would you trust a lawyer wearing silver shoes with tiny balls?

yesterday i bought new shoes. call it the result of putting up on sale 25 pairs of shoes from your collection. all of a sudden, my shoe closet seemed so empty and in dire need of something to perk it up.

enter lovely silver shoes with silver balls and black grossgrain ribbon. factor in the fact that i saw them last saturday in alabang but they didn't have it in my size. add to that the fact that i saw them yesterday in megamall. think of a long, hard, difficult day writing a complicated pleading. now, wouldn't you also agree i deserve a new pair of shoes?

now, being the impatient person i am, i absoluted had to wear them today.

and so i did.

except that i forgot that one of the partners is taking me with him to a client meeting at two. i asked him yesterday if i should wear a suit and he said my normal clothes are fine. i just hope this also means that my sort of normal silver shoes with tiny silver balls are fine.

i sent a text message to my friends earlier asking if they'd trust a lawyer wearing silver shoes. my favorite reply came from rashel who said something like (i hate myself for clearing my inbox on my way to work) "well at least i know i can trust her fashion advice too."

well, i'll know later if my shiny shoes make the mark. for now, i'll just satisfy myself with the thought that no matter how tough a day i have ahead, my feet, at least, have begun celebrating the holidays

hello, weekend, here i come

i don't think i've looked forward to a weekend as much as i'm looking forward to this weekend.

and it's not even because there's something to look forward to. as a matter of fact, no weddings, no parties, no dates, no nothing. no pending laundry, even.

a weekend clear and free. a weekend to bond with my bed. a weekend all to myself.

well, a couple of weeks ago, it was that. then came a friend's bridal shower. not bad, i told myself. it's a bridal shower which was for its theme "last night out as a single girl" so it's bound to be fun. so i penned it in my calendar.

then a couple of friends wanted to do a yard sale and since i have to get rid of a LOT of junk at home, i said yes so i'm fixing those things this weekend too.

then there's the center visits which we could only fit in this sunday.

then there's my boss telling me, euphemistically, to get some weekend reading done. translation: take home work because you've been here three months already and you're still not a pleading machine so you have to do other stuff this weekend so that your weekdays will be devoted to writing pleadings.

and so, before i knew it, my happy weekend, my weekend with nothing else to do, my supposedly sacred weekend, has become like any other weekend: filled to the brim, with work to boot.

*sigh*

but there's a silver lining on every cloud and you know what's on mine? a number, really:
(1) while there's the party, it's also a party with really good friends, and who doesn't want to party with really good friends, right?
(2) yard sale means getting rid of stuff that's cluttering up my home PLUS making money. again, not a bad proposition.
(3) and center visits will be with the thursday people which means its bound to be fun anyway.
(4) and work, well, work pays for the bills and eventually, will pay for the life i want to live so live with take home work now, have a happy future.

so, i'm good.

the weekend may not be exactly as i've envisioned it but all it takes is a change of perspective and we're all good, again

i am tired

no. tired doesn't even begin to cover it.

exhausted probably.

but i think what captures it best is i-am-so-tired-i-fell-asleep-in-the-middle-of-a-conversation-and-not-only-that-i-lost-something-on-my-desk-and-i-don't-even-know-where-to-start-looking-for-it-and-i-am-more-stressed-because-of-it-and-oh-i-keep-forgetting-stuff-and-almost-forget-my-best-friend's-birthday-and-actually-forgot-gary-and-rosan's-birthdays-last-week kind of tired.

i thought that after finally filing this monstrosity of a position paper yesterday, i'd be done. but stuff just keeps on piling on my desk i've got a couple of pleadings to go, hearings to attend, and clients to update.

so if i've been out of it, forgive me. like me skipping out on last monday's ag (did you guys save some macaroni soup for me?). or like me not being my usual happy self. or me even sleeping on you in the middle of your (i'm sure it was) very engaging story.

still, i am thankful for people who show some, no a LOT, of love.
- old officemate who tells me upfront i forgot her birthday and will i greet her please (and didn't make a big deal out of it.)
- ag-mates who say it's ok i'm missing an activity and pray that i finish my work soon
- new friend who shows up with not one but TWO boxes of pastel from cagayan de oro
- best friend who, in spite of me telling him not to anymore but does anyway, brings me two krispy kreme donuts
- new officemate who stays with me until my eyes are ready to fall off my head and doesn't make a big deal out of it

last sunday i told pazi and shy that i missed my past life. i think i might have told annsley the same thing last monday. i missed my stress-free mornings, my RWM five steps away and ready to dispense spiritual (and otherwise) advice when my spirit is worn out. i missed walking around the mall with no destination in mind.

mahihimasmasan ka din, i told myself. when all this is done and over with, you'd be back to that part of you that prayed for this new life, that part of you that felt the rush and exhiliration of signing your first pleading. that part of you that almost teared up when you first entered an appearance in court.

i've still got loads of work to do. i still don't know how i'll manage. but this morning, i woke up and found myself smiling still.

this is the life i prayed for, the life i chose, the life that has been given to me. i either embrace it or quit.

and guess what. i'm no quitter.

i'm waging an all out war with the ants in my room

okay, before anything, a disclaimer. yes, i eat in my room.

having said that, i must say that i've never had an ant attack of this nature in the past. these ants are vicious, i tell you.

it started out innocently enough. i was chatting with a friend on the phone when i spied an ant line (you know how they make those snaking lines?) on the wall and remarked, "oh look, i've got ants!"

so i whipped out my trusty baygon and sprayed them to oblivion. done, i told myself, and mentally patted my own back.

these ants, however, were spoiling for a fight. i innocently left a bag of popcorn on the floor one day and barely an hour later, the entire bag was crawling with ants. a couple of days later, i left a bag of cheetos twisted puffs (my favorite, in case you want to know), a bag that was folded and sealed, and what do you know - they were full of ants by the time i got back.

it would be ok enough if our fight ended with food. after all, food i can easily replace. except that they've invaded my bed too. i've changed sheets so many times, beat up my cushions and pillows, and done everything i can to remove the ants. oh, they'd hide alright. then, deep in the middle of the night, they'd crawl back, bite you, and leave you scratching yourself to death.

now, being the mantika sleeper that i am, once i go to deep sleep, i'm gone to the universe until my alarm kicks in. last night, though, an ant bit me on the eyelid and it was so painful that i woke up at 3 am just to wallow in pain. i was in so much pain i couldn't sleep (and ended up watching an episode of gossip girl in the process). i was in so much pain that even while i slept, i was dreaming about the painful eye. and i woke up this morning, still with a painful eye.

how i wish my stinging eye could be sufficient reason to cut work. unfortunately it isn't.

still, this means an all out war between me and the ants in my room. you can invade my food, you can invade my bed even. but there is no way i'll let you get away with invading my sleep.

critical mass

my home - i've begun trying to see it not as my mom's or my dad's or even something i used to share with my brother - has reached critical mass, again.

i cleaned it right before i switched jobs. i took down the old curtains and put up new ones, i threw away the dusty and old flower arrangements, junk, and what not and replaced them with lovely giant candles, pictures of important persons in my life, and my own junk. i waxed, pledged, vacuumed, and scrubbed. heck, i even polished the dining room table to perfection and put in two live (yes, they're alive!) plants in the middle. for short, i created a home i can invite someone to.

now, somewhere between looking for the perfect suit for back to back to back hearings and random overnights (to qc, with tita celia, with lingkod) and work (real work!), i sort of forgot that keeping house meant actually doing the cleaning on a regular basis.

and so, my dining room table now houses my laptop and a couple of labor books. another labor book found its way to my dining room table. my prized bag sits atop one living room chair while the couch houses several bags (bags which i choose from on a daily basis). shoes that are in regular circulation has failed to make it back into the shoe area (yes, i actually have an entire area devoted to shoes) and have found space at the corner near the door.

and let's not get started on the plants - i once took them out so that i could sun them. they nearly died cause i forgot to water them, but i was able to revive them a couple of times. now, they're barely alive again. i am counting on their resilience to make it through the next couple of days.

a friend shared with me how, for the longest time, she was a slave to the junk and mess at her own home. one day, she took charge and cleaned everything up, re-upholstered the furnitured, and created a beautiful living space for her own family. her sister said, ayan, pwede ka na ligawan. she didn't make much of it then.

let's just say she's getting married march.

i know i should clean my home soon. this weekend even, maybe. but i refuse to clean it simply on account that i wish to be courted by someone. i want to clean it because cleaning, in my opinion, is the next adult thing that i have to deal with. i've learned to balance a checkbook, manage my finances, spend within my means, and drive a car. i know where groceries are cheap and where they are expensive. while i still refuse to cook for myself (i believe it is more expensive than simply dining out), i have discovered places where i can eat cheaply on a regular basis. i know how to do my own laundry and ironing. it's high time that i face the last thing on my homemaker's list: cleaning.

p.s. i do admit i am horrible, very very horrible, at cleaning. volunteers willing to help will be very much welcome. eeeermsss?

in a bout of frustration and creativity, i wrote this

on account of client confidentiality (naks!), don't ask. just enjoy

I thought that I would never see,
A case involving the cutting of a tree.

A tree that stood the test of time,
And whose branches never crossed the boundary line.

A tree a neighbor cut with hostility
And resulted in mutual animosity.

And so all day I research, surf, and read,
To ensure neighbor won't get away with his evil deed.

Maybe one day this case will go to court,
And maybe, I'll be able to protect my client's fort.

Lame arguments are invented by associates like me,
but jurisprudence, hopefully, by the SC.