Ghostwriter, bobbing
I told her that I plan to sue Henry Sy and his minions for making a shopaholic out of her.

She, the would-be plaintiff, and probably a hostile one (there's no such hostile plaintiff, is there?), laughed at the idea.

If there were landmark cases of people suing monolith tobacco companies for causing the death of lung cancer-stricken loved ones, why not one for making her close to penniless most of the time?

And if we win the civil case, I would donate half the proceeds to Tahanang Walang Hagdan just to piss her off. Go figure.

Blame it on the strategically planned mallwide sales in SM that paralyze not only traffic in EDSA, but also her aged sense of reason. SM's events bastardize her concept of moderation and push her to think that she needs more shoes, bags and days to worry because she's broke again.

For a while I was happy being educated that a flat isn't only a place of residence, that pumps are not only associated with mechanical things, and that camel isn't only an animal that spits. But when even casual story-telling was often interrupted by name-dropping Blahnik and Choos, I knew it was getting out of hand.

To tell her that shoe collection is neither a contest nor a career requires the rolling up of my sleeves. She will argue, like she has been cockily trained to do in Malcolm. She will only allow me to block her defense thrice. After that, she will let out a curt, "I hate you."

But let this be a light bulb in our friendship that has contended with time difference.

Today, I braved the snow fall and drew your name on the ground. Just when you think your other friends and exes have done it all to surprise you, give me a lil credit for this single act of childishness.



I bet no one has ever done that... yet.

* * *
ROX: What are you doing online? Shouldn't you be in the gym?
ME: Am watching free toons. =)
ROX: Ahahaha. You're cute. Do you want to chat?
ME: Ahm. Hmm... sleep na.
ROX: Are you sure? Funny I can't open both eyes at the same time. Masyadong maliwanag.
ME: Ahm. I'm reconsidering the trip to the gym because the flurries are here.
ROX: Stay at home.
ME: I love flurries. I open my mouth and they just fall right in.
ROX: Ahahaha. That's cute. Very cute.

Yesterday I told her that I plan to subscribe to Giant Magazine. I picked up its November issue while I was at the Saturn dealer, where my car had a scheduled change oil. And I fell in love with its wit and humor. Giant also has tame FHM-material pics, so I can just leave it anywhere when my parents come over to visit.

Just when I thought she would approve of it, she uttered something totally unexpected. I wasn't even able to dodge.

"Wala ka nang balak umuwi, 'no?" she asked. Sadly.

I was speechless so I made a director's exit. (READ: When a crucial ad lib can't be found, cue in a commercial.)