It's official. We're not on speaking terms.

"We" being me and ex-amazing boy who I befriended, notwithstanding all the nasty rumors that were circulating about him, the boy I sorta dated even though I wasn't really supposed to, the boy who - please judge me not - drives a car that I've wanted to buy since I first laid eyes on it four years ago.

It was Friday night and it was supposed to be an all-sisters activity at Lingkod. See, once in a while all the Metro Manila branches of Lingkod will have a get-together, brothers and sisters altogether or brothers only or sisters only. I've managed avoiding these activities entirely - I don't really know people from the other branches - until some of my friends have convinced me that I have to stop being anti-social and start meeting Lingkod people. So I did, and at the last one I attended, I met ex-amazing boy. Since we've stopped seeing each other, I thought, I'd avoid these again. But since I knew that it was going to be all-sisters, I made an appearance.

Bad move. Clearly, it was wrong of me to have been so smug so soon.

Cause at the end of it, while I was chatting with some sisters at the parking lot, I looked up and there he was. There he was and obviously ignoring me.

So what if the agreement not to date because of SOL was mutual and so what if at the back of my head, there was this nagging thought that he wasn’t right for me? What if there was some small (no. huge most likely) part of me that still pines for PLDT boy every single time I see him. What if he once texted me that his roll number was “prettier” than mine cause all of his numbers were “add” numbers (gasp.). I didn’t care. Clearly, this boy who wasn’t talking to me, this boy who mocked me for talking to him after I’ve started my SOL (we’re not supposed to be distracted, hence being apart and not seeing each other and everything else), this (grrrrr) evil ex-amazing person may not be seeing or talking to me but was willing to allow himself to be “distracted” by picking up the sisters of) his branch from the sisters' activity. And to think that lout once told me he hates having to ferry Lingkod sisters around.

It was enough to kill my self-esteem, drive me to bed depressed and despondent, and to spend an entire morning watching sex and the city - the end of season two and the beginning of season three where Carrie had just broken up with Big and was depressed, depressed, depressed. Watch Sex and the City and eat bar after bar of chocolate.

Anyway, I'd want nothing to do than stay inside and purge myself of my demons - or demon pertaining to ex-amazing boy - but I've got something with my AG. I don't want to go anymore but then again, 24 hours of women bonding, probably a whole lot of junk food and chocolates, and the possibility of doing a PCD song at videoke, who knows. Maybe THEY'LL be the one to force the demons out of me. Ex-amazing boy included.

(the picture has nothing to do with the post at all. but in the spirit of "moving on" and "making myself feel better about myself", on the off chance he actually finds this blog, i want him to realize what he's missing. on second thought, it's so presumptuous to think he'll miss me once he sees the picture. kapal ko talaga.)