Tuesday, February 22, 2005

why can't i be this happy anymore?things haven't been good lately.

too much work.
too much backlog.
too much pressure from commercial law review.
too many fights.
too many words left unsaid.

this picture i have on my bedside table. using my friend's camera phone, i took a snapshot of myself as we were on our way to the office party in batangas. i had lost one of my ovaries a little more than a month before this pic, but it didn't really matter at that time. i thought i loved someone, and was planning on telling him i loved him too on christmas eve. he was the nicest person i knew, and i was confident he loved me dearly.

now, he's married, with a kid. when i look at that picture i can't help but ask myself whether my life would have been better had i stuck it out with him. i can't help but wonder why i can't take pictures with me this happy anymore.

i'm turning 28 in a couple of days. i'm supposed to have a boyfriend. i'm supposed to have friends. i'm supposed to have family.

but why, why, why am i not happy anymore?

2 said hello!:

trisha said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
trisha said...

hmmmnn... i know who this guy is and yes, he loved you dearly. ikaw kaya bukambibig nyan ever since we first met. you will find someone soon, just think positive. and you have a friends and one of them is me. try to get to know me better and you will find out that i am one of a kind too, i am the kind of friend who will stick with you no matter what and won't be judgmental and would just listen. i know you heard a lot of "tsismis" about me but what you see in me is what you get. this is me.

you're right, he is so nice to the max na gusto mong sabihin sa kanya na "magalit ka naman!" haha. but we remained the best of friends after what went through between us. (if you know the story..if not, ill fill you the details.)

anyway try to get to know me. makulit ako, madaldal and down to earth. so let me know when you are free...i'll drop by your house talaga and have a drink or two. :)

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