it's the end of an era ... and the start of a new one.

yesterday i stuffed my car full of things i had accumulated over the last two years and 9 months, turned in my office keys, and said goodbye to government service.

it's the end of an era... and for the first time since i made the decision to leave, i'm feeling mighty scared of starting a new job.

of course every time gay and i would talk about this, she'd remind me that:
1) i prayed about it; and
2) my first day is bound to be exciting.

i've got my outfit all planned for monday. i've already sent a message to the firm making sure that they really accepted me - it's one of the things which scare me - arriving there and being told, "ha, tinanggap mo pala yung job? but we already gave it to someone else!"

i don't know how first day is going to be like. gay said the office manager will come, tell me how things are run in the office, stuff like that. my concerns, shallow as they may seem, include who i'll be eating lunch with, will i get my own room and computer, and will i make new friends?

i hope so. i had said goodbye - sort of - to people who've seen me shell shocked over failing the bar, cry over passing the bar, freaking out cause i couldn't manage to finish a resolution which has bugging me for months, and falling asleep while having a lunch conversation with my boss. i said goodbye to a cushy, happy, relaxing, stress-free job in exchange for a lower-paying, definitely stressful job in the middle of ortigas. i have no idea how life is going to be like.

i do know that it's not going to be like the way it is now: long, leisurely lunches, the knowledge that you're doing some good to the world when you turn in a decision you slaved over, highly addictive turon from the supreme court canteen, reading back issues of magazines when the perfect words escape me, and robinson's five tumblings away. oh well.

and so, just keep me in your prayers! i am definitely going to need it.