between school, parents, and church, you would think that these three would've taught you most of what you needed to get along in life. you learn to read. you learn to write. you learn to get along with people you don't like and you learn to be good. you learn the good stuff, you learn the bad stuff.

but what you never learn is how to get through a two-hour lunch with your boyfriend's family.

sunday lunches are sacred. i can see the boy saturday evenings, sunday afternoons, and monday late night, but not on sunday lunch. sunday lunches are spent with his entire family. sunday lunches are spent on family meetings. sunday lunches aren't spent with the girlfriend.

that is, until yesterday. the girlfriend of four months going on five was invited to THE family lunch.

it was his sister's birthday and she was paying. she told the boyfriend to invite me, and in spite of nervousness, tension, and great alarm that one only feels right before an exam one didn't study for, i said yes.

my chopstick skills - one i had since grade four - failed me. my let-me-peel-the-shrimp-with-my-spoon-and-fork-instead-of-my-hands-skills - which was non-existent to begin with - failed to appear miraculously. even my appetite - especially for all things yummy - failed me.

all i could manage was to bob my head and smile.

after all, what could one really do, especially if the first greeting i got after sitting down was from his five year old nephew who blurted in the loudest voice imaginable, "who are you?"