the ex factor

sa (dati) kong mahal na ex-boyfriend,

oo, alam ko na gwapo ka. aaminin ko na sa aking mga ligaw na panaginip ay naiisip ko pa rin kung gaano ka-cute ang mga anak natin kung nagkatuluyan tayo.

at, oo, fabulous ka. feeling ko talaga prinsesa ako pag nakasakay ako sa napakagara mong auto and kapag ka-holding hands kita sa mall. mataas ka. maporma. agaw pansin. kaya't kahit na alam kong super cute ako (wag nang kumontra ☺☺☺) ay alam ko din na pag may nakakakita sa atin dati, iniisip nila ay, mahal ni God si sister. wagi.

yes, wagi ako. at kahit na inutangan mo ako at hindi mo na ako binayaran muli (kainis, pangbayad yun nung bar petition ko) at kahit na medyo certified na from a psychologist na hindi kita dapat i-consider muli, minsan naiisip ko pa din na it doesn't get any better than the time we spent together. ay, bitter-bitteran po. pero, keber. kahit na ano sabihin ng iba, medyo mahirap ka palitan. at kung magiging totoo ako sa sarili ko, kahit na limang taon na mula nung naghiwalay tayo ay hindi pa rin kita napapalitan. yung mga ni-date ko ... hay, hindi sila counted.

pero, ipasangtabi mo lahat ng mga sinulat ko ngayon. kasi isipin ko man ang lahat ng nasa-itaas, ay may nakakalimutan ka pa rin tuwing tatawagan mo ako out of the blue:

una, hindi mo na ako girlfriend.

pangalawa, hindi mo din ako abogado.

pangatlo, hindi tayo magkaibigan.

kaya, bawal ang favors, bawal ang free legal advice, at bawal pumunta sa bahay ko.

at kung kailangan mo ng abogado, may acceptance fee po ako at by the hour ang billing ko.

that said, my dear ex-boyfriend, yung tawag niyo po kaninang umaga ay P500 na po.

ang iyong nakaraan,

rosa

the future's so bright, i gotta wear shades

by now you must know i am a huge bea alonzo fan.

and in the unlikely event that you don't, well, i'm saying it here, for the record: i am a huge bea alonzo fan.

that said, i must also admit that in my wildest fantasies, i'd be bea alonzo. once upon a time, i even launched a BEAutiful project wherein, in true bea fashion, i wanted to lose weight, pretty much the way that she did before she did one more chance.

*sigh* to be young and with john lloyd by your side.

now, all ramblings aside, i must admit now that the reason behind this post is that yesterday, i bought my very own pair of pacific blue sunglasses ... for P215.00 (or something like that). here's the back story:

i was crazy tired, not to mention crazy sleepy, so true to form, i spent an hour or so walking around my favorite mall. i got a couple of stuff that i intend to wear for the KL trip, checked the home stuff (and found treasures which i ended up not buying, good job me), and was at the second floor just walking around when i spied the area where they sell sunglasses.

now, because of my unusually round face (and head, and body ... yes, all of me is round), i've always had difficulty buying sunglasses. as a matter of fact, for the longest time, i had to live with squinting against the sun while driving. then i read how squinting makes you get wrinkles, and i started spying wrinkles around my eye area, so i said to myself that i gotta go on a quest to find shades that'll fit my face.

it was tough at first, but thank goodness that oversized frames became a huge thing, and boom, all of a sudden, i could find some that would fit me.

the first pair i got my friends called my "aging artist leaves rehab look". it was dark, it was round, and i got it from one of those ubiquitous i2i counters. i loved it and actually wore them a lot, until i gave them to a friend's sister who loved them too and wore them a lot. why'd i give them away? well cause i found pair #2 -- square-ish frames from bayo.

the bayo sunglasses were light, and i loved the case, except that (1) i lost the case and (2) the frames started peeling. i guess it might have been cause i wear them even when i'm on the water, hence the saltwater makes the plastic icky. so i used them until i found pair #3 - my "oh-so-sad-someone-passed-away" shades.

and, not to make light of my grand-aunt's death or anything, but i actually bought them the day before my grand-aunt's funeral, and i wore them to said funeral, and that's it. they're a pair from charles and keith, and i love them so, and i actually wear them all the time. and they're still fine.

but, unfortunately, it has nothing against my uber-love for bea alonzo and my desire to buy shades from a brand she endorses.

(okay, the fact that the shades are (1) cheap (2) fit my face perfectly and (3) did i say cheap? factored in too☺)

so, now i have a new pair of shades.

incidentally, i was actually intending to write more about shades -- right now my future is feeling so bright and i'm terribly excited about it. maybe that'll be part 2 instead.

true love

i don't even know who yani is, much less nicky. and sometimes, i can't help but ask, if your name is written ahead of your partner's, does that mean you love the other person more than he loves you? plus, taking into account that this graffiti was carved on a bamboo tree planted on the grounds of chapel on a hill, is this declaration of love the kind that's undying? or is it something that one might come back to, years later, if only for the purpose of scratching out the other person's name.

ahhhh, love. either things get better, or things don't. there just isn't any middle ground.

last friday, a couple of friends and i facebook-stalked c's crush. on his public profile, he had an album labeled "god's gift" which contained around 20 or so pictures of him with the girl. i didn't know which was more kilig -- the fact that they always seemed so happy and in love in the pictures or that he called her god's gift. i mean, i wouldn't mind being called god's gift to someone (i might have been, you know, called that ... by a winning client. haha!), especially someone who was as cute and godly and *insert everything else seemingly positive here* as c's crush.

then again, i can't help but be reminded of the post-it i had placed on my bathroom mirror -- i'd rather be single than to be married to the wrong man. it's there to remind me every single day that while there might be times that i couldn't help but crave for a lifelong partner, a lifetime is also too long to be live with a mistake. the original post-it i had placed was actually snatched by a person i dated a year ago who, after reading it, said he "stole" it to put it in his wallet to remind himself every day that he wanted to be the right man for me. well, we all know how that ended, but i do hope that he'll be the right man to the girl he's dating now.

right about the same time, a friend wrote on her facebook wall that "a woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her." i copied the quote and tacked it to my office bulletin board, yet another reminder to me that the man i will marry has to be more in love with God than he is with me. after all, all i can threaten him with is a lifetime of regrets; God, on the other hand, will be dealing with him eternally.

am i anxious about my state in life? oh yes, most definitely. but i am more anxious about making a mistake. and as i move forward on another aspect of my life, i am resting my anxieties on this one on God. some things i can take charge of. some things i can even manipulate (with my puny will). but after a slew of heartaches, heartbreaks, and "what was i thinking?" moments, this time around, i'm taking the back seat.

tabi tabi po

as the lady beside me adjusted herself for the 27th time since the bus started moving five minutes ago, i couldn't help but ask myself, aren't there commuting rules that one, by mere common sense and etiquette, knows?

i mean, considering that we were all squished together like sardines in a too-tight row, it makes sense to wiggle at least once (to find a comfortable position) and then stay put for the rest of the trip, thereby allowing one's seatmates to continue on with the bus ride in peace. while i generally make exceptions for (1) parents with kids; (2) sleeping people; and (3) elderly, i couldn't, for the life of me, understand why the lady beside me kept moving, and moving, and moving, and moving. i was <--this--> close to elbowing her and asking her to stop.

then again, elbowing one's seatmate while confined in sardine-like manner is also against the commuter's bible.

in the beginning, i thought i was alone in thinking that there's some unwritten set of rules out there regarding commuting, until a friend brought up during conversation how she already had the "seat of honor" in front of the FX, thereby giving her the choice whether to scoot near the driver or to get off and make the second person scoot towards the inner seat. apparently, she chose to make the second person sit near the driver, which made said person complain and argue that it was she who had the right to the window seat since she came in second. my friend ended her story with a question: diba unwritten rule na ako yung may choice dapat sa situation? and you know what, i could only agree.

having commuted almost my entire adult life, i have a bazillion and one experiences with commuting. i also have a bazillion and one "rules" floating around in my head. (1) no one should play music that can be heard by others on the bus, especially if there's a movie playing; (2) if one is standing, one should mind her bag to make sure that said bag does not hit the poor passenger sitting down; (3) if you won't be getting off in the next five kilometers, it does not make any sense why you won't accede to the conductor's request to move further inside the bus; (4) if your kids have motion sickness, you better make preparations way ahead of time; (5) the bus is not a trash can; (6) neither are the streets outside the window; (7) if you can't keep your hands each other, get a room; (8) shower; (9) i don't like to hear you entire life story/love life/ business dealings the entire bus ride -- a short conversation is fine, a long conversation at the top of your voice is unbearble; and (10) i am in the bus to get somewhere, not to make friends with strangers.

do you have "rules" of your own? share them please ☺

p.s. this post was written in honor of a good friend over at commuter who has recently re-started blogging and has chosen -- obviously from the blog title -- commuting as his blog theme. i am reminded of when i started to blog and wanted to do the same thing, hence the URL http://busrider.blogspot.com, but was unfortunately unable to come up with something interesting on a daily basis. go show him some love, will you?

it's just another manic monday

i'll be the first to admit it: monday mornings are tough. they're especially tougher when you've spent the entire weekend sleeping, and then you find yourself wide awake at 1 a.m. monday morning, unable to sleep, insomnia made worse by menstrual cramps brought about by crazy ovarian cyst.

i should know -- that's how things were for me last night, or rather, early this morning.

anyway, alarm clocks notwithstanding, i woke up late, and ended up getting to work late, which was made worse by three phone calls where i was especially nasty (translation: just not my usual nice self) to the callers.

exhibit a: all i wanted to say is i told you, give it up, and things aren't going to get better IMHO.

exhibit b: short cut version of our conversation was you were terrible inconsiderate for someone who's not paying me to be her lawyer.

and, exhibit c: i turned into a tattletale by bypassing the person herself, called her immediate superior and complained in no uncertain terms about the subordinate's shabby work performance.

harsh, yes. especially when i've a million and one things to address, none of which i actually want to do. phooey. can't it all be hunky dory happy like my new favorite client?