig, as long as you can actually hear the sisig crackling due to the heat of the hot plate. no such thing last night. the sisig was warm -- i think they must have microwaved it to make it warm enough so that i won't complain. the mango salad came too late. the weirdest thing of all though was the baked tahong was swimming in this black semi-sweet sauce.

wtf?

* * *

aresi was really dark last night. did it close down?

wow. places i used to go to with the ex are starting to close down one by one.

minalas siguro.

7th semester

it's my seventh semester in law school and i don't know what to expect. oh, i'll know i'll be glad to see one teacher again, freaked by seeing another, totally at a loss as to why non-accountants will be forced to take not one but two courses on taxation (and be what, like that lawyer in the firm?), and excited at the prospect of using the notebooks and other school supplies my aunt brought home from the states.

imagine -- even with work and the neverending thesis -- i'm more than halfway through lawschool and the end is actually near. wow. never thought i'd get this far *bows to left, bows to right, bows straight ahead*

* * *

anyway, if you came here because you wanted to read about aubrey miles ...

yes, i love aubrey miles.
no, i am not a lesbian. i love my boys, thank you very much.
yes, i liked her even before she got really big.
yes, i have a vcd of prosti.
no, it's not pirated.
yes, i liked prosti.
yes, i also watched xerex.
no, i didn't like it. frankly, it sucked. the beach episode made me laugh though. the first episode had an ending that was ripped off from cruel intentions. the one with jon hall was a major disappointment.
yes, i am planning to watch sanib.

wait -- i said more about me than aubrey.

sorry. punta na lang kayo dito. amazing how a fifteen year old boy has channeled his raging hormones to something more productive.

cat fight! cat fight!

if you can call smashing a pitcher of beer against a person's head, plus hitting him with cue sticks, then major chair-throwing a cat fight, well i just witnessed one a while ago.

was happily playing billiards in pool shark. it was a busy night -- several kids (and i mean kids!) were out pretending they were adults, getting drunk, smoking a whole lot, and dancing to what could not be considered good music but passable, i suppose, for them. apparently, one bunch of guys were with --well, another guy, except that this guy was in a nice top and a really hot mini-skirt. guys on the next table kept saying bading, bakla, and i suppose all its other permutations. it was not long before there was major hitting and banging and throwing right in front of us.

everyone -- including me -- eventually ran out of the place.

of course, when it ended, everyone -- including me -- had a story to tell. the policeman who came over had the most kick-ass story, "kung dala ko lang armalite ko kanina, tinadtad ko sila nang bala." yeah yeah.

now i know why i want a digital camera

so so wanted to buy a digital camera last christmas, probably cause i had so much fun using the martian's 7650. but since i recently shelled out money for an original lancer glxi right side mirror (it was friday the 13th) and it was nice seeing money in my bank account, i decided to just stick to the nice nikon camera my mom left me.

five and a half months later, i finally had the christmas pictures developed. some were nice, some were so so so not worth the P7/picture price i paid. what would i give now to have that point, click, and ohmigodican'tbelieveilooklikeshitinthispicturesoiwilldeletethisasap features of digital cameras.

but no. will have to practice restraint for the next five or so years. yes. will practice restraint. no more unnecessary shopping. no more dinners out unless future love of my life is asking me out for a date. as i have proclaimed more than a million times -- monggo na lang ang kakaining ko pag lunch.

and maybe, just maybe, if i eat monggo, i will lose weight, then i will be voluptuous instead of chubby and i will finally not need to buy a digital camera cause i will look good no matter what.

back to school

went back to UP for the first time after i had placed the last dot on my last exam last semester. parking, as usual, was difficult. part of me wanted to run all the way to the secretary's office to find out whether i was one of the four casualties of PIL or one of those who simply didn't talk and make chicka with my CIVPRO teacher enough.

i made it... by a hairline. but yeah, i made it.

being human, my joy turned around quite soon enough. hmmm... why is my average quite low? did they make a mistake computing it?

no, they didn't. but still. grrr.

* * *

schedule is a bit better although my classmates might disagree. i was bummed to note during pre-enlistment that although our classes are from 6:00 to 7:30 only on weekdays, we're going to have to deal with two saturday classes (death to social life -- whatever's left of it, that is). but, when i checked again -- ha! -- they changed the schedule around so we have saturday afternoons off. yay! yay! yay!

playing tourist

in exchange for a place to stay plus dinner plus the grand tour of chicago, i offered a new friend these:

(1) isaw, fishballs, and other street delicacies in UP
(2) sisig at trellis
(3) a couple of hours at greenbelt 3 for the "sights" (he would absolutely need this as he has more than once said how chicago is a "dry" time for him)
(4) tapsilog at goodah

last night, i saw something that will absolutely make you feel like the absolute tourist. i am taking you here!