considering that there's nothing between me and the boy except for a donut date, a dinner date, and a movie date, it's funny how guilty i felt hanging out with another boy.

maybe i'm just twisted that way.

or maybe i felt guilty cause a huge part of me knew that while there was a point in my life that i actually liked the other boy and that i've been basically waiting for a year to be introduced to him, sometime between that time and now, i saw, got to know, and fell in love the boy.

i know i'm being stupid, really, as waiting for the boy to declare his undying love and what not is the most uncertain thing in my life right now, next to the bar examination results. and it's really dumb considering that there might be nothing at all there except my imagination gone wild. so what if we text at least once every two days, and so what if the texting sometimes borders on the flirting? at the end of the day, there's been hardly any sign of life in that area of my life.

so why am i still pining for the boy? why is it that in spite of new boy - let's call him gsr boy - making all the right moves and saying all the right things and making a flat out declaration of like i'm still thinking of the possiblity of the boy?

i am 29. quite old to be choosy and picky in my ex-roommate wilma's opinion.

she may be right.

but, she may be wrong. and until then, iam probably going to will continue pining for the boy.

9 months down... a whole lot more to go.

and the sad thing is i actually don't mind waiting some more.