Wednesday, April 14, 2010

women asking out men

it was late saturday (or was it sunday already) and my friends and i were trying to stay awake while at a friend's dad's wake when the conversation steered towards women asking men out. now, being the *demure* dalagang pilipina we ought to be, the overwhelming answer from the girls was a resounding NOOOOOOOOOOO. after all, didn't the rules teach us we had to play hard to get? and weren't we raised to be chased and to allow the menfolk to do all the hunting?

then the guys asked, "what if you hit it off?" followed by "and what if it's just for coffee?"

hmmm... i thought to myself, so coffee is different now? is asking someone out for coffee not the same as actually asking someone out for a real date?

the question came back to me once more yesterday when, the girl beside me in the fx, called up someone and asked the other person on the line out for coffee. and (i presume) when the guy sort of balked at the idea, the girl went on to get *fake* pissed, saying, how she'll be hard to get from now on and that she's un-inviting him for coffee. (in case you're interested, the conversation went on and on and on, and that early morning coffee extended to her asking the other person on the line out for lunch at world chicken which, apparently, he was supposed to pay for)

have i asked anyone out for coffee? i guess so. i usually old friends to go out for coffee -- and that actually translates to i-want-to-chat-with-you-to-catch-up. sometimes, i go for coffee with clients which translates to we-need-to-talk-some-more-about-this-matter. sometimes, coffee means let's-meet-there-so-i-can-sit-while-waiting-for-you. and, those five or so months i studied for the bar, coffee meant i-need-to-study-and-going-home-will-just-mean-sleeping. but coffee as a means to i'm-not-asking-you-out-but-i-wan't-to-go-out-with-you ... i don't think so.

i'm 33 and admittedly, there are days when i'm in major panic over the fact that at my age, my mom was already attending PTA meetings at CSA. i'm scared whenever i watch discovery health and i keep hearing how any pregnancy over 35 is considered high risk. i never imagined myself to be this age, single and alone. does this mean that i should, as that girl in the fx did (and she was considerably younger than me), start asking men out for coffee?

3 said hello!:

The Gasoline Dude said...

I guess it's OK, but should not be like oh-shit-i-super-like-this-guy-i-wanna-marry-him-someday-so-i-would-ask-him-for-coffee kind of approach 'coz that would create so much pressure, stress, and expectations. Asking for it should be as natural as possible. (Don't ask me how I dunno as it should just come out naturally.) LOL

roxy said...


speaking from experience ba yan?

Lauren said...

I've always been one to chase guys and ask them out first. It's always worked out for me. If I weren't the chaser type, I bet my boyfriend and I would still be in that pakipot dating stage. Asking out guys is pretty easy, just act casual and ask if they're free to hang out sometime. Unlike girls, they don't really read in between the lines, so a guy won't make a very big deal out of it. :) Hope this helps!

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