hello, philippines, mabuhay!

i'm back. seven days without television, seven days sleeping with strangers who eventually became friends. i left my camera at home, ergo, the pictureless post. right now, i'm also too tired to write about the trip in detail. but lest i forget, here's a bullet-point version of my week:

- we named the huge bag "alfred" because, when i was contemplating on using it, i described it as the bag that would fit "alfred" inside. the bag became so popular cause it was pretty huge for a week-long trip. it was so popular that people actually had their pictures taken next to him.

- i am renewed, spirtually and everything-else-wise.

- it was a huge hassle avoiding ex-amazing boy. it was even more of a hassle - and it made me want to kill him - when he basically grilled me as we were disembarking the plane who would pick me up from the airport. uhm, hello, last time i checked, you very clearly said you weren't ready for a commitment. and, last time i heard, you were hitting on every single person in a skirt at the nltc. so please, cut the interrogation please?

- and, by the way, let me just say i was stupid for calling him amazing boy in the first place.

- i stayed in a room with four other amazing sisters. we're all planning on meeting up in cebu next year.

- huge crush on tambol boy. huge crush in the manner of me running to the mall in the rain, getting horribly wet in the process, in order to buy a pretty party dress which he, in the end, did not appreciate. he didn't even say hi the entire evening. bummer.

- and since tambol boy lives in an entirely different geographical region and since i totally believe in the seven kilometer radius rule, my crush on tambol boy ended when the plane took off at tacloban.

- i so love living in the province. hmmmm... makapag-pa-assign kaya sa court of appeals cebu?

- i finally bought the crocs ballet flats cause they looked so cute on one girl during the conference. as in i got off the plane, got on a friend's car, dragged friend all the way to atc, and we bought crocs - at least, we bought crocs after i fed him dinner; i'm still nice that way.

- crocs are a bit small i think. will return tomorrow to get a bigger size.

- i was on the same plane as albert martinez. he was hot. hot and a bit too short. i actually mustered up the energy to have my picture taken next to him.

goodnight, y'all. i've got a million one things to do to catch up on all the stuff i left here in manila. but, if you know me that much, you'd know the first thing i'll be doing - mall to return shoe. hahaha.

greetings from ormoc villa hotel.

suffice to say, i survived my first domestice flight. it was a bit delayed *sigh* but it was uber fun nonetheless. we didn't have the normal games cause of bad weather but being with three other equally makulit people, we were able to make "games" for ourselves.

can't stay long - am just using a sister's laptop. but, before i go, i want to introduce you to the newest "man" in my life.

people, meet "alfred"

turns out i got intestinal/stomach flu the other day.

today's the first day that things are "normal", stomach-wise. i was finally able to venture out of the house (without fear, if you know what i mean). still, there must've been something about my general appearance which prompted my boss to comment, "you still look sick, rosa."

well, maybe it's cause there was something wrong with my right eye. at first i thought it was just a case of having some debris stuck on my contact lens. i kept trying to clean it until i finally gave up, resigned myself to an itchy right eye, and promised myself that i'd go home ASAP (no more passing by the robinson's three day sale for me) so that i could take off my contact lenses and rest my eye.

i did all that, except for some reason, my eye got redder. and the debris? well it still felt like it was there.

so, for the first time in years (except for the time when i had to be at the hospital for my brother), i ventured out of my house in glasses, the left part of which, if i may add, is held together by a piece of surgical tape. i got to lingkod, had my eye checked by my doctor friend there who immediately pronounced after lifting and pulling around my eye area (wrinkles!), yes, it's SORE EYES.

of course sore eyes easily means finally being able to wear with aplomb my new ginormous sunglasses. but since i cannot wear contacts while i'm nursing my bloodshot right eye, i'm stuck to wearing glasses. AND, since i'm off to ormoc via tacloban tomorrow afternoon, i'm going to have to find a way to go to the mall and get quickie glasses made so i don't have to meet the 349 other delegates of the ALNP-NLTC wearing my taped up glasses.

clearly, this week has been horrible, healthwise. hopefully, this one will be the end of it.

will try to post from ormoc.

see you in a week, everyone!

sick is a word i'm not familiar with. i'm the kid who would finish the year with perfect attendance, the kid who wasn't well-acquainted with the school nurse, and the employee who hardly misses a day of work. if i'm absent, it must be a huge deal.

yesterday evening, i met up with friends at starbucks madrigal. i had planned on getting something before meeting up with them but since i stayed at work and still had to pass by the house to get my gift for faith and the car, i arrived at starbucks very, very hungry. somehow, i managed to convince my friends to move to pancake house, pretty please, and accompany me while i had dinner.

i ordered MMC2 - a piece of pan chicken, spaghetti, garlic bread, a taco, and iced tea. i tried pacing myself by starting on the garlic bread, then onto the spaghetti. by the time i got to the chicken, my tummy felt weird, full but hungry at the same time. by the time i finished my meal, i was pouting. my stomach felt like it was full of gas but not food (which meant the dull "hunger throb" was still there) and my legs (for some unknown reason) felt "achy".

i left way ahead of the others (they went back to starbucks to meet up with other friends) thinking maybe i just need to make a trip to the bathroom (too much information, i know), but no deal. i tried sleeping early, hoping i'd burp throughout the night, and wake up feeling so much better. no such luck - i woke up at 2 am still with stomach issues and a fever.

horrible, horrible, horrible.

i woke up this morning still sick. sick, sick, sick. i messaged my boss and officemates informing them i'll be staying home. i had thought that maybe i could spend the morning in bed, wake up at around lunch time, and get started on the work i had brought home. i was hoping that my fever was just brought about by stress at work. unfortunately, here i am, the day almost over, and still feeling sick as ever. (but able to blog. apparently, blogging takes up very little energy.)

i'm hoping i'd be fine tomorrow. i'm tempted to stay at home because i'm afraid that if i do go to work, i'd get sick again and will be unable to go to ormoc next week. and we all know i can't miss ormoc, right?

wish me luck. my tummy has settled down but still has a dull empty feeling. my temperature isn't that high but my joints are in major pain. i don't have coughs and cold - weird huh - but i feel horrible all over. i don't know what's wrong with me. hopefully, it's just cause i ate bad barbecue the other day.

robert jordan is dead

okay, it's been a month since he passed away but i only found out now.

i also found out from reading his site that robert jordan was just a pen name.

my brother texted me and at first, i refused to believe him. he can't die, not when there's only one book to go in the series. his wife, harriet, has said one word to his fans: ONWARD. here's me, thirty minutes after finding out that he's passed away, saying, i'm sorry, but i can't. not yet.

i read the eye of the world when i was in my second semester, second year in college. i had taken up running for PE and although there wasn't any classes that day, i did my usual two rounds around the academic oval as "homework" for class. bad idea - i developed an allergic reaction to something, my face swelled to gigantic proportions, and as a result, was stuck inside my dorm room for the day. with no book to read, my roommate, who was into fantasy books big time, handed me her copy of book one of the wheel of time series.

it was a thick book, much thicker than the bestsellers i usually read. but by the second chapter, i was hooked. i had fallen in love with lan, had my guess as to who the dragon reborn was, and had pledged that one day, i will buy my own copy of the books.

a year after graduating from college, at one of national bookstore's annual sale, i bought six of the eight books that were available at that time. today, i have nine out of the eleven. plus the prequel.

throughout the years, i've met fans of the wheel of time, and it was funny cause you can't really tell whether a person might turn out to be a fan. one of my best friends from work, a teacher i apprenticed with, and another roommate, this time when i was in law school already. my mom emailed me once that she was in the house of a friend when she saw one of the kids with the book - it was instant bonding for them when she told the kid that her daughter reads robert jordan too.

there were times that i'd admit having loathed robert jordan. i especially hated books 7 and 8 (i don't think i finished either), and book ten was a major disappointment. but after spying book 11 with two weeks to go before my bar re-take, i found myself unable to resist buying it, and actually promised myself that i'll make time to read the book, piles and piles of reviewers notwithstanding. i actually did, and i loved it. it felt like robert jordan and i were okay again.

i remember when the prequel came out, and book ten was out too. i was still in law school, and i was broke. i wanted both, but couldn't afford either. i'd go to powerbooks to read a little at a time, much to the irritation of my then boyfriend. then one day, on our eigth month anniversary, i think, he handed me book 10. was it pity, or sheer thoughtfulness, i don't know. all that mattered was that now, i have my own copy of book ten.

last month i was spending time with myself when i realized it was day one of national bookstore's annual cut-price booksale. and there it was: the prequel, selling for P65 bucks only. i was so happy i think i sent a message to five different people in my phonebook. i loved it so much - right there and then, after finishing the last page, i prayed for more wheel of time books. i don't care if it never ended, i just wanted more.

but then, now that he's gone, there wouldn't be anymore. i'd never know if rand would go crazy, finally, and who he'd end up with. is moiraine still alive, somewhere? what'll happen to perrin and the people of two rivers? and mat ... you can't help but love mat. what about the white tower and egwene?

i don't know.

my cold-hearted self didn't shed a single tear when my uncle passed away. but today, i did.

thank you robert jordan for the hours of escape that you've given me. although not soon, i'll meet you in another world, and hopefully, you'll tell me how it all ended.

since irma invited me to be one of the NLTC delegates, i've tried my damn best not to be too excited. after i booked and paid for my ticket and asked my aunt if i could borrow her biggest maleta, i tried putting the thought of finally flying to a domestic location at the back of my mind and forgot all about the NLTC.

i "ignored" it so much that i didn't file my leave until last wednesday.

i "ignored" it so much that now, i'm trying to squeeze so many things in my schedule this coming week. of course, to make matters worse, i've been loaded with this horrible annulment of judgment case (horrible to begin with, and even more horrible since the lawyer came up with all of these weird arguments all of which have to be addressed. sometimes, the more "stupid" the lawyer is, the more "complicated" the case becomes. i just hate it) and there's not a single labor case submitted for decision (see, i can do labor cases in my sleep). and, oh, don't forget that there's a wedding i have to attend on thursday, laundry to do tomorrow, and water to be delivered, hopefully by tomorrow.

let's not even get into the packing that i need to get done. i think i need to buy board shorts, havaianas, and my kikay stuff. and, let's not forget glasses - right now, the only pair i have has medical tape holding it together.

i'm excited, no doubt about that. but right now, my major concern is to get through this week before flying off next saturday.

wish me luck!

this is what happens when you insist on dating the wrong boy

from day one, i've known it wouldn't work out: (1) he wasn't my type; (2) none of my friends like him (in fact, no one i knew who knew him too had anything nice to say about it); and (3) he was friends with the boy i had deemed (in the past) to be THE ONE. maybe i was really lonely, or maybe i'm totally materialistic and i actually get drawn by things such as the boy's lovely car. whatever. i dated him and what do you know, i actually end up brokenhearted.

the funny thing is that i was actually able to convince myself that there might have been something there. i went out of my way to justify things he did, or things he did not do. i was satisfied with inconsequential things he did for me, and actually went out of my way to do things for him, things i wouldn't do for anyone, like get out of bed, get dressed, and drive fifteen kilometers to "comfort" him after he resigned in a huff after having a tiff with his boss. i fell for the trap the millions of girls the world over fall for: maybe if i tried hard enough, i'd be able to change him into the man i want him to become.

of course, a girl (a SMART girl, i'd like to think so) can only take so much. i wish i could say i got out of it before it hurt me real bad but i didn't. at the end of the day, he made it clear that i made a mistake by breaking it off with him last may to do my discernment and that now, with everything that has happened to him, he's not ready for a commitment. of course, being a guy, he also made it clear that he wasn't ready for a commitment but he'd be happy if: (1) i could be there for him when he needs me to do stuff for him like pick up shirts at robinson's manila and bring them to where he is; (2) be all sweet and touchy-feely with him when he feels like it; and (3) allow him to pursue other women.

well, considering that he was a pretty horrible kisser (even if you factor out the bitterness and all that, i must say, he is, at best, a bad kisser, and i'm being kind when i say that), what have i got to say? HELL NO.

incidentally, notwithstanding yesterday's horrible non-date, i was able to salvage my day somewhat. last night, early morning really, i spent hours chatting with a friend. we declared ourselves best friends after we both discovered we like our corned beef "souped-up" with a little water but "broke up" soon after we realized that we like our tilapia cooked differently.

for a really good friend

i know you'll never get to read this, but let it never be said that i never wrote about you here.

sometimes, even someone as talkative as i am run out of words. as i was working this afternoon, this song played over my ipod and it struck me, this is exactly how i feel about you.

I'm trying to keep my feet on the ground.
I'm getting to like this feeling I've found.
I'm getting to love
The thought of having you around;
And I will never let you down.
- Never Let You Down, Verve Pipe

i'm a list person. ever since i read the book 43,000 things that make me happy, i've made a list for almost everything i can make a list for: things i want to buy, things that cheer me up, things that i need to accomplish, things i want in life.

and, while surfing a job online, i found this.

and, in true rosa fashion, i made my own list.

hopefully, i can achieve them all.