crazy swamped

my things to do list looks like this:
- BMA
- FVS-cases
- PMAP
- YON - leave
- position paper
- aug 16-31 cases
- september cases
- finish July 2008
- RLTC stuff
- Tita Celia overnight
- payment credit card
- tuloy kap '08 closing program

and that's just for today and tomorrow. i'd hate to see how the rest of the week looks like. i might just keel over and ... well, shop?

yesterday, as i was pondering on the sheer impossibility of accomplishing everything i've set out for myself to accomplish, i did the most stupid thing in the world: i avoided doing anything on my list. i did try to wake up early and i did accomplish some work. but i allowed myself to fix my closet, iron my clothes, take the laundry in, watch an angelu-diether film shot in 2000 that i didn't know existed, watch the ugly betty season one marathon on star, and take a nap. it's obvious: when the tough get going, rosa does something else.

i do wish my attention isn't that of a five-year-old and that i'd learn how to focus more (for example, here i am writing this instead of finishing the last paragraph of the PMAP article. that would've been one down but my brain just refused to conclude it) but it seems to me i'm not wired that way. hopefully, the focused, mature, writing-machine rosa (which surfaces in exteme cases) will materialize soon, take over my lazy self, and miraculously churn out something (or a lot of somethings) before it crashes at the end of today.

until then, i might have to think of happy thoughts (this too shall end), or resort to bribery (produce something and you can buy shoes or clothes or whatever), or threaten (you want to lose this nice happy job?) because at the end of the day, i did bring all these upon myself and i can only rely on myself to accomplish every little bit of work to be done.