there are things that make you feel like an adult: paying taxes, buying your own shampoo and conditioner, and actually getting your godparents gifts instead of expecting something from them on christmas.

and there are things that you wish you can do as an adult but could never afford to: buy your own two-bedroom condominium, have a million in the bank "just in case" and not think about it, and take time off from work to "search" for the meaning of life.

and in my book, there are things i've always dreamed of doing as an adult, impractical, crazy, but totally understandable.

buying a coach bag: impractical, crazy, but totally understandable.
or jimmy choo shoes: impractical, crazy, but totally understandable.

to a certain extent, my favorite aunt has helped me live my impractical, crazy, but totally understandable dreams: i am sometimes able to strut around in lovely impractical and crazy bags simply because i was able to pry them from her fingers. but then since my aunt is a size 5 1/2 and my foot's anywhere from a 7 to an 8, shoes have been a no-no.

believe me, i tried. i felt like cinderella's step-sister.

and so, to date, i've tried to curb my impractical and crazy dreams by indulging in less expensive brands. if i can't afford a manolo or jimmy choo shoes, then by golly, i'd look for something that'll make everyone think i'm wearing one.

but then much like eating yoghurt when you've got a craving for ice cream, you know it's not the same.

and so, this christmas, a week after my 13th month pay came in, i slipped inside designer's boulevard. i took in a whiff of the environment which screamed "money" and ran my grubby hands over the overpriced bags, shoes, and accessories. i gazed at the displays, gasped at the prices, and smiled pleasantly at the sales ladies when i'd shake my head to indicate, sorry, i can't afford that.

then i saw a pair of shoes on the kate spade stand.

they were made of black satin and the 3-inch heel was sure to make any calf slim and sexy. i've never seen anything like it, and i don't think even janylin - with their penchant for lifting imported shoe designs - can copy the exquisite wave running across the side of the shoe. hoping against all hope it wouldn't fit, i slipped it on my foot.

i couldn't help but curse, p*tang ina, ang ganda.

crazy? yes.
impractical? yes.

it would've been totally understandable if i walked out the store with empty hands.

but, i'm a girl. and i can only resist so much.

did i buy it? yes.