changing the game*

*this posts for you, Chel, who tweeted me how she dislikes checking this blog only to see the same youtube link still :)

it's almost a year to the date since i left my old job, and while i will not pretend that i am crazy in love with working for MVP, i'm thinking there's a lot more in my life that's changed aside from my job. maybe it's cause i'm 35 and old (not just older, but OLD!), or maybe it's cause for the first time in my life the people (literally - i work with them, i eat with them, i hang out with them) closest to me are married, and having kids, and paying for mortgages and it's made me re-assess my life more than once in the past couple of months. maybe it's also cause i've finally fully embraced crossing that barrier between "alone in a house with no parents" to "i'm claiming this house as my own cause it's highly unlikely that my parents are coming back to live here" and have committed to being an adult full time. i really can't put a finger to it. but let's just say that things have definitely changed.

earlier today - in between trying to check if the other party has finally made the changes we've been asking for and figuring out how to finish that never-ending memo the SVP asked me to write - i realized that with the change comes a sense of going back to the basics for me as well. am i making sense? well, if not, here's the ME that i'm enjoying with now ... maybe making a list will make things clearer.

1. i'm cooking ... again. i used to cook and bake a lot when i was younger. it started when my mom visited my dad and left us with tita mayu for *almost* an entire summer. oh that was a glorious summer - it was filled with afternoon cooking lessons, good food, bugging tito lito, and experiencing normal things in a different way. so while my mom abhorred the kitchen, i loved it. my saturday mornings were spent watching nora daza on tv, and my saturday afternoons were spent recreating stuff from her "let's cook with nora". somewhere along the way, i stopped cooking, and me eating take out food, for some reason, was interpreted by some friends that i don't know how to cook at all. i don't know how they jumped to that conclusion (maybe cause they don't cook?) but by now, i guess they already know i do. my sopas is amazing, and i've recently added japchae, vietnamese spring rolls, tortilla roll ups, and chicken embutido to my line-up. tonight, i cooked sinigang for the first time, and i'm making plans to learn how to make adobong pusit. oh yes, i'm cooking again.

2. i'm enjoying my home. oh, i've had a love-hate relationship with this house. part of me resents that i was left with the responsibility and the muebles, as one of my friends love to call my furniture. it feels too big for one person to handle by herself, and yet i enjoy the freedom of  having so much space (which translates to having space to hold all the stuff i want!). a couple of years ago, KEf taught me that the only way i'll be able to embrace this house was if i spent more time in it, learned to entertain, and made it my own. years later, i'm agreeing. i've so many plans lined up that it'll take me years to accomplish them all, but it's all good, i tell you, it's all good.

3. i'm cutting back. i wish i could say i'm cutting back on food, but since i've been cooking up a storm, what i'm cutting back on are things that don't make my spirit soar with happiness. i'm learning to say no to things that won't bring a smile to my face. and i'm learning to make space in my day - space in terms of time to just stare out and let my mind wander instead of having to rush to get from one place to another. oh, this is difficult for me still -- just last saturday i did a marathon drive to qc - one hour SD session - drive to dapitan - marathon shopping at dapitan - drive to alabang - meeting - dinner/grocery/friend time before finally crashing at home but i'm sure in time i'll be less go-go-go and more this-not-that.

hopefully, i can say i'm writing again. but surprisingly, even with the internet at home, and the wonderful things swirling around my life, it's been difficult finding time to write. soon, i hope. soon.