embracing the S box

i am sure, that in our collective lives, we've filled out forms and have been forced to categorize one's self in a box meant to represent either a choice, one's status, or opinion about something. and to me, person who loves filling out all types of forms with a misplaced sense of giddiness, there's a thrill (or dread, as in the case of age) when one "moves" from one category to another.

income, for one, has been a sore spot in my life. so moving another tier up, that was a biggie! and age, sigh, if only i can still celebrate march 2 without gaining a year ... turning 36 means that i will be moving from the 30 - 35 range to one that is <--this--> close to 40. in the words of the characters in the archie comic book series (shucks, yet another affirmation of my "aged" status), EGAD!

but while i've moved from one category or another, there's one box that i can't seem to escape (even the religion boxes i've moved from "others" to "roman catholic"!) -- the "S" box. it comes just after you declare your age, an accusation of sorts, similar to relatives who you see once a year in holiday gatherings who look at you with unmasked pity in their eyes as they ask if you have a boyfriend or you've plans to get married and you reply with a "no". i'm a girl, so they'd remind me about my dwindling chances of becoming a mother, with the more modern one's urging, pabuntis ka na lang, as if sex were as easy and uncomplicated as buying coke from the corner sari-sari store.

growing up, "old maids" were few and far in between. everyone gets married, sooner or later. some even get married twice (and no, no one died, and no one's muslim so you get the picture, right?). lola peng, my mom's aunt, and lola nanay, my paternal grandmother's best friend, were novelties, generous grand-aunts who'd adopt us as their own grandchildren, their gifts a happy addition to those expected from grandparents. none of us even deigned to imagine we'd end up like them, after all, wasn't finding the ONE, getting married, and having kids part of the series that begins with go to school and get a job?

maybe my mom was right when she made an offhand comment to me in high school. by then, the martha stewart gene had kicked in and i turned into that kind of person who prepared  baons for road trips, something my mom never did (she never espoused eating in the car). and then, when i decided to shift to education in college, she noted that my course choice would definitely be another nail in the "single" coffin. i, her only daughter, was most likely going to grow old alone.

funnily enough, my mom's prophetic words should not have had any basis then - i dated behind my parents' back, and when i actually could date, i did, and had boyfriends of all shapes and sizes. once, vanessa wrote a draft screenplay loosely based on my relationships and her mentor commented that art should at least imitate life and vanessa's story of my life was certainly more art than anything. i wanted to send a note - life is more complex than any of the things people could come up with; mine certainly was.

when i broke up with the last person i actually consider my boyfriend, i made a pledge not to date until i passed the bar. i've been a lawyer for five and a half years already ... my status has yet to change. it's as if i've reached my quota of possible beaus after the dating spree in my twenties. sometimes i try to imagine myself ending up with any of the boys i dated, as well as the boys who tried to date me, and save for a guy who i turned down and eventually became my best friend, i actually can't imagine spending the rest of my life with any of them.

on the wall of my bathroom, right beside the mirror, there's a post-it that reads, "i'd rather be single that be married to the wrong man." ironically, a boy i dated, after using the bathroom, plucked the post-it from the wall and kept it in his wallet, claiming that it will be a constant reminder to him to be the right man. i put a replacement up (actually immediately after he stole the original post-it from the wall) ... this wasn't something that was going to be negotiable for me.

when i acknowledged that marriage isn't something that happens with the mere passing of time, when i accepted that i didn't really want any of the boys i dated, when i realized that life is infinitely more complicated than any of the plots of a sweet dreams book, that's when i had finally embraced the S box.

christmas is officially ON!

yesterday, i officially had my first christmas event -- a dinner with my prayer partner from community! and, can i just say it was lovely?

my office friends and i were supposed to have dinner at vivere's sky lounge, but since all three live north of mandaluyong, not to mention that one is a new mom, asking them to go to alabang in the midst of the crazy christmas traffic will just be sheer cruelty. so, when yvette came up with the idea of having our christmas dinner at vivere, it was like my prayers have been answered.

funny - i'm a southerner through and through and i don't think i've ever dined here.

 

of course the biggest attraction of the sky lounge will always be the view. and crazy me, save for this shot (with not-so-pretty crimson in the background), i don't think i have one capturing all the twinkly lights of the city. 

{a side story: as we were getting ready to pose, my heel got caught between the slats. i tried pulling it up, but couldn't. thank goodness for the waiter who came to the rescue to un-wedge my shoe!}

one of the highlights - at least for me - was seeing the lovely tree in the lobby. oh, how i wish i knew my camera more so that i could've made the pictures less washed out because of the lights! this was what i call our "talk show" pics. i mean, it seemed like the perfect setting for an interview, don't you think?

this is what i call my "congresswoman" pic -- if i were a congresswoman, and i were to give out calendars to my constituents, THIS would be the pic. again, i wish i knew the settings of my camera better!

and as for the food? let's just say that i enjoyed every bite, so much that i didn't even get to finish the pasta we ordered!

for the record, it was tomato soup for me ...

then we split a serving of caesar salad ...

yep -- this was half an order! generous, huh?

and then we split a serving of seafood pasta ...

again, quite generous, huh?

all in all, it was a great way to start the christmas season. hopefully, the season will bring lots of good times with friends and family, amazing presents (yes, i am addicted to presents!), and a greater appreciation of the miracle of the season ☺

thursday club

{class picture!}

friends have noticed that my amazing friend Vanessa has this penchant for thursday in her movies. in one more chance, popoy and basha's group eats dinners on thursdays and her latest, the mistress, features bea's character meeting with her benefactor on thursday.

and since my thursdays are no-no's when it comes to scheduling stuff, they asked, are you the reason why vanessa keeps using thursday as a special day?

nope, and i will have to ask vanessa why she uses it (maybe she didn't even notice it?) as her day-of-choice. as for me - again let me reiterate that i'm not iglesia (neither is vanessa) and as for my thursdays, well, they are spent with this bunch of amazing people.

perks of the job!

no one really enjoys being thrown into christmas party committee duty. but since five of us entered the office all at the same time, the assumption was each one of us would have to take on the task of being the committee chair. should be easy peasy, except that (1) we're expected to come up with three parties (2) on a paltry budget, not to mention (3) make sure there's a carving station on the office party that (4) should be held at a hotel and that (5) all the rank and file and supervisory employees get christmas baskets.

this year it was my turn. and this year, the party was going to be held at the mandarin.

now, us girls, we take it upon ourselves to do an actual food tasting. not that we're matakaw (oh yes we are) but because we just want to make sure that "the flavor profile pleases everyone's palate". okay, that was something i just made up. and i really say it. so banquet officers everywhere must think i'm crazy.

but call me crazy if you will ... at least it got us a free buffet at paseo uno.

yep, free buffet. not food tasting, mind you. free eat-all-you-can buffet at paseo uno. for dinner. i am blessed i know. my waistline? not so much. 

apparently, it would be much cheaper for them to just allow us to stuff our faces silly at the paseo uno buffet instead of cooking tasting portions of the buffet we had ordered.  still, we really tried to do our job by asking the banquet officer assigned to us which of the food served was on our menu. i think she knew that the food tasting we were asking for was really just a nice way of saying "it would be nice to have a free hotel meal in exchange for all the stress of being the christmas party committee" but in fairness to her, i think she did a mighty job of not laughing out loud, seeing as we were all probably googly-eyed at the spread before us. 

so she just pooh-poohed away and we did some nodding, and thinking, and pretending to know what we were doing. after a while, she just said, "i'll leave you to enjoy your buffet."  magic words.

cause we really enjoyed.

i was sad (upset!) that i had to run off to alabang to fulfill my tuloy duties. but, all the rushing and fast eating notwithstanding, i did manage to still stuff myself silly.

any regrets? none, except that i wish i had more time to eat more food.

tiny trees

it's december! which means it is officially christmas territory. next to my birthday, christmas happens to be one of my most favorite days of the year. there's just something about the cool air, the carols, and the presents that bring out the kid in me.

when i was a kid, setting up the tree was something that my mom and i did together. she'd put on the record (as in the vinyl long playing kind) at the turntable and we'd sing carols as we trimmed our tree. then, as she wrapped presents, i'd be her human tape dispenser.

when i went off to college, i stayed in a dorm so that meant not being able to see our tree on a daily basis. you know what my mom did? she got me a tiny tree to take with me! so this tree right here is 18 years old. (okay - did i just reveal to the universe i went to college way back in 1994? i guess i did! now it's your turn to say, "you don't look that old!")

{is there such a thing as way too many pink balls? uhm, yes!
and i just noticed now but my tree appears quite lopsided!}

a couple of you remember the martian, and this tree here was his gift to me when i went off to law school and ... you guessed it, had to spend a whole lot of time in the dorms. originally this tree came with a whole lotta lights. and, as with old christmas lights, they eventually burned out.

{faux lemons!} 

i will admit i was sorely tempted to buy a tree + new decors especially when one of my friends ended up decorating her condo with christmas finds from divi for only P1,700. yep - P1,700 for a 5ft. tree, 2 5ft. needle pine garlands, and a whole lotta decors (balls, flowers, leaves) in pink and gold. another friend scored a whole lot of decors + a tree as well when she went the following week. me - i went - but i was able to stop myself since kuya ef pointed out that (1) i already have way too much stuff and (2) i hardly set up the tree anyway.

bah, humbug! hahaha.

scrooge issues aside, he is right. i have a full-sized tree in the maids-room-turned-into-laundry-room, and there are bazillions of decors hidden in various nooks and crannies. the pink christmas balls i think i got off season last year (used them to fill a huge bowl + the cake tray last christmas) and the faux lemons were from two or three years ago when someone from the st. james bazaar sold all of them to me for a little more than a hundred bucks i think (the white ribbons i added myself). i also found the christmas solar lamps my dad gave me last year (which will be brought out once the yard is cleaned!) so i am, without a doubt, amply covered in the christmas decor department.

what about you? how's your christmas preparations coming along?