same time, tomorrow, i'd be an hour into my political law exam. as with last year, the first week will be "my week" as both subjects happen to be the ones that made all the years in law school worth it. i loved everything poli, and even loved more anything labor so tomorrow - while not a breeze - is something that wouldn't weigh as heavy in my heart as the second and third sundays.

i've received "i know you'll do well" text messages, promises of prayers, and anything and everything by way of sending me off with all the luck in the world. members from my alnp community have prayed over me and have given me thousands of "god bless" kisses and shoulder taps. right now, my aunt and her entire family are ignoring me in their bid to make me study one last time before i stop at five this evening.

panic has begun creeping since thursday evening. in one swoop, all the calmness that has pervaded me the last five months disappeared and stupid concerns such as "who will i eat lunch with" and "who will be there with me" crept into my consciousness. whatever adrenalin rush that has propelled me to study every single day since april 1 dissipated and left me bone weary. i am tired, and scared, and fearful of facing the twenty to fifty questions each examiner will throw my way starting 8 tomorrow morning.

but, this is the rest of my life. this IS my life. this is what i am supposed to do best.

and with that thought, i bid you all again a temporary farewell for the next 28 days. wish me luck.

it's been a while since i last taught a class, unless of course you count the one i did last friday. but then who knew that i'd be back to my usual "teacher" self so soon in the game? who knew that i'd slip back into my old habbit of finalizing my lecture just a couple of hours before the actual lecture itself?

bad, huh. thank goodness for the fact that, well, i do know this topic like the back of my hand. the only difference though is that i came up - for some reason - with the idea of making an entirely different powerpoint and now i have to live with its consequences. read: finish powerpoint with less than seven hours to go before the lecture itself. seven hours should be good under normal circumstances but then if you've to figure in taking a shower, dressing up, driving all the way to ortigas, eating lunch, and setting up in the picture, well, seven hours isn't much.

and, oh, i've got to add "slight fever" to the equation. somehow, the fact that i actually got some studying done on a weekend seems to have shocked my body and reduced it to this sickly lump of clay.

two years ago i was a superwoman doing anything and everything i wanted. now, all i want to do is snuggle under the covers and sleep. 29 shouldn't feel this old.

last sunday, at his birthday party, leuts sorta complained that he doesn't know what's been happening to me lately as i haven't been posting really.

i do, but then considering the last couple of posts have been about how i've been engaging in incessant retail therapy, they don't really count, especially when all leuts really wants to know, him being leuts and all that, are the juicy stuff.

but then since i'm just in a smelly corner at netopia and i don't really enjoy surfing at smelly corners, here's just a quick unorganized summary of things that has happened to me recently:

1. new guy who asked me to hear mass with him on our first date. 1,000,000 pogi points.

2. and no, he's not the guy i've been pining over since april. a totally new guy.

3. the weird thing? i actually like the new guy.

4. finally went on leave, much to my officemates' joy. they keep telling me to go on leave so i can finally study. i think it has more to do with the fact that in spite of all the studying i have to do, i have a tendency to disturb them a lot.

5. shopping monster has went on hiatus, finally. i suspect it's because of the sorry and sad state of my finances.

6. i watched sukob. it was not exactly the best movie to watch especially when you have such a limited time for activities like watching movies. but i did, and stupid as it may have been, the time was well spent if only for the fact that it was pure, unadulterated entertainment that didn't require any form of thinking on my part. and, considering the huge amounts of information i've put inside my brain over the last five months, any activity that doesn't require a working brain is tops in my book.

7. i just realized i haven't really posted anything about the bar, save for a random complaint here and there. so, in case you're interested in bar news:
a. yes, i'm studying.
b. no, i don't think i know everything yet.
c. from how some students talk, it does seem possible to know everything. as for me, it'll be a miracle though if that were to happen.
d. my aunt asked me what's different between this year and last year. well, for one, i actually got through my first reading and am hoping to finish my second reading before pre-week. but, sad to say, commercial law has yet to make sense to me. i'm resigning myself to a really low grade at that subject. so, isn't it pretty dumb that almost every other person's telling me to go into corporate law???

the posts might be fewer and farther in between beginning today. the first sunday is just two and a half weeks away and i've so much to squeeze in my already much abused brain between now and that day. any extra-curricular activity - including blogging - will have to be severely cut down for the meantime.

so, i'll see you guys when i see you. and hopefully, by that time, things will be so much better for me ... and for you too!

p.s. if you were duped by starbucks to buy all those expensive drinks so you can get a planner, will you be kind enough to give me your coupons which allows you to "personalize" your drink? that is if you're not using them. thank you.

there are good days.

and there are really good days. days where you wake up early and feel like jumping right out of bed. days where you log on and catch the girl you've been having "offline chats with". days where you catch your dad online.

really good days are when you skip lunch but your tummy feels ok after downing two packs of cookies someone gives you for giving him a ride. it's when you arrive early but you don't mind as it gives you time to bond with new friends. it's when you're surrounded by five like-minded girls who you enjoy in both serious and non-serious capacities.

a really good day would mean you being able to avoid buying something that's been bugging your mind for days now. or, it's when you do decide to buy something simply because it was on sale and you liked the colors. it's when you're able to say that you don't need another pair of pink three-inch stilettos, even if you'll be able to get it 70% off the original price.

it's when you're able to park yourself in starbucks, plug yourself into your ipod and study like the bar's going to be tomorrow. it's when you're able to find something to tide you over until christmas comes and they have peppermint mocha on the menu once more (fyi: it's grande decaf mint non-fat with whip extra hot mocha). it's when everything else doesn't matter except you and your ability to make sense out of criminal law.

today's one of those days. ain't life grand?

it can't be THAT bad

the other day i received a text message telling me that there's a bunch of people suing kfc because of the oil they use to fry their fried chicken. and, since he probably knew i wasn't going to believe it cause it was, after all, just a forwarded message, it also said there that the message wasn't a hoax as it was reported in the international herald tribune last june 5.

a message like that would've probably deterred someone from eating kfc, even for a week at least. but NOT me. almost immediately after i read the message, i closed my book, stood up, and made a beeline for the nearest kfc.

i just kept thinking that i don't really exercise (except bounce up and down on my exercise ball) and i eat bacon anyway. i don't drink the required amounts of water and my sleeping, at best, is erratic. how much harm can kfc do, right?

plus, kfc makes me happy, and being happy makes happy hormones, which makes you quite healthy. so i'm thinking as long as i kfc brings me unadulterated joy, then i'm going to eat kfc. saturated fats notwithstanding.