easter has come

i can still remember how i felt early january when i learned that i needed a root canal. i though that my bad luck streak had run out -- after all, i had just gone through spending a lot on plumbing repairs, being locked out of the house, replacing my front door knobs, getting an uber-tiny gown after waiting for more than a month, the car battery dying on me, and various plumbing problems. but with the news that i would have to spend a small fortune on my teeth, well that was the last straw.

it felt like i was on extended lent.

and then blessings started coming bit by bit. a two-day seminar + another two-day seminar (one that i asked for and they gave me) + the kate spade BB pouch arriving + the check finally being released + being able to score really cheap tickets + being able to book using really cheap tickets on a 3-day long weekend for those who work in qc meaning i don't have to go on an additional leave.

yesterday, the box arrived. and since my brother picked it up from tita mayu's house, i asked him if he would kindly drop it off here at work and he did ☺ shared some of the bounty (loot!) with the people at work. happiness, right?

have a blessed friday, everyone. and Lord, thank you for this respite. this child is finally truly celebrating her easter.

p.s. i noted that most of my blessings came in the form of material things. maybe God just knows me (and my love language) so well. ha ha.


*image from here

2011 easter shoes

while the things i give up (or take on) for lent vary from year to year, one thing that has been constant was giving up shoe shopping. this is oftentimes difficult for someone like me who (1) is more than just fond of footwear, (2) a compulsive shopper, and (3) has a birthday that oftentimes fall during the lenten season. add to that the fact that a myriad of stores host their mall-wide sales within the 40-day fast and you've got a girl who can't wait till easter.

the wonderful thing, though, is that more often than not, easter turns into such a marvelous celebration for me. and, the patience is generally rewarded. shoes that i want, in my size no less, remain on sale till i can purchase them. sometimes, shoes i've wanted that weren't on sale previously, magically go on sale. and sometimes, when i'm extremely blessed, i get free shoes.

i went home to the province to spend part of the holy week with my family. when she got back from the US, tita celia mentioned that she got me a pair of shoes but that they were in the box that she hoped would arrive before the holy week. i had totally forgotten about them until she mentioned the magic words when i got to cabanatuan: "your shoes are here."

happy easter indeed.

why at the end of the day, i still love my job

yesterday, as i was contemplating on the meaning of life (while watching law and order, ha!ha!), i couldn't help but thinking why am i where i am right now. i mean, my first lawyer job paid better. and my second lawyer job paid better as well. this job, it pays peanuts. seriously. don't believe it when they say the pharma industry pays well. last time i checked, we're in the pharma business and my paycheck says otherwise.

so my car's aircon still hasn't been fixed, notwithstanding that summer is officially here and i lost five pounds of water weight in the sauna-like conditions every time i drive from qc to las pinas.

and i haven't really bought anything fabulous since i got here. anything fabulous i have is courtesy of generous family members who feel sorry for the only lawyer in the family who, for some weird twist of fate, happens to be the poorest family member as well.

as a matter of fact, while i was that girl who was driving a cute car at 25 (on a teacher's salary, no less), i am now that 30++ girl who rides a non-aircon bus from ayala to sucat. a bus that screams "fire! fire!" to attract passengers.

but you know what?

this job doesn't stress me at all. i go to work at 8 and i leave by 5 and i can actually go to sleep without thinking of the million and one things that have yet to be done. when i leave at the end of the day, i'm done with (at least) most of the tasks on my checklist. my boss says "okay!" when i tell her i haven't finished something yet and will get it done as soon as i can manage. they ask me if i'm swamped, or if i'm still okay with the load, or i need any help with the stuff i have to do.

this job allows me to grow (well, hopefully not literally). since i arrived here, i've learned stuff about corporate law, IP practice, valuation procedures, and where to find cheap designer shoes (okay, so this may not exactly be work-related, but i did learn that from my boss and having lovely shoes is a must to boost one's morale and confidence, right?) gwapo boss has encouraged me to learn stuff other than labor law (my greatest passion in life) but, at the same time, has supported all my labor law related shenanigans. i've gone to one in-house seminar last year and will be attending one seminar next week ... and although my budget allocation will be used up by next week's seminar, my boss said that in the event i find one that i like, i can tell her so they'd share their budget with me.

and that picture up there? that's from when we did something for the plant. friday afternoon was v. v. lovely indeed.

i can still remember that sinking feeling after i resigned from the law firm and had to deal with the realization that losing my tax shelter meant losing almost a third of my monthly salary. i think i must've blanched at the thought, and freak out feeling was further bolstered when the partners all kept telling me how good i was at litigation, how with a couple more of years i was going to be at the top of my game, and how -- as i mentioned during my interview with them -- being a litigation lawyer was being a "real lawyer." how can i then, by reviewing contracts left and right, sending out prissy opinions, and taking the minutes of board meetings, consider myself a "real lawyer."

and then the decision to that god-awful case came out and i had to rush the appeal in ten days. i was writing things i didn't believe in. it was labor law, all right, but i hated every single bit of it. i hated the "legal engineering", i hated researching for case law that wasn't there, i hated having to milk more money from the client (who we hadn't properly billed yet and had racked up way more hours than his deposit actually covered), and i hated appeasing the client who i just wanted to shake severely so i'd be able to drive some sense into his addled brain. i was so miserable with the entire exercise that i just wanted to eat one subway sandwich after the other, buy an incessant amount of clothing i might never use, and sleep till kingdom come.

so i may not be as rich as i used to be. and i may have been reduced to taking crazy public transportation every single working day of my life. my heart may be yearning for that LV speedy monogram 35 that i promised to get myself for my 35th birthday (sad, but if i'm riding non-aircon bus, what good will it be that i have a speedy 35 right? it will just probably be viewed as fake, as fake as that lady's neverfull this morning.). but i'm happy. and i'm fulfilled.

and who knows, maybe i won't be this poor once we sell more cough syrup in the future. right, boss?

the string of unfortunate events has finally ended ...

... i think. and i think it ended cause i finally got to wear the gold gown.

as for how the gold gown fared, let's just cross that off my memory bank. it was an unfortunate day through and through, beginning with expensive but not-so-pretty make-up, difficulty finding a cab going to the wedding, and almost taking the mrt back to qc in a gown.

i say "almost" cause you see, the gold gown, after it was worn, wrinkled, and utilized, stopped being a curse. the wedding ended at around 8, and we anticipated how difficulty it would be to get a cab at that time. and then my friends and i thought, hey let's try the back of the hotel, and there it was, a nice taxi with a driver who didn't blink an eye when i told him where i wanted to go, a driver who didn't ask for additional payment, and a driver who didn't complain when i missed a turn and almost couldn't find my way back home.

and then that same night, right after i washed off my make-up and took off the unhappy gold gown, my aunt arrived and gave me stuff from my family abroad: the crocs i asked my mom and dad to get for me, book 13 of the wheel of time series, a lovely coach bag from my ninong, and kisses in cherry cordial and mint truffle. it was pasalubong heaven, IMHO.

yesterday, i got to work with five minutes to spare. and, although i had to practice, pass by tita mayu's house to pick up stuff i forgot, and buy prixes for our activity in tuloy, i actually arrived at tuloy just in the nick of time. this morning, an empty fx was at the corner exactly when i needed it, and i got to sit in the train after one station.

life's good. life's fun. life is finally how i want it.

finally.

i wish ...

... for more reasons to flash a smile. as i grow older, i find myself smiling less and frowning more. that shouldn't be the case.

... i were nicer. i've been blaming hormones for my short temper for the past year. it's time to admit that hormones are but 75% of it -- the rest can be blamed to my temperament. still, that shouldn't be a bar to me attempting to be less of the person i am and more of the person i want to become.

... i had more money in the bank for security. now, this one's easy: lay off SM, rosa!!!

... life were less complicated. except thinking that alone makes it all the more complicated, IMHO.

there are so many things in life that i wish were true, except that they aren't. for now, though, i choose to be thankful for the things that ARE true.

i am thankful for all the opportunities for travel this year. i may be broke, but i gained a multitude of experience that cannot be bought with money.

i am thankful that i have a job that i *somewhat* love. it's a love-hate relationship, but at the end of the day, just one text message from a client, or a decision ruled in my client's favor, or even an a-ha moment is still enough to put a smile on my face.

i am thankful for family and friends, both of which i have -- maybe not in abundance, but they more than make it up for in quality.

life is STILL good.

oh, hello weekend, are you planning to disappear on me

see this?

as i've blogged yesterday, my upcoming week is going to be quite crazy. and, oh, add to that a VA decision i have to draft for my boss BY MONDAY and clearly, the weekend of sleeping in bed, lounging about with a good book, and attempting to prettify my house just said sayonara to me.

oh, boo-hoo.

that said, i still can't get over the fact that my career drama, which hit an all time high last friday, has virtually dissipated. could it be the dinner with good friends vanessa and rey? could it be impromptu dinner with pazi and jen? or could it be yet another weekend spent lounging about in bed and cleaning the house in a mad dash to accommodate instant dinner guests? i don't really know. what i do know is that while my current work situation still leaves much to be desired, i am actually much better now, and cravings for comfort foods of whatever nature have virtually ceased.

i am thinking though if i should do overtime tonight -- i really have to get cracking on a whole lot of things -- so that even if really will do an overtime tomorrow -- decisions don't write themselves overnight -- i will be less pressured. with three pleadings i want to be able to submit by next week, plus this decision that i have to draft, i truly, truly, truly must get cracking soon (i.e. now na, ala krissie a.)

my contact lenses are giving me problems though, and there's nothing more i want than to remove them already and put on my nerdy glasses, and lounge (i clearly love lounging). but i musn't, i shouldn't, and i couldn't. work beckons, people, and this is me saying, goodbye weekend, it was nice having you last week.

p.s. could it be though that this positivity for work-related stuff is coming from the fact that i will be taking two days off in august to hie off to vietnam and that there's be two (two!!! oh how positively lovely) long weekends in august, one after the other that the craziness that is july is just oh-so-bearable. i dunno, but i am so glad i've got my mojo back.