drive, drive, drive your car....

i'll be the first to admit it: driving is not my forte. yes, i can drive spike to and fro metro manila but when even your sweet boyfriend has taken to sleeping when you're behind the wheel, you've got to admit to yourself that there's a bit of a problem there.

i've always wanted to drive. due to an amazing -- but unexpected -- chain of events, i was left with an 8-year-old lancer glxi which i have never driven my entire life. one night, after having driven on a main road only twice, i decided that i could not spend another night in UP and i wanted to go home. i let the thursday evening traffic pass, then at 9 p.m. i sat behind the wheel, and slowly, but surely, began my trek home.

the engine died on me 10 times. i switched both the airconditioner (my hands were really cold) and the radio (too distracting!) off and stared on the road like a mad driver. i clung onto the steering wheel for dear life. and when finally, i made the right turn onto my street, i sighed a huge sigh of relief and sent an SMS to every person in my phonebook. "i made it home, DRIVING, alone."

almost two years later, and a car to replace the glxi i smashed to smithireens, i continue to be the same menace on the road. i, however, do not see the need to turn the aircon off anymore, and i drive with the radio on so i can sing along. my hands are sometimes everywhere except the wheel -- texting, holding a siopao for breakfast, rummaging my bag for a pen i thought i lost, etc. etc.

today, however, i return to rosa, the quiet, scared driver. why? because our school's assistant dean just asked me if i could drive her to greenmeadows.

i'm scared. very scared.

and to think i thought this monday was going to be a good one.

i must've been on dope.

from the moment my ass landed at home friday evening to yesterday at 4p.m. i've been plodding around the house doing nothing but eat, sleep, and watch t.v. by 3 yesterday afternoon, i began seeing redrum* everywhere and so i took pat's invitation to go out and meet his friend which meant going to the mall which meant seeing the sale which meant buying cheap but lovely new shoes on sale at janylin.

and as we all know, lovely new shoes means ultra-mega-watt excitement to go to work, even on a wet cold i'd-rather-stay-in-bed-all-day weather. of course, pat promising to drop by for lunch was a good thing too. new shoes + sweetie seeing me in new shoes = amazing day.

sometimes, not even new shoes could change the fact that your boyfriend cancelled on you.

fever, albeit a very slight fever.

pat, being a boy, of course did the let-me-try-to-make-you-feel-guilty-by-saying-i'd-go-anyway route. "i'm sick" he said, complete with the whiny baby voice.

"really?" i said.

"yeah." ::coughing::

"so you can't come?" i knew it, i told my myself. four days in a row is too good to be true.

::coughing:: "i'll try" ::coughing:: "i'll drink medicine" ::whiny gurgling::

so in the end, i knew what he wanted me to say was "it's okay sweetie, no problem, just stay at home" and so i said that, forget the fact that my ears were getting red cause i'm so sick and tired of him being, well, sick all the time.

i know i'm evil.

but sometimes, i just couldn't get it why some people are sick all the time.

it's windy, they get sick. it's drizzling, they get sick. it's sunny, they get sick.

no wonder doctors make a whole lot of money.

and so today i'm cranky.

this monday ain't gonna be a good one.

*come on, you must know this one, right?

-oOo-

i finally met ara.

it was great, we laughed a lot, and we found out that we've got at least one thing in common:

a disbelief that anyone who has stopped wearing socks with her uniform has to be home by 9.

really.

i've got a problem with sun cellular. a huge problem.

i've forgiven you for the generally weak signal. even if sometimes i have to stand outside the dorm with one hand outstretched to catch whatever microwave signals filter in through the trees, i don't mind.

i've forgiven you for the bills that never arrive on time, for the mentally-challenged (oh, we're so p.c. right over here) customer service person who asked me to give directions to get to pearl drive in ortigas when it's just about become the katipunan road of pasig.

but to cut me off like that, for three, and possibly more, days away from text messaging and phone calls to clients who do not have landlines less than a week before a huge criminal trial -- that i cannot forgive.

i've been good. i settle my bills the day they arrive. i even round it off and try to pay a little more than my bill, just so next month's bill won't be that much of a shocker. i try to use my sun phone to call my parents in the US, my clients, my students, my friends, and my boyfriend even just so i can generate enough revenue for your struggling company. whenever anyone asks whether i'm happy with my sun phone, i say "yes" believing that one day, you will finally come through for me.

but come on, if we have another year and 4 months before we can call this relationship quits, we have to settle our problems.

listen up.

first, i do not want to pay off bills that have not arrived yet. that's why it's called postpaid. give me the bill, i pay it. my mom trained me that way. do not, i repeat, do not have your collection people call me on a bright cheery wednesday afternoon while i'm doing my grocery to tell me that i have to pay a bill that has not arrived yet. had i been the kind of person to do that, i'd have stuck to my prepaid line.

second, i hate having to call back simply because the line was cut. a hotline is a hotline. i do not want to deal with everything i have to say in four minutes. i cannot say everything i have to say to your customer service representative in four minutes, especially if he happens to be mentally challenged. i am mad, i am pissed, i am fuming and hungry and sleepy. being polite over the phone is the least of my concerns. whatever glimmer of politeness i have disappears when i have to call three times, and give my name, my cellphone number, my middle name and birthday for verification, and repeat the root of my complaint every single time!!!

third, review your policies. i have a P1,000 credit limit. my bill amounted to P779.80, due on august 16, 2004. my running balance is P380++. i paid my bill last july 31, and according to mentally-challenged customer service representative, they received my hard-earned P780 on july 31, 16 full days before it was due. yesterday i got my services redirected. yes, you got my payment, yes my running balance is now well within my credit limit, but you're sorry you cannot return my outgoing services until i pay another P180 so that my outstanding balance is 20% of my credit limit. i'm sorry but no matter which directions my neurons fire this morning, i do not understand why i have to make another payment, especially when i have not been billed yet for those services (go back to number 1).

i never thought i'd say this, but i miss my globe. humongous bills and all, globe never let me down. globe was with me in the middle of the ocean to bacolod, in the middle of bangkok hopelessly lost with only a cellphone to find my way back to my aunt, and while the pilot and i were starting our relationship and all we had between us was his bangkok simcard and my P2,500 globe credit limit.

sun, sun, sun. take your crummy free phone back (i never really got used to texting using that anyway). take your inspirational what-nots that i never subscribed to anyway. you're a lousy cellular service provider.

hrmph.

99 pesos in one-peso coins and a 60-peso e-load

sometime last month i asked how much time a couple should spend together.

most of you replied, enough time.

given the recent 50-centavo increase per liter of gasoline, us staying on opposite ends of metro manila may prove to be a tough hurdle to overcome. a huge pldt phone bill that nearly gave his mom a heart attack plus a sun cellular bill that never arrives on time therefore resulting my phone line being cut may mean hardly any time at all for us to bond.

never to be daunted by time, financial constraints, and what not, pat presented me with a "gift" last sunday: a nutella jar filled with one peso coins. "so you can call me from the dorm!" he said.

and yesterday, after i complained that my sun phone has been cut yet again and my emergency smart prepaid sim does not have any load, sent me P60 e-load.

that's how he is.... sweet, thoughtful, and generous.

and that's why today, we celebrate our fourth month together.

there are a few things in the world that can actually make me cry.

my girl, that really cute movie, didn't.
graduation from college didn't.
getting into my dream law school didn't.

and no matter how amazing my mom's palanca letter for me was in my grade 7 recollection, or how romantic the setting was when pat asked me to be his girlfriend, neither of the two prompted my tear ducts to produce salty liquid.

strangely enough, last night's replay of the amazing race, did. i was glad that i was alone in my room; i didn't know how i'd explain to anyone why i was tearing up by the time the internet couple was eliminated.

now, 12 hours later, i think i can attempt an explanation.

more than the amazing places they go to, the difficult stunts they attempt, and the $1M cash prize, the race is actually all about relationships. those who were fans in the past sometimes didn't really care who won in the end, but we all applauded zach's patience for all of flo's whining. we all hated the harvard law school roommates, just because, well, they didn't seem like they really liked each other. the married gay couple, chip and reichen, had this amazing devotion for each other, and who can forget that goth looking son and his dad who, at the end of it, actually realized a lot of things about each other.

this season's pairs are quite ... well, for lack of a better word ... amazing. there are teams you hate (the bowling moms, charla & mirna) and teams you love (the military dad and his daughter, brandon and nicole, chip and kim).

and last night's replay, where they were all stuck eating caviar, was the best TAR episode ever. at the end of it all, right before they were eliminated, when bob and joyce were on the sleigh ride, both kept saying in their voice overs that they've been given a second chance at love and that they're glad they found each other. during the roadblock, brandon never complained when nicole had to sleep of the wooziness brought about while eating a kilo of caviar before actually finishing the stunt. one of the twins told the other twin that if she could, she would do the roadblock herself. (of course hateful charla just kept asking mirna to shove it down her throat, argh.) after watching 9 gruelling episodes of couples fear factor where everyone just kept fighting with their partners, TAR episode 4 brought back my faith in relationships.

and so last night, as pat and i were eating a late dinner at serye, i looked over at him and told him that should i get the chance to join TAR, i'd pick him to be partner.

his reply?

"that's so sweet, kasi yung girlfriend ni jong-jong (his cousin) ang gusto salihan nila, temptation island."