guess who's watching the eheads concert?

ME! ME! ME! ME!

i can't believe i'm now a real lawyer and just like the ola intern i was the first thought that came to mind was 'what will i wear?'

after graduating from up law, taking two bar examinations and successfully hurdling one, working for two years and nine months in the judiciary, and three weeks in a law firm, i can't believe that my major preoccupation before going on my first hearing as a full fledged lawyer is still "what am i going to wear?"

darn. that just screams law intern. or, at least, rosa the law intern.

i can still remember how one saturday i raided festival mall after classes in UP in search of the perfect suit for my OLA appearances. i hit on my mom for money (yes, i am pathetic that way) so that i can buy something decent in a skirt. i wore those two skirt suits alternately for the entire year and was glad when it was all finally over. i hate wearing skirt suits, or even pantsuits for that matter. IMHO, i look stupid in them.

the weekend before starting my law firm life, i tried looking for a suitable suit (no pun intended) and was unable to find one that made me want to rush to the cashier to buy it. i don't even think i tried on one. the suits i saw either looked too much like a uniform or were too expensive. since i am banking on the hope that all the walking, working, and not sleeping will make me more dyesebel than kim sam soon, i refuse to pay good money for something that i'm hoping will be too big for me come december.

after three weeks of just staying in the office and working on pleadings, i was feeling mighty good about myself. all my old working clothes are pretty much okay here so there is no big rush to get a suit. i'll lose the weight, make oodles of shopping money, and when these two have finally converged and a beautiful sign that says "sale" comes along, well, i'd go buy my gorgeous, cool lawyer suit.

so imagine my shock when last tuesday, one of the partners pops into my tiny (but lovely!!!) office, hands me a pleading, and instructs me to go to make an appearance at pasig rtc this coming friday.

what????

tuesday was overtime day. wednesday i had to do a lecture at ua&p. thursday is tuloy day. and i have to finish a pleading by friday. so when, when, when will i buy my gorgeous cool lawyer suit?

now, i know all of you are going tsk tsk tsk she should be concerned about her client (i am) and she should be preparing for her appearance (i have already) and she should be researching (to simply ask for an extension?? forget it.) but if you were in my place, with absolutely nothing appropriate to wear for your very court appearance, wouldn't you be in major panic mode too?

chasing the dream

i was watching the Today Show's brief recap of the 2008 Beijing Olympics and the lyrics of the song they used, what if it all goes right, caught my attention. i especially love the part where it goes like:

"what if you climb to the mountain top
and touch the sky
grab a cloud as it passes by
you might fall you might fall
but then again you might fly

what if it all goes right
what if it all works out
what if the stars line up
and good luck rains down
what if you chase your dreams
and it changes your whole life
Yeah, what if it all goes right"

sitting here in the office at half past seven, trying to finish a pleading to be filed before the supreme court, trying to figure out how to fit in everything else i need to do between now and tomorrow morning, i'm realizing for the ten millionth time that this is me, chasing my life's dream. this is the fruit of hours writing and re-writing my resume and cover letter, walking around the hot and dusty streets of makati and ortigas from one building to another submitting resume after resume on the off chance a firm might have a vacancy. this is an answered prayer in the flesh. it may not even be the most attractive thing in the universe - as my former boss so aptly put it, me leaving the judiciary was nothing short of katangahan. but knowing deep in my heart that i'm yearning for something more, that i'm not idly waiting for my dream to fulfill itself but taking the reins and actively pursuing it, and that i'm mostly likely fulfilling my potential, is something that fuels me to continue, to wake up after barely five hours of sleep, and to brave the daily four-hour commute.

and because this is me chasing my dream, i know that it won't be long before one day, my life will change and i'll be glad i let go of my comfort zone and found that which brings my heart joy.

should i join the bandwagon?

if i give up my pldt, cable, sun phone, and globe pre-paid phone, i might just be able to afford the lowest monthly service fee for globe's iphone.

but then if i were to give up my sun and landline phones, how would tita mayu contact me? quick answer: i'll use my free 100 minutes of talk time, of course. of course, translated into hours and minutes, that's just one hour and forty minutes. multiply that by five and you'd get to how much time i spend on the phone with tita mayu.

but it's an iPhone.

and it's soooo cool.

and i hardly use my pldt, don't have time to watch tv anymore, and there's a phone at my desk at work.

*sigh*

who knew that i'd fall in techno-lust with something that didn't even cross my mind 24 hours ago?

instead of fighting the lopezes for control over meralco...

... the people over at gsis should instead be worrying about their beneficiaries' benefits, me included.

i just found out over the weekend that owing to the non-posting of a huge number of my gsis contributions, i might not get the cash surrender value of my gsis enhanced life policy.

what?!?!?!?

gsis deductions, fyi, are way, way more than sss deductions. and they deduct, month in, month out. but god forbid that you surrender your policy any time soon because you'll discover soon enough that someone has yet to reflect your contributions and therefore you actually owe the government money.

i've been in a bunch since i discovered it and would have wanted nothing than to get winston out in the open and have a boxing match against him. i wanted to shout, at the top of my voice, and hysterically blame him for running an office in that shoddy manner. and, more than anything, i hate how everyone i know from gsis is lawit ang dila because of overtime and yet there's this discrepancy.

where, where, where, did things go wrong?

no wonder immediately after the gsis brouhaha came out that all these pensioners came out on interviews attacking winston garcia for his bid to run meralco. if he can't run an agency like gsis - which, IMHO, should be running itself after all these years - how can he then run meralco?

i could almost hate the rain with a passion except it gives me an excuse to buy new shoes

recently, the weather's been horrible.

you'd wake up and it's nice and cool. by the time you leave home, the sky would be overcast. it would be raining buckets by the time the bus reaches makati and then scorching hot again when you get to ortigas and you'd have to walk a kilometer or so to get to your building. (incidentally, i walk only part of the time. i'd much rather take the fx from megamall if it's a. hot and b. i'm wearing nice shoes)

then it'll be hot the whole day, the skies will darken by three and by the time six rolls around and you're up for another walking spree (on my way home i do walk), the rains will pour like it's the end of the world and the bishops all prayed for water to fill the angat dam.

crazy isn't it?

yesterday i had every intention of getting to alabang by 7:30 so i braved the rains and attempted to leave the office by 6:15. my officemate offered to drop me off at megamall but by the time i got there i was soaking wet - my bag was wet (and so was the inside of my razr, i found out much later), my sleeves were wet, 3/4 of my pants was wet, and my shoes, well, let's just say it feels like i dumped by feet in a bucket of cold water.

and, if there's one thing i can't stand, it's wet feet inside wet shoes on a ride home in an airconditioned vehicle.

so - and this is from a girl who loves the rain with a passion - i was just about set to let loose a long string of complaints (ranging from "why am i so kuripot not to bring a car to work, i am being stupid saving money this way when i have a perfectly dry car at home" to "why did i leave the ca when there's a shuttle there and all i have to do is walk a couple of meters to get to the bus" to the inane "dapat kasi kanina pa umulan ang stupid naman ng weather."

and then it struck me: wet feet in wet shoes in an airconditioned vehicle will make me sick. i need a new pair of shoes.

and so i bought.

the day ...

... i wear my new white top ...

... i have to do a demo teaching for my new sideline ...

... everyone notices my outfit ...

... i'm feeling mighty proud of the work i turned in last friday which came back today with very minimal corrections ...

... is the day i spill chocolate ice cream on myself.

don't you just hate it when you thought you have the best day blooming ahead of you and something like this happens.

thank god i was reading this book this morning and the author decided to include my favorite verses in his discussion:

"Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation. The LORD God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds' feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places. Habakkuk 3:17-19

so what if i've got chocolate stains on my shirt? there's always a reason to rejoice in the Lord.

p.s. i also serve the Lord of miracles so if it isn't too much to ask, Father, will you take away the stains on my shirt?

to think i thought one of my favorite colors was red

my first fino (a local leather goods brand i absolutely adore) bag was red. to this day, i still use it as much as i can.

i own a pair of deep red shoes with brown croc trim and kitten heels that i wear with alarming regularity. they're sort of my favorite but i try to restrain myself from wearing them too often lest they age prematurely. recently, i also bought a pair of red patent leather shoes to replace the one which had a lot of scratch marks.

i also have a pair of red rubber shoes that i love way too much to throw away, although i haven't worn them in a year, if not more.

so, clearly, i was well within my senses to have voted "red" when ate gracey asked what color our group would be wearing for the tuloy volunteers' anniversary last saturday.

until i took an actual look inside my closet and realized that i actually do not own a red shirt.

and it just keeps getting better!

the whole universe (and probably the world beyond) knows by now how i am loving my new life. i wake up at what was formerly the impossibly early 5:30, i don't mind staying until 6 (or later if need be), and lunch, while still exciting, isn't the highlight of my day anymore. commuting, while a major hassle, is a time for me to sleep and, don't laugh at this, contemplate on the meaning of life. and, the long walk (from edsa to tektite in the morning and tektite to starmall in the evening) is my concession to the fact that yes, i am fat, and that i need exercise.

anyway, on the same day they gifted (i say gifted cause really, isn't the fulfillment of a dream, albeit unintended, a gift no matter how you look at it?) me with my dream office, the receptionist inquired if i'd be free for dinner on thursday. now, i had tuloy tutorials (which i had already backed out of) and branch council meeting (the reason why i excused myself from tuloy tutorials) already scheduled for that day but (1) this is my new job and (2) can you actually say no to the source of your income no matter how busy you might be in your personal life?) but i said yes, i'm free. a couple of minutes later, she said that it's been set, they'll be hosting my welcome dinner with the partners and the other assoicates on that day.

wow. a welcome dinner. now, that's something i didn't expect. what i had expected - most of which were formed from the warnings of well-meaning friends - was that they'll put me in a room, dump stuff on me, and force me to forget that i had a life to begin with. so imagine that i had braced myself for that and what greets me is a dinner in my honor? fantabulous.

the dinner could've been basically at aysee's (you know that famous sisig place near ultra) for all i cared and i'd still be a happy cow. imagine my surprise when this information greeted me yesterday morning:

heat restaurant
edsa shangri-la hotel
7:00 p.m.

wow, right? when i passed the bar, my boss treated me and the other lawyers in the office to lunch at chocolate kiss. justice tagle treated me and a couple of my friends to lunch at emerald garden restaurant. my lola and tita celia sprung for lunch for me and my officemates at emerald garden again and for an informal dinner party at gerry's grill. tita mayu and tito lito took me out for dinner at italianni's. no one, however, took me for a fabulous dinner, in my honor, at one of manila's most famous buffets.

so, if i gush on and on about work and how much i'm loving it, you really should understand. at times i feel i'm way out of my league here but i'm happy, not to mention the fact that they make me happy, and i've no doubt it will keep getting better with each passing day.

p.s. it must be said that all these are made possible by one thing: god and his faithfulness. the day i passed my resumes, i heard mass at the greenbelt chapel and honostly confronted the lord with this message:

"god, ikaw na ang bahala sa application ko. you know how horrible i am at discernment so i'll need you to choose for me. please make sure na hindi ako masilaw sa pera because if one firm is offering a lot, i might not be able to stop myself from jumping at that chance. you know what i want and what i need right now so i'm letting you take charge of this."

that was a thursday. i received a text message from this firm on a tuesday, scheduled an interview for friday. the partner said the words i hate hearing - "we'll just call you."

since it would be manila day the following tuesday, i prayed real hard that they'll contact me for my second interview by monday but they didn't. i passed a whole lot of resumes on tuesday morning and planned on going to makati after lunch to pass some more. at around 1145, the firm called asking me if i could come in by 4. of course. right there and then, they offered me the job.

i told myself it was all too easy. so i said, okay lord, i'll wait till friday.

and i did. and no one called. so i accepted the job.

the monday after, people started calling.

the pay is horrible (for the millionth time, i know. sorry) and it entails longer working hours and the commute is taxing to my 31-year-old self. but five days into my new job and all my dreams seem to be coming true.

right now, i'm coming to terms with the fact that yes, god does answer prayers and when he wills it, it will be answered in the most specific way possible. not masilaw sa pera part included

of new lunch mates, internet access at work, a phone on my desk, and a secretary named benny

when i was a kid, i'd play this game at my grandmother's house in cabanatuan. i'd commandeer her living room center table, put an old rotary phone on one corner and a typewriter on the other and pretend i was an office girl with loads and loads of work to do. i'd scribble for hours and hours on sheets of scratch paper, sometimes typing non-words (i didn't know how to properly form words yet) using the dilapidated typewriter, and force my aunts, uncles, cousins, and even my grandparents at times to come "visit" my office as if they were clients or guests.

clearly, i had a very specific idea of what an office ought to be like. no, scratch that. i had a very specific idea of how i wanted my work to be like.

of course everyone knows that i finished a degree in education so that meant faculty rooms for me. i never stayed long enough - now was even qualified enough - to get to the office-with-computer-and-phone level. so, i just hoped that since i switched over to law, i'd probably get my "dream office" when i finally become a lawyer.

when i got to the court of appeals, i sorta expected that i'd get some approximation of my dream office but what i got was a desk. yep, just a desk. since we didn't have enough computers, i had to bring my own. and the phone? well, there's a phone but not on my desk and almost always, it was never for me.

mark this day though because finally - yes finally - i got THE office.

i arrived at nine and it was not long before a secretary ushered me to my new "office". tiny as it may have been, my heart leapt a little when i noticed that it not only had a desk, it had a visitor's chair, my very own computer, and a complicated phone with lots of buttons. and when i turned the computer on, viola! internet access!

but wait, there's more! there's a secretary named benny :)

so, i may have taken a pay cut (yes, i can't stop talking about that, sorry) but by golly, i now have my own tiny space in the universe i can call my office. and if you need to reach me, well, you better get through benny first

p.s. i know my title begins with lunch mates and i haven't talked about lunch mates yet and i've ended my post already so here goes: i have lunch mates. yay.

i may not know how to clean my house, but i'm pretty handy with a power drill

amongst my friends and my family, my house has become some sort of a legend. for one, no one's allowed inside for the simply reason that i cannot bear them to find out exactly how poor i am at keeping my immediate surroundings in order. in fact, there was a time when a couple of brothers helped me lug things from my house to the hospital when my brother had dengue and i left them very clear instructions that they are to stay in the garage and are not to set one foot inside the house.

thankfully, they complied. although i must say that the more i try to keep people out, the more curious they are as to how the inside looks like.

the rumors regarding my house escalated when i had two people clean my house for a full day. friends asked if they could now visit knowing that i had actually paid people to professionally fix everything. when i said no, they can't, since the cleaners didn't finish cleaning the entire place they were like, "grabe, it must be really, really dirty."

*insert rosa blushing furiously here*

anyway, two saturdays ago, fueled by the bright red "sale" signs at SM, i finally bought curtains and new curtain rods for the living and dining areas. that same night (or should i say early, very early, sunday morning), i took down the old curtains. then a little bit at a time, i unscrewed all the old rods and what-nots. thursday evening, armed with a power drill, i drilled through a concrete wall and finally attached new curtain rods in the living room. and, the saturday after that i drilled through another stretch of concrete wall to attach the curtains in the dining room. by lunch last week, i had beautiful, gorgeous, lovely curtains billowing in the breeze.

that, and very dirty living and dining areas.

and so, i put aside my lack of talent in the cleaning department. armed with a big canister of household wipes (like wet wipes, but only for the house. they disinfect too!), i slowly plowed through cleaning my house as much as i could. i used glass cleaner for the glass surfaces, "pledged" all the wood surfaces, and vacuumed the floors and rugs. i threw away those things which i hadn't used for eons and left at my house's curb all those things which could still be used but i couldn't use anymore. by saturday evening, my house - or at least the dining and living rooms - looked like a home.

throughout the entire week, i cleaned all the remaining spots in the said areas. i dumped all of my brother's remaining trash in his room.

by friday night, i had invited over my first guest.

and you know what? it felt great being able to show off two weeks worth of laboring at home.

i still hate cleaning, and i still would rather work the power drill than whip out the broom and dust pan. but there's a certain exhiliration that comes from cleaning a home that i could now finally call my own.

it's the end of an era ... and the start of a new one.

yesterday i stuffed my car full of things i had accumulated over the last two years and 9 months, turned in my office keys, and said goodbye to government service.

it's the end of an era... and for the first time since i made the decision to leave, i'm feeling mighty scared of starting a new job.

of course every time gay and i would talk about this, she'd remind me that:
1) i prayed about it; and
2) my first day is bound to be exciting.

i've got my outfit all planned for monday. i've already sent a message to the firm making sure that they really accepted me - it's one of the things which scare me - arriving there and being told, "ha, tinanggap mo pala yung job? but we already gave it to someone else!"

i don't know how first day is going to be like. gay said the office manager will come, tell me how things are run in the office, stuff like that. my concerns, shallow as they may seem, include who i'll be eating lunch with, will i get my own room and computer, and will i make new friends?

i hope so. i had said goodbye - sort of - to people who've seen me shell shocked over failing the bar, cry over passing the bar, freaking out cause i couldn't manage to finish a resolution which has bugging me for months, and falling asleep while having a lunch conversation with my boss. i said goodbye to a cushy, happy, relaxing, stress-free job in exchange for a lower-paying, definitely stressful job in the middle of ortigas. i have no idea how life is going to be like.

i do know that it's not going to be like the way it is now: long, leisurely lunches, the knowledge that you're doing some good to the world when you turn in a decision you slaved over, highly addictive turon from the supreme court canteen, reading back issues of magazines when the perfect words escape me, and robinson's five tumblings away. oh well.

and so, just keep me in your prayers! i am definitely going to need it.