my dad's left for the US, and i'm home alone again (my brother works evenings). when i got home earlier, i resisted the urge to call out "i'm home" which, considering the house was quite dark, would've been utterly stupid.

so i'm back online, talking to my (mostly) unknown audience, daring to once more voice out thoughts and ideas which, had my dad been here, would've immediately been challenged. since he's somewhere between manila and chicago right now, i am confident that i wouldn't be challenged until he gets home, goes online, and reads this. yay, for now. but then again, i must admit i miss having him to contend with.

life's been great - i was able to spend quality time with my dad, got to vote, spent time with family, and made a new friend. i also met with irma today for my sol discernment and we're all set to give it a go. that would mean no dating (no cheating allowed!) for at least three months but considering that i've survived more than two years of a boyfriend-less existence, a couple more months spent discovering whether i am meant for marriage or a single life, and if for marriage, discovering what i actually want in a life partner, shouldn't really be that hard. of course it meant letting go of a possible relationship that has actually put a smile on my face recently but that versus the possibility of having a much better relationship with him in the future after we're both done with our SOLs made the choice easy. (ok, fine, not that easy. i miss him and his company so i've saved the last couple of messages he's sent me and read them when i begin missing him all over again.)

anyway, i've made a couple of resolutions for the rest of the year, which of course includes the ubiquitous "lose weight". this time, though, i plan to follow through all of my resolutions, especially in light of the fact that the "lose weight" promise was done in exchange for someone doing his SOL.

i'm rambling, making references to a him, who, if i remember correctly, has yet to make an "appearance" in this blog.

if he were to have his way, he never will.

and since we've basically said our goodbyes to each other, albeit hopefully temporarily, it's going to stay that way for the meantime. (although i love immensely like him already).

this will be all for now. hopefully when i've stopped missing him immensely, when i've gotten over being used to having my dad around all the time, and when i've settled into the groove of my normal life again - alone at home, reading till i fall asleep, and spending time with scores of women friends - i'll be blogging normally. for now, this will have to do.

while i've always been admittedly a papa's girl, i must say that my mom and i have shared pretty special moments:

1) my mom driving me off to UP every weekend with a pit stop at a mall somewhere between my house and diliman.

2) buying our first pair of matching shoes. we don't share the same shoe size (saddest thing in the world) so we can't share shoes but it was a milestone when my shoe size was finally adult size and we can wear similar shoes.

3) us eating at bun on the run at katipunan. we only chose that place cause we thought no one would see us there. for some strange reason, every single person i knew in UP felt like eating there.

4) no classes on wednesdays and me hogging the payphone at ilang for hours. during the week, i'd save up all my coins in a fishbowl and on wednesdays i'd wake up early and call my mom and we'd chat about stuff that's happened to me in the dorm.

5) going to our first expensive parlor trip ever and having a blast changing our respective hairstyles.

there are a million and one other memories - some good, some bad. while my dad holds a dear place in my heart, i must say that no one else can take the place of a mom in a daughter's heart, especially if that mom is like my mom.

years ago, on one of their anniversaries, my dad asked me mom to read proverbs 31:10-31 and honored her by saying she's exactly like the woman there. i've read it more than a couple of times since then and when i meditate upon that verse, i can't help but thank the lord that he has given me my mom to be my mom. were it not for her, i am sure that i wouldn't be the person i am right now.

happy mother's day, mama.

and to the other mothers out there - happy mother's day to you too!

hopefully, when we singletons finally join your ranks, we'd be worthy enough of the label "mother".

dad's home!

i actually want to say "papa" cause that's what i call him except that every other person i've texted "papa's home and i'm happy" misunderstood and replied, "may boyfriend ka na?" clearly, the term papa doesn't apply to fathers anymore but to hot young things.

my dad didn't bring home a lot but he brought stuff that i truly love, hence the permanent smile on my very materialistic self's face: a coach bag with a matching wallet, numerous 3M post-its in a variety of shapes which aren't yet available her, highlighters with post-it flags tucked in their middles, and this giant bag of gummi bears. i am happy, but more than the presents, i am happy that he's back home. i haven't seen him in six or so years. he's still the same dad who left, except now, he has light brown hair. probably has something to do with the fact that he's american now.

my brother and i are busy trying to come up with things to do with our dad but his only request is that we bring him to (1) chowking and (2) padi's point. clearly, my dad's pretty low-maintenance. for their bonding date, my dad and brother will be watching the nba play-offs at national sports grill. me, i plan to bring my dad to mall of asia. i wouldn't be me if i didn't, right?

he'll be here until the 30th. considering that he has very few things on his lift and kit and i don't exactly know where else to bring him (my boss suggested tagaytay and my brother and i are thinking of baywalk) except to dampa where he can have his fill of liempo and other "heart attack goodies". maybe you've got suggestions?

incidentally, and totally off-topic, i have concocted this fantasy where the boy will ask me to be his girlfriend and i will say, "can i give you my answer tomorrow?" and then on the day itself, i'll hand him a cd with the song "ikaw".

cheesy but i must admit, after one year and counting worth of prayers, five dates that ended for what i now know to be a valid reason, and a very active fantasy life which involves me being appointed to the judiciary prompting me to finally take his last name (i refuse to change my name even after marriage), there's no other person who'd deserve this song as much as him.

oops, i did it again.

i really should stop dating. cause, really, dating gets me in trouble.

see, i've got this policy that i'd date any person - whether i like him or not - at least once. but then unless the person is majorly objectionable, i'd find something in common with him and i'd start enjoying his company and pretty soon i'd be envisioning how it would be like to be this person's girlfriend and so on and so forth.

and, all too soon, i would realize that i'd developed all sorts of feelings about him. unfortunately, with my SOL discernment pending, i CAN'T develop these feelings yet.

add to the mix the fact that there's a huge part of me that's still majorly in like with a certain boy, well, it's going to be pretty complicated.

i REALLY should stay single a little while longer.

i wake up these days and generally, the first thought that comes to mind is "yes, i am finally a lawyer."

but then last night, as i was having yet another allergy attack and having major difficulty in falling asleep, i realized that becoming a lawyer hasn't changed me one bit.

i still like balloons and flowers. i still don't eat chopseuy. my closet and shoe cabinet still looks like it's been hit by a major storm. and spike, well, spike's still icky-dirty.

so, i can sign pleadings now, defend the defenseless, claim entitlement to RATA and membership to IBP, and can even demand people call me attorney in my presence (so like people in the province who refer to their kids by their professional titles) but i'm still the same old me - nothing's changed and in all likelihood, nothing's going to change real soon.

there's no doubt about it.

before they even came up with the word, my mom has been parenting like no grupster has ever parent-ed before.

i mean, come on, here's a mom who never forced us, her kids, to eat fish and vegetables growing up. her reason: if she doesn't want to eat them herself, why should she force us to eat the same things?

and, while we did have the usual nursery rhymes on tape and the "alvin and the chipmunks christmas tape", i must admit that our music of choice most of the time consisted of rolling stones and her personal holy week favorite: jesus christ superstar. before there was cable and good things to watch on good friday, she'd sit me and my brother on the sofa, pop her original jesus christ superstar soundtrack on the turntable and sing-along to the music. i must admit that on the third year, my brother and i were singing along with her. so, i guess it's safe to say that even before i memorized anything on sesame street, i already had "what's the buzz, tell me what's happening" down pat.

let's not even go into my mom's non-rules: (1) you can stay on the phone as long as you want so long as no one's expecting an important phone call; (2) just finish college without a hitch and i'll allow you to do anything you want, no questions asked; and (3) you can buy it if you can afford to pay for it.

and, don't forget. before i was ever addicted to shoes, there was my mom, the original.

grupsters - it appears - have been catching some bad flack from some quarters. but, considering that my brother and i, IMHO, turned out to be fine young specimens of human beings (save for the fact that we're both old and still unmarried and living in our parents' house), then i've got nothing bad to say about parents who have decided to keep their identities while parenting their kids.

and, to my mom, who unless some miracle happens and stumbles upon this blog, who won't be able to read this, happy mother's day. i'd like to think that having you as a mom was one of the best things that ever happened in my life.