how to ruin what would've been a perfectly good grade
well i have really low standards

i would've been fine with a three in locgov. it was, after all, dan-gat. the goal was to get an above 2 recitation grade and expect to fail in the finals to get through with a 3.0 final grade.

a three would've been dandy.
a three would've let me breathe and happily donate an entire box of locgov readings -- arranged according to the outline and properly numbered, of course -- to some hapless junior taking up locgov this semester.
a three would've had me texting people and telling them that, hey there, i got a three in locgov and all is well with the world.

that is until someone i haven't spoken to in a while decided to, no not text, but CALL and tell me, "hey rosa. do you know locgov grades are out?"

"yeah"

"well, row-saa (that's how he pronounces my name), i got a pretty high grade."

mumbles, "ok"

"and see," he continues, "my standing before the exam was 2.5 so i was totally expecting to scrape by with a three but i got a pretty high grade."

which sent me calling the secretary's office to find out what my grade was.

it wasn't a 3, thank god, nor was it anything below it.

it was a 2.75.

i wouldn't call that a high grade. but i guess i would've happy with that had i found out before the call.

except i got HIS call.

which makes a 2.75 stupid.

and pathetic.

and really, really sad.

so now i'm reduced to computing my equally pathetic average again. which in turn in giving me a big headache, among other things.

and i have dean magi yet AGAIN.

gawd. i doubt my average can take another beating. much less my ego.

i am such a pathetic law student. of course i can stroke my ego, pat myself on the back, and say to myself, "you were doing your thesis then," or "but you were also working full-time, plus doing school visits and tutorial chats" but i know that would by lying to myself.

i have bad time management. i put too much stock on my ability to work fast or read fast or even type fast. in the end, i'm not really fooling anyone. i'm fooling myself.

so maybe this time around i've really learned. shortcuts may get you there, but in the end, it still wasn't the road you should've travelled.