way back in high school when stuff from tickles was still a big thing, i had stationery that sported the tagline "men are like tissues: soft, strong, and disposable." to a certain extent they are, given that immediately after my ovary operation in november 2002, i began the nasty habit of dating roughly around one guy per semester: 2nd sem 2002-2003 - the martian; summer 2003 - the guy who i though was checklist guy; 1st sem 2003-2004 - guy who taught me how to back into a parking space; 2nd sem 2003-2004 - bluebeard a.k.a. the gf-beating-piece-of-sh*t-who-is-actually-universal-pangit.

in spite of the dating spree and seeming inability to commit, i was actually engaged in what could be euphimistically called "serial monogamy". for few months at a time, before i got tired of the guy or the guy got pissed with me, i was committed (except for this one time). i sprouted sweet sappy stuff that'll make me cringe if i had to read it today. i even enrolled in a gym to please someone.

for someone who's actually friends with a man who admit to cheating, lying, and bedding other women while on the brink of proposing to his long-time girlfriend, you'd think i'd be scared of entering yet another relationship. you'd think i'd lock up, stay at home and watch hair on my armpits and legs grow to undesirable (and therefore undateable) lengths, and concentrate on earning that law degree. but no, no way. at the end of every relationship, or what seemed like it, i'd cry a little, drive like a maniac for about a week, then begin the arduous process of falling in love again.

i do it not because i'm a masochist. not because i'm a sucker either. i, and a whole lot of other women i bet, do it because they want simple things. they want a first and last call of the day. they want a cellphone inbox full of sweet nothings. they want flowers on valentine's day and someone special to buy gifts for on christmas day. they want men who wouldn't mind if they sort of pop out of their jeans because of having indulged in too many fries, burgers, and softdrinks over the summer break.

so, true to form, i found a little summer lovin' ...

i just hope this one stays in for the long haul.