in the middle of a hot summer day when no matter how skimpy your outfit and how the airconditioner (or electric fan) is on full blast you still test the effectiveness of your anti-perspirant nonetheless, you wonder,

when the f*ck is it going to rain?
 
i, rosa, of weather expertise, give you several answers:

1. it will rain on your wedding day.
yes, it usually does, and nothing to worry about.  according to folklore, rain means money therefore, more rain means more money.  of course white dress + killer pumps do not make a good rain outfit but rain should be appreciated.  at least, according to my grandmother.

2. it will rain when you wear your very sexy, very beautiful, but very difficult to walk in brand-new *insert here shoe of choice*
you hem and haw about buying that nth pair of pointy and painful but very sexiful stilettos, you check your wallet, mentally compute your upcoming expenses, and text several friends before you come to a decision to buy sexy shoes.  you plan an entire outfit around your shoes.  you determine the day when they're going to get the most mileage and "viewing time."  rest assured that even if you waited for weeks to finally wear them, the day you do, will be the day that those "isolated rains and thunderstorms" will be exactly where you are.

3. it will rain the day you are running late and your car is on "coding" for the day.
i don't think i need to explain that.  it just rains.  similarly, it rains when there are no cabs, jeepneys, buses, tricycles, pedicabs, or friendly neighbors to drive you around.

4. it will rain two weeks after you've last had your car washed and you finally decided that this is the day that you will make time to drive over your favorite carwash to have your car washed, vacuumed, and waxed.
imagine: a clear blue sky, birds chirping, and roosters crowing.  perfect day, right? except your car looks like it has joined the last off-road championships.  so, you drive over to your friendly neighborhood carwash and shell out money to have your car cleaned.  it won't be long before the sky darkens and it rains.  not drizzle, but rain.  real rain, the kind that makes eerie sounds and blows umbrellas away.

so, there.  four ways to make it rain. 

any other suggestions?

and no, rey and vanessa, i will not accept your suggestion that i sing.