quitting time

these days, i can't help but ask myself if, instead of jumping onto this job, that i should have spent time pursuing my dream of JVP.

would you believe that i already had the form, had asked friends to fill out the recommendations, and was all set to leave THIS life for a year and just serve others. the only problem was that i was too darn chicken to stop being a lawyer for one stupid year.

and now, i am upset, i am sorely unhappy, and don't even know what i want from this life. i can't help but ask, what if?

isn't that pretty miserable? it is, IMHO.