one of the most awkward things i ever had to do in high school involved standing up in class and declare to the entire world who my best friend was. it's awkward not cause i didn't have one but because i must have a couple of best friends at that time.

isn't it ironic? best friend, and there were three of them.

and the funny thing is they aren't even exactly friends with each other.

now, high school ended four years ago and one of those best friends had sadly passed away, another's in canada and is awfully rich busy and another's married with a kid and so is, well, busy too and so here i am left with no one to call my best friend.

not that you need the label, really, but you know what i mean.

well, the lack of a best friend never really bothered me until i realized i am 12 days away from september and that given my lack of a sorority, an organization, and a significant other plus the fact that my mom had conveniently forgotten her promise that she'd be my bar buddy, means that those four sundays will make me not only scared shitless but the saddest i've ever been in a while.

of course i had people promise me a lot of things. that they'd be there for me, or that they'd be my runners, or that they'd make sure i was okay. and i nodded yes, and said thank you, and said i'd count on you for that okay but i knew at the back of my mind that their lives will go on and that they'd forget september and the bar and that somehow they don't really know all the shit i'm going through right now.

except you. you didn't make promises. you just told me that you'd take care of breakfast and would make sure that i have lunch. you told me not to worry and that while freshly squeezed orange juice might be a problem, purefoods corned beef four sundays in a row wouldn't.

with you, i don't need a label.

i don't even need anything.

i know so.