collect moments, not things

a long time ago, right after i sort of regretted picking the mini lin over the monogram, i told myself that i'll get myself a monogram speedy 35 when i turn 35.

that was last march. so far, i don't see any additional louis in my closet.

i did surprise myself by taking an almost impromptu trip to singapore. i hadn't really budgeted for it, and most of my good friends didn't even know about it. but when i'm tired or stressed or lost, i think of the weekend i spent walking around the city with my cousin, the sunday riding coasters with a friend, or the saturday night i met up again with a friend i used to spend hours talking to and i know in my heart that while a speedy 35 would look insanely amazing on my arm, not getting one isn't something that's going to haunt me on my death bed.

so last weekend i was able to go up mayon volcano. and while i didn't get to swim with the butandings, i did give it two tries. the money i spent could've gone towards renovating the master's bedroom + bath, but i had fun, got to know my friends a bit more, and chalked up another city on my list.

as someone living on a single income, and someone still trying to figure out what exactly it means to be an adult, there money that comes every payday can only be stretched so much. oh i won't deny how much i want to buy those platform pumps at payless, but for now, between the pumps i've been eyeing for more than a month now and treating my boss + secretary on account of my regularization, i think i'll opt for the latter for now.

experiences before things. yes, that's my motto for now. and maybe, just maybe, by the time i have extra money for those platform pumps, they'll be on sale :)

my lenten vacation

this year, instead of just doing our usual bisita iglesia, my tuloy friends and i decided to go on a full-fledged out of town trip and went to bicol. as is always the case when i travel with these guys, it was an amazing trip. bullet points:

* the less people, the more manageable the trip. four has always been our magic number.

* pick travel mates who aren't fussy, who share the same interest that you have, and who either take the lead or take a back seat. leave back in manila all those with opinions but never do anything but complain. they're an unnecessary waste of space, hahaha.

* snoring isn't a problem when all of you are crazy tired. everyone will just be dead to the world. and if someone complains about snoring, then leave that person back in manila next time, hahaha!

* if you have a tendency to overpack (like me!) bring a trolley. at least you don't have to carry it all on your back. and you don't have to wait for someone to carry it for you.

* on a 12-hour++ bus ride, sit beside a like-minded person. if you're madaldal, don't sit beside the person who'll be asleep way before the bus leaves alabang viaduct.

* and, oh, bring a pillow + blanket + wear sneakers with socks if you're the type who gets cold. no use giving yourself unnecessary woe when the bus gets deathly cold.

* all it takes is one companion with a dslr camera. your point-and-shoot will see less use than your phone with a data plan.

* research, research, research! and then when you're there, relax. your watch is only to make sure you don't miss your ride. everything else is one vacation time.

there's a rainbow always after the rain

you know how it's like. the day you get home late is the day you hear water magnificently flowing in your bathroom. you open the door and it's almost cartoon-like as water comes out to meet you. as you resign yourself to the fact that it'll take the good part of an hour to get rid of the water, not to mention take care of the damaged stuff, you just pray that the leak started late in the day so your water bill doesn't encroach on the other items on your budget.

the following morning you decide to do a load of laundry before going to work and an innocent spark - caused by the rat in your house eating through the extension cords - kills off two outlets. you're thankful -- better the outlets than the washing machine and the refrigerator both dying on you.

it's been like that for me, and with a workload that's threatening to bowl me over, a fever that won't "come out" cause of the flu shot that's probably battling with the virus, and a fight with a friend, i'm this close to shutting down and doing something stupid like blow my extra income on shoes.

then i get to work, open my email, and receive amazing news: the po has been signed and delivery date for "hans" is april 30. that's 32 days away. or sooner.

i'm hoping it's sooner. because sooner not only means there's a rainbow, but there's a pot of gold thrown in for good measure!

breaking up is hard to do

sometime in may 2003, i crashed the car i had been driving for barely six months. it was a 9-year-old car, and i had only recently brought it to baguio, so i don't know if it was the stress of that trip, or just cause i was driving too fast, but as i turned a bend, a pick-up truck whose bed was filled with long poles was there poised to to make a u-turn so i stepped on the brake, and the brake gave and i magnificently crashed to the pick-up truck.

and the long poles came <---this---> close to poking the windshield, and subsequently, poking me. let's just say i almost learned how a hotdog feels like.

since my parents have always believed that i will never learn how to drive, i thought that crashing the car would just cement their fears about my lack of eye-hand-feet coordination. but, wonder of wonders, instead of telling me to stop driving, they actually lent me enough money to buy a new car.

i thought i'd get an altis, or a city.

but in the end, i saw a jimny in the rain and wanted it, and i saw it again at ATC and thought, i really, really want this. so i ditched everyone's advice and got it instead.

people said (take your pick): i was stupid for buying a car with a low resale value, i was selfish for buying a car that could only seat four, i didn't know what i was doing when i got a tiny 4x4. but in the end, spike saw me through good and bad boyfriends, several weddings and my best friend's funeral, law school, and five jobs. we've been to cabanatuan, tagaytay, taal, subic, and more malls than i could count. i have had flat tires and dead batteries, minor accidents, and parking lot incidents. i finally learned how to park because spike -- nose first, back first, parallel parking, inside the garage, and the weirdest spaces.

i never envisioned a forever between me and spike (i'm realistic), but i never realized that our break-up would be so swift, so immediate, and so permanent.

goodbye, spike. trust me when i tell you that i loved more than all of them combined.

meatballs na lang ang kulang

i have a friend who, after dating this guy several times, was told by the guy that the reason why he felt he had to stop was that he felt like he was just "meatballs" to her "spaghetti" -- nice to have but really essential to make things complete.

after the requisite laughter at the end of the narration, my friend turned to me and said, "you're also like that -- your life is so complete, so put together already that any guy dating you would just feel like meatballs to your spaghetti."

now for someone who doesn't even like meatballs in her spaghetti, that was more than slightly distressing! does that mean i turn men off cause i've got it all figured out? do i have to revert to helpless status and pretend i can't do anything by myself? when i tell people i can change the bathroom sink's p-trap (and i really can!) and replace the double lock on my front door (pretty easy), am i in effect telling the universe that (1) i can handle it and (2) - gasp - i don't need a man?

i'd like to hope all my hard-earned handyman skills aren't turning men off. and if i am the "complete" package already then let it be just something to make the total package even more attractive. yes, for men i guess it's nice to feel needed. but at the end of the day, wouldn't they want someone who isn't a shadow of the person she could be but someone who is living out her full potential every single day?

considering i'm still single, maybe my "i'm a survivor" stance isn't really the most attractive thing in the world. but then again, my brother has repeatedly dated a host of simpering wusses. yes, they're there for a couple of months, basking is unaduleterated love. but at the end of the day, their little helpless worlds are shattered once he deems them too needy for his taste.

so i think i'll stay the way i am and wait for that wonderful man who wouldn't mind being meatballs to my spaghetti. because while my spaghetti's complete, meatballs would it even better.