joy vs. happiness

happiness is getting the stuff i want: an lv speedy, my first coach bag, a balikbayan box filled with everything from wet wipes (i love walgreens' baby wipes that i actually make my mom send me packs all the time!) to isaac mizrahi for target shoes (yes, they're cheap and fabulous, if only they'd fit!) to designer bags (the real dooney and bourke, not the fake ones in greenhills).

happiness is getting in a cold fx, national bookstore's yearly cut-price book sale, and shopping at sm.

happiness is silvanas from brownies unlimited. happiness is having gourmet tuyo from sucre for lunch while chatting with good friends.

but joy. joy is a different matter altogether. joy is tougher, but more permanent. joy, as cheesy this may be, is that song we used to sing as kids, you know the one that goes "j-o-y, down in my heart, deep deep down in my heart."

last sunday, i experienced pure unadulterated joy. joy in listening to words inspired by god. joy in listening to experiences made richer by a life lived in the spirit. joy in lifting my hands up in worship to the lord. joy in fraternizing with brothers and sisters in community and knowing that they too are experiencing the same spiritual high that you are. joy in being affirmed that your commitment to god and his people is the best decision you've made. joy in just being there and "basking" in his glory.

i don't think i've sung louder or raised my hands higher or cried harder than i did last sunday.

thank you, gay, for being one of the reasons why this kind of joy became possible in my life (isn't it ironic how your name is somewhat synonymous to joy and happiness?). thank you, pazi, for being my first ever greeter, for re-inviting me when i was too ashamed to go back to lingkod after failing the bar. thank you, sparkeatags, for being my first ag, my first group of "girlfriends" and for a whole lot of happy saturdays spent together. thank you to my pandan ag for making me look forward to gmmmacqs since i know you guys will be there. thank you to my carpool-mates because fridays don't end with fellowships but the requisite talk 10 care of dom on our way to MB2. thank you kikay ag and fab ag for sustaining the joy - the honeymoon period with alnp may be long over but you guys are definitely making the stay even richer than the honeymoon period. thank you, clp batch 12, for making every moment fun, most especially the weeks leading up to commitment night. thank you, to all my brothers and sisters in christ, for being you. had it not been for all of you, i don't think my life will be as rich as it is today.

but most of all, thank you to my God, the Lord of my salvation, my redeemer, my friend, my hope, my perfect joy, my promise keeper. had i not been adopted by You, eternity will indeed be a very, very long time. my being your child has turned it into something i look forward to each waking day, something i dream about each night, and something that makes this temporal existence worth it.