Monday, December 13, 2010

why does my life feel like lemony snicket's a series of unfortunate events?

over the weekend, the martian sent me a text message. he was worried over the status message i'd posted on facebook.

i can't exactly remember what it was, but i do know i used the word tragedy. because, truly, in my mind, i'm beset with a billion and one tiny tragedies these days.

it must've been effective cause yesterday, theonoski called (yes, called!) from halfway around the world asking me if i were okay and if there was something he could do.

both were apparently worried. i guess the rosa they knew was a far cry from the puddle of helplessness that posted that status message on facebook.

unfortunately, unless either of them could whip out a fabulous gown ala cinderalla's fairy godmothers in five minutes, there wasn't really anything they could do to help.

uhm, did you ask what gown? okay, here's the backstory.

a month ago, i finally got around to bringing the fabric my friend gave me to turn into a bridesmaid's gown to kamuning. i'm the ready-to-wear kind of girl, so i'm not exactly the person who had a list of gown makers in her cellphone waiting to be called. and then the gown is in gold, not exactly my favorite color, which meant that i wasn't really into bringing the fabric to some fabulous designer to whip into a gown for me. i wanted minimal expense, minimal worries, instant gown. hence, kamuning.

my friend and i settled on this lady who came recommended and who seemed professional enough. she took my measurements, looked at the cloth provided, and assured me that she could copy the gown i showed her a picture of. she likewise promised that it would be done in time for the wedding. so i gave her all the money i had in my wallet at that time -- P800 -- as deposit for the gown. we agreed that she'd call me when i can come over and fit the gown for the first time.

a week after i gave her the cloth and the deposit, she called me to confirm when the gown would be needed. i lied and said december 8. and then i asked, will it be done by then? and she said, yes.

so i waited. and i waited. and i waited some more. until it was december 6 and i sent her a text message asking when i could get the gown.

her reply should've sent a bazillion warning bells cause she was like, what gown? what color? what design? we exchanged several text messages, and she even called me once, cause she couldn't find/remember the gown that i was talking about. and then at around lunch time, she called and asked for my waistline.

more warning bells.

long story short, she assured me the gown would be ready. so i was calm. i said, i'd pick it up wednesday.

but then wednesday came and she called and claimed that she forgot i was going to pick it up and she'd left for the day to visit a client so can i pick it up the following day instead?

oh--kay .... warning bells, warning bells, warning bells. felt like i was inside the carillon.

thursday, she called again. she was going to be out, can she just deliver the gown to me. i said, bring it over to the office. but then she replied, uhm, i'll be late, like 8 pm. i'll bring it to your house.

my boss then said, ask her to bring it to my house. so i gave her my boss' address, and i waited, and waited, and waited for a text to arrive from my boss saying that the gown is there.

by 9pm, i couldn't wait any longer. so i texted modista again. 11 p.m. pa daw. i said, no, bring it over to the office tomorrow.

friday. it was the point of no return. this lady better deliver or i'd be dead. i texted first thing in the morning and she replied saying she got detained by a customer so she'd be a little late. by lunch time, she still wasn't around, so i texted again. she called and said, could i pick it up, she was busy.

i blew up. i demanded that she bring it ASAP cause it was her fault that everything was so delayed already. i confronted her by asking if she really had the gown ready cause it seemed as if she were stalling.

the gown finally arrived at 4 p.m. she basically handed it over to me and she ran away. without getting the balance of her payment.

that's the only good thing -- cause the gown was tiny. as in five inches too tiny. as in even if i did not eat for five days i still wouldn't fit inside the gown. as in i wouldn't fit in the gown even if i cut off my boobs.

long story short: i scoured baclaran for solutions. the following day, i was able to bribe a man into making an entirely new gown for me. i had to find tela and the closest available tela was a shade too light. i don't care. it would either be that or cut off a boob.

and we all know how expensive it is to cut off a boob. even more expensive than growing a boob.

i hope they'll just photoshop my dress to make it the same shade as the other bridesmaids. i hope no one will notice. i hope it'll be fine even if they notice. and if someone would ask me why my gown is a shade different, then i'll tell bore them with this story.

but wait -- where's the series of unfortunate events?
1. my faucet broke.
2. my pipes burst.
3. my key broke.
4. my car battery died.
5. my car aircon will cost me 12.5k.
6. my window is broken cause i had to break in when i left my house keys inside my car which was parked 33kms away.

a gold (gold!!!) gown being five inches too small being delivered five days before a wedding ... well, that just kills me.

2 said hello!:

trisha said...

Hay naku Rosa! next time naman if you need anything...message me on facebook so I could help. I know someone too who makes good gowns. its in front of Ateneo. :) next time do ask me ok? :)

Secateur said...

Moral of the story #1: Never get into a service agreement that's open ended. At the point of accepting the job, the service provider already knows all variables that would affect the job and should be able to commit to definite timeframes. Di pwede yung mga 'itetext ko na lang' crap.
Moral of the story #2: After warning sign #1, there's no need to wait for warning sign #2. Tutok na agad.
Moral of the story #3: If you can help it, never get any service outside of a 3 to 5-km radius, regardless of cost. The time & travel cost plus the anxiety will outweigh any savings you make.

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