who knew that a missed call on my phone would make me happier than moses? (of course i don't really know if moses were really happy, but must've been, right? he did part the red sea.)

see, i had dinner at a friend's house and i left my phone in the car. when i got back, i checked my phone and there it was: one missed call from the boy i love.

now, ever since that valentine non-date and ever since he's sort of stopped talking to me, i've deleted his number from my phone. i'm like that - i delete people's numbers either to (1) forget them or (2) stop getting in touch with them or initiating conversation which would, eventually, lead me to forget them. under the circumstances, it was perfect right? of course, i eventually learned the reason for his disappearance in my life and i've since learned that he considered talking to me about it but didn't but neither of these newly-discovered evidence led me to save his number in my phone again.

but then again, i did recognize his number, so, so much for deleting, right? anyway, i'm digressing.

when i saw his number on my phone screen, my overactive imagination rose to the occasion and came up with a million and one scenarios. for lack of material space and time here are a few:

1. he wanted to resume going out.
2. he wanted to apologize for disappearing. then he'll ask me out.
3.he realized he liked me. a lot. then he'll ask me out.
4. he realized he loved me. a lot. as much as i love him. maybe more. then he'll ask me out.

obviously, you get the drift - everything leads to him asking me out.

after i've gotten my voice to normal pitch and my heart stopped hyperventilating, i pressed call and his phone started ringing.

boy i love: rosa?
me: you called.
boy i love: i did?
me: yes. i got a missed call from you.
boy i love: must've pressed it by mistake.
me: (to self) NOOOOOOO!
me: (to him) oh.
boy i love: what time was this?
me: i didn't check.
boy i love: ok. take care going home.
me: (to self) aren't you going to ask me out at least?
me: (to him) you too. bye.
boy i love: bye.

gawd. how pathetic.

i sould've just texted him. or i should have ignored him altogether. if it were really important, he would've called again, right? and to think i had been so good at avoiding him for the last five months!

so i was happy for a grand total of two minutes. and the rest of the way home, i hit my head on the window over and over again at the thought that i was insanely stupid for having made a huge deal over nothing.