today, the government gave us money. like any hot-blooded working girl my age, i wanted to spend the money at the mall.

i wanted crocs. crocs and a bag. i wanted pink crocs that looked like ballerina flats for when it rains. i reasoned out to myself that it'll save me oodles of money since my good shoes won't have to be ruined by the rain so long as i can always change into my crocs. i reasoned out so well that by the end of lunch, gay wanted crocs too.

i wanted this brown woven bag too. fake woven really. more like they stamped the woven pattern on the leather. anyway - i'm clearly getting ahead of myself - i've been seeing the bag on display for the longest time and i've always found it pretty and thought it was expensive until today. it actually only costs 587 bucks.

true to rosa form, i began imagining myself with the bag. and since the bag is huge, i imagined my crocs inside the bag. i imagined going to ormoc (of course i don't have a ticket yet) and having said bag slung on my shoulders. inside would be a bottle of water (to complete the jet setter look) and products, probably moisturizer and what not. i imagined coming home from boxing and there'd be gloves sticking out a bit and a gorgeous guy would ask me, so, you box?

i imagined so much i was only able to type two pages worth today. forget the fact that i had finished reading the records and doing research. clearly my mind was unable to do anything more than contemplate on my possible purchases.

then, again true to rosa form, by the time i was able to leave work and actually make my way back to the mall, i had talked myself out of the crocs (i wouldn't really get to use them) and the bag (too big, and it's not like i have space for it in my closet). what's sad though is that in my desire to forget all about said bag and crocs, i spent roughly the amount i would've spent for the bag at pancake house (uber comfort food, rosa style), national bookstore (uber comfort activity, rosa style), and the grocery (i needed cheetos. i couldn't get the bag, the least i can do is get junk food in my system).

on hindsight, i realized that i - and my diet - would've been better off had i just bought the bag. clearly all those calories were designed to make me forget bypassing the bag.

and you know what's the saddest part of it all? there's a possibility that when i pass by the store window again tomorrow, i'd feel the need to purchase the bag and i'd actually succumb to it.