this is what happens when you insist on dating the wrong boy

from day one, i've known it wouldn't work out: (1) he wasn't my type; (2) none of my friends like him (in fact, no one i knew who knew him too had anything nice to say about it); and (3) he was friends with the boy i had deemed (in the past) to be THE ONE. maybe i was really lonely, or maybe i'm totally materialistic and i actually get drawn by things such as the boy's lovely car. whatever. i dated him and what do you know, i actually end up brokenhearted.

the funny thing is that i was actually able to convince myself that there might have been something there. i went out of my way to justify things he did, or things he did not do. i was satisfied with inconsequential things he did for me, and actually went out of my way to do things for him, things i wouldn't do for anyone, like get out of bed, get dressed, and drive fifteen kilometers to "comfort" him after he resigned in a huff after having a tiff with his boss. i fell for the trap the millions of girls the world over fall for: maybe if i tried hard enough, i'd be able to change him into the man i want him to become.

of course, a girl (a SMART girl, i'd like to think so) can only take so much. i wish i could say i got out of it before it hurt me real bad but i didn't. at the end of the day, he made it clear that i made a mistake by breaking it off with him last may to do my discernment and that now, with everything that has happened to him, he's not ready for a commitment. of course, being a guy, he also made it clear that he wasn't ready for a commitment but he'd be happy if: (1) i could be there for him when he needs me to do stuff for him like pick up shirts at robinson's manila and bring them to where he is; (2) be all sweet and touchy-feely with him when he feels like it; and (3) allow him to pursue other women.

well, considering that he was a pretty horrible kisser (even if you factor out the bitterness and all that, i must say, he is, at best, a bad kisser, and i'm being kind when i say that), what have i got to say? HELL NO.

incidentally, notwithstanding yesterday's horrible non-date, i was able to salvage my day somewhat. last night, early morning really, i spent hours chatting with a friend. we declared ourselves best friends after we both discovered we like our corned beef "souped-up" with a little water but "broke up" soon after we realized that we like our tilapia cooked differently.