Monday, July 20, 2009

one week down, another week to go

my brother calls it our very own version of pinoy big brother, but for any lingkod member, being chosen to be a member of a household is something that's highly anticipated. imagine living together in one house, doing almost everything together, and still functioning the way you do in normal life (go to work, fulfill your duties to your family, etc) is something - according to them - that must be experienced by any committed member.

i must admit that while i was excited to be invited to be a part of the household two years ago, it didn't push through due to logistical problems. they asked me to be part of it again this year and while i readily said yes in the beginning, my heart wasn't into it. as the start day drew nearer, i dreaded it so much i nearly had a fever thinking of how horrible it was going to be.

how are 9 women going to get ready to leave by 630 in the morning?

will i be able to sleep well and fucntion normally at work?

will i like them as much if i spend all that time with them as opposed to weekly prayer meetings only?

will i enjoy it or will i just have to pretend to enjoy it?

and, with all of these "petty" concerns, will i be truly able to find God without being distracted by all these?

let's just i was stupid. i've forgotten one of my favorite verses: "trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy path."

by saturday, i was so sleep deprived that all i was looking forward to was falling into bed and not stirring until the following morning. i did do that, but not after sending a text message to the 8 other sisters in my household telling them how going to bed isn't the same without the multitude of goodnights, the chattering that slows down to a murmur until the last soul falls asleep, and the night prayers where the "chanting" has become quite controversial already.

god has answered all of my issues in the first week. how will all of us take a bath? well, some of us have to shower at a sister's apartment a couple of doors away. will i be able to sleep and function normally? well, that's what weekends are for - to recharge. and thank goodness for a slightly less heavy workload. will i like them? well, no, but i LOVE them to bits! i got to be with the greatest sisters (not to mention the best cooks). will i enjoy it? most definitely.

and as for the last question - God has his way of finding my heart. no matter how much i hide it under a bushel-ful of sin, underneath pride and fake wisdom, and my type-a personality. God knows me by name, knows every bit of me, and as such, he also knows how to get through me the best possible way.

only one week to go. now, i'm wishing the experience were longer.

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